


Felt Nothing Like Home

by QuickedWeen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Baker Harry, California, Chef Louis, Christmas Cookies, Christmas In July | Christmas Out Of Season, Divorce, Flirting, Fluff, Food, Friends to Lovers, Iced Coffee, M/M, New York City, Post-Divorce, Sexual Tension, Smut, Sneaking Around, Summer Romance, Vermont, YouTube, bon appetit test kitchen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:07:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 61,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24503596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuickedWeen/pseuds/QuickedWeen
Summary: TheBon AppétitYouTube channel has become an unexpected success partly due to the newest series developed by classically trained pastry chef Harry Styles who is intent on making the art of baking accessible to the masses. He and his best friend Louis Tomlinson have been with the magazine for years and they’re unused to the level of online fame they’ve suddenly achieved.It’s easy for Harry to brush it off and ignore it (despite the teasing they get around the test kitchen) because Louis is happily married and has been for years—since just before they met for the first time. Or, itwaseasy to brush it off, but at the beginning of the summer, just as they’re leading up to the stress of planning the annual holiday issue, Louis and his husband decide to file for divorce.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Sarah Jones/Mitch Rowland
Comments: 114
Kudos: 604
Collections: One Direction Big Bang Round 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First, I would like to thank the incredible [trailsofpaper](https://trailsofpaper.tumblr.com/) for her beautiful, expressive art that was definitely a guiding force as I finished this. It's incredible and you can find it on her page as well as embedded in the fic.
> 
> I tried to make this fic a mix of what you might find on the BATK YouTube channel and fiction. There's quite a bit that's real, and quite a bit that's made up!
> 
> Thank you so much to my amazing betas Nic and Sarah!!!!! They saved me.
> 
> This fic would not have been possible with out Sus and Emmu. I always say this, but they drag me kicking and screaming through, constantly lifting me up and supporting me. I'm also especially thankful this year for the Fat Bird chat as well. They started watching BA videos with me when it became clear that this was going to be my big bang for this year.
> 
>  **Regarding the real life Bon Appétit and Condé Nast:** This fic was written before the current controversy at the company. I 100% stand with the BIPOC members of the BATK that are standing for change and demanding both fair compensation and a shift in the culture of the magazine and their parent company. Please contact me if you would like more information.
> 
> None of the real life staff members are characters in this fic except one.
> 
> Please do not repost my work. I do not allow translations.

**Harry**

When Harry Styles went to culinary school in France, he had dreams of living like he was plopped down in the middle of _Chocolat._ Unfortunately, visas existed. And expired, eventually. And a student just out of culinary school didn’t have much by way of funds.

So, instead of a small French village, he landed in graduate school to get his masters degree in culinary history—funding included.

And when that was done, he finally needed a place to land. That place—for many chefs, Harry included—was New York City. 

Harry adored New York. After he returned from school, his mother and his sister put him on a train in Boston and he never looked back. Actually, that wasn’t true. He took the bus home all the time for the holidays and various celebrations, and basically any time he had an excuse because he loved his family. He didn’t regret moving, he really did love the city.

His first apartment was basically a commune in Brooklyn with seven other “young professionals” (mostly women, though it varied from month to month) where the rent was cheap, but the mice never really contributed their fair share, if he was being honest. He moved on quickly, not able to handle the politics of living with so many roommates, of both the two and four-legged variety. So he found a place with four roommates.

Finally, _finally_ , after a little less than a year just barely scraping by, he caught a break: _Bon Appétit_ was looking for a recipe tester.

Harry pulled out all of the stops in the interview process. Anything he could do to persuade the panel he did. He unearthed the most obscure facts he had learned about the history of the mille feuille from the French pastry semester in grad school, and he made them the weirdest possible pastry he could think of from only the most classic of boulangeries to prove that he had a depth of knowledge in technique _and_ had the capacity to learn more. He wanted them to know what they were getting with him, and make it so they couldn’t possibly choose anyone else.

Somehow, it worked. His mom had cried with excitement saying she had been carrying her aventurine—the “stone of opportunity”—around in her pocket with her the whole time he had been interviewing.

None of that, nothing Harry had ever learned, had prepared him for being curled up on his couch on the Upper West Side in his tiny little one bedroom with the cramped galley kitchen watching himself mix every flavor powder in the Bon Appétit Test Kitchen trying to imitate the flavor of Doritos—a flavor that he had learned took them fifty million dollars to develop.

He hated this part. Ever since the first video of him trying to reverse engineer a Twinkie had gone viral, he always got embarrassed watching himself played back. But, he was always curious to see what the viewing statistics were on release day. Most of the time the footage itself had been filmed a few weeks before, and it was nice to remind himself what had happened for when he inevitably got questions about it later, but it was also a little bit like watching back a bad dream.

He felt the phantom of the frustration all over again through the echo of time.

Harry’s phone vibrated against his thigh dragging him back from the edge of his own melodramatic thoughts.

 **Lou** **:** _Harold! The talent! How goes the high life?_

Harry smiled to himself and bit his lip as he reread the message a few times and readjusted himself in the corner of the couch so he could respond with both hands. Louis always called him that because of how popular his _Gourmet Pastry Chef Makes…_ show, “Gourmet Makes” for short, was and how many views it always guaranteed for Bon Appétit’s YouTube channel.

 **Harry:** _Stop it, Lou._

 **Lou:** _we know why they keep comin back_

Harry blushed in the privacy of his apartment where he knew he wouldn’t be teased for it, unless his walls could suddenly talk.

Louis Tomlinson, Bon Appétit Test Kitchen manager extraordinaire, was definitely Harry’s best friend at the magazine. Louis was already working there when Harry started six years earlier and they had clicked right away. Their friendship now went way beyond just work friends. Harry had totally called godfather for whenever Louis and his husband decided to adopt.

When Bon Appétit decided to get into alternative media and start a YouTube channel both Harry and Louis had been roped into it early. It didn’t take long for the higher ups to realize that the two of them were absolute gold on camera together, so their participation had only increased.

Now, they both had their own shows and participated in all of the videos. Over time, Harry’s hours in the test kitchen had decreased as he did more freelance work so he wasn’t “casually” in the background all that much. Being one of the kitchen managers was still Louis’ full time job still, and even with all of the traveling he did, he still was in the background of almost every video.

Sick of hearing his own voice, Harry put the video on mute and left it playing for another few minutes while he waited for the oven timer to go off. He was testing a shortbread recipe for his book that wouldn’t be out for at least another year and a half. Theoretically. There were days that he couldn’t believe all of this was real. He had his own Twitter hashtag that people used: #IWDFHFTBATK, or, “I would die for Harry from the Bon Appétit Test Kitchen.” 

Harry had done a couple late night cooking segments and the hosts loved to bring that one up.

For the most part, the internet scared Harry. He loved to use it in his own life, but what scared him was the corner of the internet that seemed to be fans of his, and it was tough to avoid them. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful-he was! But being in the limelight wasn’t something he was comfortable with very often.

If the video hadn’t been on mute, Harry might not have noticed Louis in the background, but he couldn’t help just watching him move around the kitchen for a little while. It felt weird spying on his friend that way, but it was up for millions of people to see, so it didn’t really feel like spying.

Harry watched as Louis went about his business, ignoring the way past Harry took up the majority of the screen time. 

Again, if it hadn’t been on mute he might not have noticed something as insignificant as Louis pulling his phone out of his pocket to check it in the background, but he did. He also noticed that whatever was on the screen made Louis’ brow furrow and his smile turn down at the corners for a flash of a second before he locked his phone and put it away without answering whoever it was.

Hmm. That was odd.

Doritos had been filmed weeks before, so if Harry asked him about it, Louis probably wouldn’t remember. Harry didn’t remember anything out of the ordinary with Louis while he was filming that one, but Harry was guilty of falling into a Gourmet Makes vortex when he filmed an episode, so he might not have noticed at the time.

Either way, Harry thought as he snapped his laptop shut, determined to put it away before he accidentally saw any of the comments about himself, he would have to remember to ask Louis about it the next time he went into the Test Kitchen. Check in on him. People should always check in on their friends, and it was a little bit weird to ask about over text messages. 

Monday morning, Harry got up and went for his normal run. He headed east until he hit Central Park where he picked up the running track around the reservoir for a couple of laps. Depending on the day, he did anywhere from two to four laps—two laps was about three miles. He liked running out there because it felt like he wasn’t in the city anymore. He could still see the skyline, sure, but there were enough trees that once he put his headphones in, it felt like he was floating above the city somehow.

That morning there was a video editorial meeting at One World Trade Center where the Test Kitchen was, so he only did two laps because he was particularly eager to get going. On his second time around, he left the path to use the jog back to his apartment as a cool down. Once he was home, he quickly hopped in the shower and got ready to head downtown.

Harry wasn’t late to the meeting, per se, he just naturally felt like he was in a rush to get there sometimes. Usually because of the subway, because it was the subway. 

The whole way downtown, he and Louis were texting about inane things. Because he didn’t get to the Test Kitchen as often anymore, he always needed Louis to catch him on the latest gossip. Louis tried to pretend he was above all the drama, but secretly he was a nosy old biddy at heart.

The closer and closer it got to the start of the meeting, the more teasing and alarmist Louis’ jokes got.

 **Lou** **:** _I don’t know if you’re gonna make it_

 **Lou** **:** _It’s going to be a photo finish here comin down the stretch_

Harry had hoped to sneak in with the crowd and take his place like he had been in the building and totally prepared the whole time. 

He should have known better.

“Ohhh!” Louis cried out. “Look who came to join us! Morning, Harold. How was the commute?”

Harry wanted to be annoyed. He really did. 

“Good morning, Louis,” he said by rote. He tried to pretend to roll his eyes, but he couldn’t help the laughter bubbling up in his chest.

Louis had a bright sunny smile on his face, his dark beanie slightly askew as he lifted his whole body up in a silly shuffle to drop himself down again a couple inches to the left, leaving just enough room for Harry to squeeze in next to him on the couch. They didn’t have any meeting rooms big enough for both the technical staff and chefs, so they always commandeered this awkward space that was probably meant to be a lounge in the original plans of the _Bon Appétit_ offices, but always sort of looked abandoned and out of place.

Until they took over en masse, that was.

They had tried to meet in the Test Kitchen. It was big, there was room for people to gather around, but the head of video, Steve, realized quickly early on that that was the fastest way to let people distract themselves and not actually pay attention to the meeting they were trying to have.

While everyone else was getting settled, Harry felt an elbow nudge into the side of his ribs.

“Morning,” Louis repeated, giving Harry a cheeky closed-mouth smile.

“How was the trip?” 

Despite texting all weekend about everything else that was going on, Harry hadn’t really asked Louis that in so many words. 

Louis traveled a bit more now than he ever had before. His show _It’s Alive_ had always been a Test Kitchen show like everyone else’s (except Niall’s, but he was always the exception), but they had developed a spin off called _It’s Alive: Going Places,_ and he had gone as far away as Ecuador before when he was learning about how chocolate was processed. 

This time it was just a farm in upstate New York, so not too far.

Louis leaned in and started telling Harry all about it. It had started out as a discreet side conversation, but soon Harry’s giggling was too much for Steve to ignore. He had to call them to order multiple times.

Harry had always been on the straight and narrow, never been the rowdy kid in school—he was sure Louis had been—but for some reason he never minded getting in trouble with Louis in meetings like this. He wasn’t sure why.

Once they were all under control and another side conversation had sprung up amongst a few other people, Harry leaned in again.

“Tyler happy to have you back?”

Tyler was Louis’ husband. They had been married for a few years by then, and Harry envied what they had. He had always considered himself to be somewhat of a romantic, and fairly domestic, so it was not a small part of him that craved being married. Or if not married, then settled down with someone in a serious relationship. It didn’t really seem in the cards for him at the moment, apparently.

Louis froze for the barest hint of a moment before nodding his head. “Yeah, yeah.”

He then pointedly turned back to actually pay attention to the meeting. That was odd.

Somewhat chastened, with a funny feeling in his gut, Harry turned back to the meeting as well. Just in time, too.

“Harry and Louis,” Steve called grandly, loud enough to get their attention. He seemed a little shocked they were already looking at him.

“Present!” Louis called, back to his jovial self.

A low laugh made its way through the staff, all used to Louis’ antics.

“We have an idea from the peanut gallery for _It’s Alive,_ ” Steve explained. It wasn’t unheard of for the head of video to pitch an idea, but usually it was the other way around.

Harry couldn’t help but interrupt, his whole body on high alert, skepticism seeping through since Steve had said his name as well. “Peanut gallery like YouTube comments? Or peanut gallery like the staff here?”

“Staff here,” Steve answered. “But, all we get are comments asking for more videos with the two of you.”

The whole meeting interrupted into murmurs of agreement and some wolf whistles. It was common knowledge that the internet loved to watch the best friends interact.

Still suspicious of Steve and the video team in general, Harry ignored the hubbub. “Did you have something in mind?”

“Doughnuts,” Steve responded. “But it’s _It’s Alive_ so we were thinking doughnuts with sourdough starter.”

“Yes!” Perrie—ever the doughnut hound—called from one of the other couches.

That was much less daunting than Harry thought their concept was going to end up being. He thought it through in his head for another minute, brain already cycling through his comfort with both sourdough and doughnuts. 

“...Alright,” he conceded, but he made sure to make a face at Steve and his co-conspirators, so they knew they were on thin ice.

Louis whooped and clapped his hands together with a resounding slap. “Harold says ‘alright,’ so that must mean we’re doin’ it.”

“I cannot wait for the thirst comments on this one already,” Niall Horan, the drinks editor, piped up from across the circle.

Thirst comments? “Thirst comments?” Harry asked. He had never heard of those before.

Niall barked out a laugh. “Oh, yeah. All the commenters that go wild over the two of you and how hot you are together.” He put air quotes around the last bit, and Harry was rapidly vacillating between being flattered by the comment and offended that Niall looked like he was saying it sarcastically.

The conversation moved on quickly to other ideas and updates, but Harry started to really digest what Niall said. It wasn’t anything new, he had heard it all before. People asked him all the time if he and Louis were together, but he always politely laughed and brushed them away saying they were just best friends.

If the general public bothered to dig into their lives at all—which was a can of worms Harry generally hated opening up—they could see very easily that Louis was married to Tyler. Now that they were semi-public figures, Louis tended to keep his Instagram mostly work-related, but the information was still out there on the internet.

But he still got the question and heard the whispers. It was ridiculous that in this day and age two gay men couldn’t be best friends without people speculating like that. Even at work it had become a joke like the noises everybody made when Steve first mentioned them working together.

It didn’t really make _Harry_ uncomfortable, but it had to be really weird for Louis and Tyler. Clearly their relationship was solid if they could handle stuff like that. Harry wasn’t sure how he would feel if he was in Tyler’s shoes. Louis was such a dynamic person, it was probably difficult to share him with the rest of the world.

“Earth to Harry?”

Harry snapped back to reality when Louis waved a hand in front of his face. Everyone else was already lifting up out of their seats and chatting amongst themselves as they made their way back to the kitchen or their cubicles.

“Yeah?”

No longer concerned, Louis’ smirk spread slowly across his face. “I said: do you want to have lunch today? I know you’re filming something else, but grab me at your break and we can plan.”

Right. Plan. For the video they were basically just assigned by the bosses. “Yeah, yeah. That’s great.”

Louis clapped his hand on Harry’s knee a couple times before leaning his full weight on his palm and using Harry’s thigh to lift himself up out of his seat.

“See you then, Harold. Lots to do, lots to do,” Louis called behind him as he left the meeting area.

When he couldn’t see Louis anymore he turned back to the window where Liam, his Gourmet Makes producing director slash slave driver, was standing waiting for him with an expectant look on his face.

Harry sighed heavily. “Yeah, yeah. I know.”

The whole reason Harry came in that day was to start his next episode of Gourmet Makes. Starburst. It should actually be a bit of a challenge, and as low-key as the first days usually were, he was already looking forward to his lunch with Louis as a nice way to break up the day.

Liam didn’t have to say anything, he just smiled maniacally and held the door open for Harry to leave with him.

Lots to do, indeed.

**Louis**

Days when Harry was filming Gourmet Makes episodes were always some of Louis’ favorite days in the Test Kitchen. There was something about the controlled chaos that he really loved, and it killed him when their schedules didn’t match up and he wasn’t around to lend a helping hand or pull Harry back from the edge. He and Harry had been colleagues for quite awhile, and with the advent of Bon Appétit’s YouTube channel, they really had only grown closer.

For all that Harry was a Very Serious Pastry Chef with a million degrees, he was also silly, and kind of a whiny brat when he didn’t want to do something. Louis loved watching it happen.

Louis hadn’t been kidding when he told Harry he had a lot to do that day. From the time they broke up their editorial meeting to the time he heard the clapperboard go as Harry filmed his intro in the background, Louis had been going non-stop.

They had just done a huge order of supplies, and while he wasn’t really a full time Test Kitchen manager anymore, he always helped Sarah when ten orders came in at once and it was too much for her to handle alone.

“Hey, everyone, I’m Harry, we’re here in the BA Test Kitchen and today, I’m making gourmet… Starburst!”

Louis smiled to himself as he kept one ear on the rest of Harry’s introduction. He couldn’t believe Harry made all of the amazing food he did. Louis wouldn’t even know where to start with half of the mass market foods he tried to make.

What he needed to do was stop listening, because he was trying to count metal clip things and keeping track of Harry was way too distracting. Louis would just put him out of his mind for now until Harry came to get him for lunch. Then, they could decide what they were going to do for their Sourdough episode.

The first time they tried to make sourdough together, first of all, everyone loved it. The start of them working together on camera had been in a video before that, but it was that bread episode that made their bosses realize they actually had something sellable.

That hadn’t even been the first time they attempted bread making, though. The two of them had tried to do the video and filmed it in its entirety before something happened, Louis couldn’t remember what exactly. So, they reshot, and the final video was great. Now, he was sure the fans were demanding more. He saw it himself in the comments section on their videos when he looked at them. 

Louis wasn’t super well-versed in making sourdough bread, he knew it was an “art,” but he only vaguely remembered some of the rules surrounding it. Harry was going to be leading this episode for the most part, so all Louis would need to do was test everything ahead of time.

Louis went about his business for the rest of the morning, getting a couple of orders in, stopping by his desk to answer emails, and spent some time trying to track down his phone after he lost it.

Well, “lost” was a strong word. He didn’t lose it, he just had a tendency to put it down and walk away from it. He hated being buried in it all the time, so he tried not to get too caught up in it.

His inability to respond and communicate with it was an issue. It upset his husband Tyler when he didn’t know where Louis was at all times. He wasn’t going to lie, it felt a little stifling some days. He stopped himself. That wasn’t an issue as much anymore.

By the time he located his phone, he could see that the crew was no longer actively filming behind bench one, and the counter top had been neatly arranged again. Louis smiled to himself. Harry’s habit of cleaning up behind himself was adorable. No matter what was going on in the midst of regular test kitchen chaos, he always quietly appeared with a rag to wipe something down so they had a clean station.

Most of the time, he never faulted anyone for making him clean up, he did it because he wanted the environment to be clean. But with Louis—who was naturally chaotic—he would always glare at him when he made a huge mess. It was incredible how unintimidating he was. Like an angry puppy.

At that moment, Harry appeared in the doorway behind bench one that led to the other studio space and the break table. He was standing in his light, spring blouse with his giant salad bowl in one hand as he casually texted with the other hand, completely oblivious to the world around him. The world being the crew going back and forth with cameras and boom equipment with the intention of putting it away so they could take their own lunch breaks.

“Ready, H?”

Harry’s gaze snapped up and his pretty green doe eyes focused on Louis as though he was coming out of a dream. His lips were bitten pink from earlier when he had been concentrating, and probably tasting some strawberry syrup.

“Yeah,” he said curtly. “Let me just finish this thing,” he added, dipping his gaze back down to his phone.

After being friends for so long, Louis knew how Harry operated. He wasn’t annoyed with Louis—that was an entirely different tone and level of concentration—he was simply oversaturated enough that he needed to completely finish one task before starting the next in order to free up his attention. Louis had seen it time and time again on Gourmet Makes filming days.

While Harry finished his “thing” Louis went and grabbed his own lunch from the staff fridge. There was no staff lunch fridge quite like the Bon Appétit fridge. Inside, each meal was either meticulously crafted, or left over junk food from past Gourmet Makes episodes. There was no inbetween. 

Louis himself had a salmon filet from one of Jesy and Perrie’s “Healthyish” episodes and some chickpea salad thing that Shawn was experimenting with the other day. Pretty good pickin’s if he did say so himself.

He lifted the lid off the plastic container and turned around to the staff table. Harry was still standing in the doorway with his nose pressed to his phone, so Louis let out a little whistle between his teeth.

“Let’s go, Styles! We don’t got all day.”

Harry startled again but kept typing as he turned around to walk towards Louis’ voice. Liam almost brained him with a camera, but other than that he arrived unscathed.

Finally, Harry locked the screen before putting his phone face down on the table forcefully.

“Okay. Ready.”

“Yeah?” 

Harry nodded as he stirred his salad again to catch the dressing that had settled a bit while he waited.

“So,” Louis started. “How’s Starburst so far?”

Harry glared at him as he stuffed a big bite of green in his mouth. Louis couldn’t help but laugh before changing the subject.

“Alright, alright. Sourdoooughnuts.”

“Sourdough donuts.” Harry tried to be defiant, but he still had a mouthful of salad.

“Right. What do you got for me?”

Harry lifted his phone again to pull up the recipe he said he had found earlier, and they began to plan out the video and what they would need to do for it. They spent their lunch piecing their filming schedules together to give them the time they would need for Louis to test it out a few times before Harry came back the following week.

Sourdough took time and care with lots of proving time so they had to be deliberate in how they fit their time in with Harry’s Starburst schedule.

Their planning quickly devolved into them just sitting there spending their breaks together as most of their conversations did. 

It was odd, Louis thought to himself, that it was clear they weren’t really working but no one approached them. The test kitchen was collaborative by nature and the staff was always milling around getting into everyone else’s business. Plenty of people had walked by to get their lunches because it was lunch time, but no one had stopped to sit with them.

Louis was struck by the thought, even more so because of what Niall had said in the staff meeting about people thinking they were “hot together.” 

It was amazing to him that people really thought that. He tried to keep his personal life pretty private, and he knew Harry did too, but he also thought it was common knowledge that he was married.

The opinions of people on the internet didn’t really matter to him. They didn’t. He just never wanted Harry to be uncomfortable with him, he couldn’t bear it if Harry pulled away from him, he was one of Louis’ best friends.

Also Tyler, Louis thought, kicking himself. Obviously he hadn’t ever wanted his husband to be uncomfortable with the two of them hanging out together outside of work. 

Louis wasn’t sure Tyler had ever spent much time thinking about YouTube comments. It couldn’t have been part of what led them to where they were now. He had always turned his nose up at the fermentation projects Louis did at home, so he didn’t pay much attention to the videos that went up on the channel where Louis was featured, or the channel in general.

Tyler had loved coming to all of the work functions, though. He had enjoyed getting dressed up and coming downtown to the fancy Condé Nast parties. Meanwhile, Louis and his fellow BA chefs always felt a little out of place when they were asked to attend the parties instead of cater them. 

Louis watched the way the bright, midday sun bounced off the nearby buildings and caught the little baby curls that had escaped Harry’s bun. There was a dot of dressing on his lip as he took a big crunching bite of his salad and scrolled on his phone trying to find that one thing he wanted to show Louis from the week before. His apron was covered in little tiny dots of bright red of syrup, like maybe he had turned the mixer on too quickly and it had sprayed back on him. There was a big patch of a mysterious white powder near where the counter would hit him, and a couple little tears in the worn linen fabric.

No, despite the fact that they were now separated, Louis didn’t think Harry had anything to do with it or that Tyler had ever wasted his time seeing Harry and Louis’ relationship as a threat. Harry wasn’t glamorous enough to be on Tyler’s radar.

And they were. Separated. 

Barely anyone around the office knew. They had recently decided to take the final step and file for divorce, something that was much easier for Louis to ignore when he was away on location. That part—Louis being away all the time—definitely _was_ a factor in their separation. Tyler had made that very clear.

Everything he said when they finally sat down and talked about it made sense. He didn’t feel like they were “married” anymore, they felt more like roommates. For Louis, it was tough admitting to himself that he had failed at seeing the signs better. He and Tyler had just been so comfortable together, and Louis’ life had gotten so much busier, so it was easy to ignore the little things.

Tyler, too, spent a lot more time at his midtown office as he continued to further his career in copy editing at the _New York Times._ Sometimes they managed to commute home together, but those trips had gotten less and less frequent as the days went on until it barely ever happened.

Now, it never happened. Louis had been staying with Zayn for the last month since their initial separation, and was hoping to find a new apartment soon. Zayn said he didn’t mind, but Louis missed having his own space. He had to go to the lawyer’s office in the morning on his way to work to actually file for divorce the next day, and that seemed as good a starting point as any for his new life.

Niall finally came over and sat down at the table, jolting Louis out of his head and into the present.

At least this was something steady in Louis’ life, a talisman to help him feel like his world wasn’t falling apart completely. Work. The test kitchen and it’s constant hum of activity. Recipes needed to be developed and tested, videos needed to be filmed, magazines needed to be printed.

Soon, Liam was coming over to flag Harry down so they could get back to filming on Starbursts and Harry was sending him his very strict instructions for the recipe reminding him of everything they had talked about at the beginning of the break.

“I got it, I got it. Promise, Harold.” 

Harry opened his mouth to protest one more time, but all Louis did was take his salad bowl so he could wash it before turning him around and sending into Liam’s waiting arms for more filming.

“But I have to wash that!” Harry protested over his shoulder

“I got it!” Louis called out, drowning him out. Harry needed to learn how to accept other people doing something nice for him for once. 

Later that day, Zayn came to save Louis from the walk-in when it was time to go home. They were heading out a few minutes early that afternoon because it was beautiful out, and they had gotten a lot done. They deserved a reward. Especially given what Louis had to do the next morning.

One of their suppliers had sent in some amazing rib racks, so they were going to take them home and grill them nice and slow.

As Louis was gathering up his stuff, something caught his eye next to his bag in his cubicle—that he barely sat in at all.

He had totally forgotten that he had picked up a present for Harry when he was upstate filming. There was an old fashioned general store that sold local goods, and one of the men in town was a skilled woodworker who crafted beautiful french rolling pins. If anyone in Louis’ life would appreciate one, it was Harry the pastry chef.

Louis checked his phone. It was almost four, so Harry was probably still filming. Zayn was across the bullpen chatting with Niall, so Louis got his attention and signalled that he was going to run back to the test kitchen.

When he got to the kitchen, he paused in the doorway. He really needed to go home, didn’t want to keep Zayn waiting, but Harry was clearly busy in the middle of something. It had never stopped him before, he knew, but everything Niall had said had gotten in his head earlier. Louis knew what it would look like when he gave Harry a gift like this on camera.

This was ridiculous, he had never let people’s opinion dictate what he had done ever before, there was no reason for him to start now.

Louis approached bench one from behind, swinging the rolling pin back and forth as he made his way down the line of ovens along the side of the kitchen. He hadn’t wrapped it or anything. Hadn’t thought about it that much.

“Hey, Harold.”

Harry looked like he was pulling taffy, and Louis stopped to truly take in the ridiculous scene in front of him. There were globs of white taffy in his hands and every time he pulled his hands apart almost all of it stayed stuck to his skin and very little of it actually pulled. The difficulty of his task was clear from his damp brow and huffed out breath. There was an extra burden to his movements too that showed the extra exertion.

“Louis!” Harry’s eyes lit up and he faced Louis as he continued to pull his hands apart in front of him. Liam looked a little exasperated at Louis’ interruption, but didn’t say anything.

“I got you a little something on my trip,” Louis said as he placed the cherry wood rolling pin down in front of him on the bench so he could see it, but far enough back that it wasn’t in his way.

“Oh my God,” Harry cooed. “Louis! Thank you.”

“It’s handmade. Cherry. By one of the guys up there.”

Harry kept pulling the taffy as he continued to gush. “What a perfect gift, you know me so well!”

Louis was starting to get a bit embarrassed by the praise but that didn’t come anywhere close to the smug satisfaction he felt at being able to pick out something so “perfect” for him.

“Alright, I got to go, but I wanted to make sure you got that. I don’t know, maybe it can help all this.” He gestured to the benchtop with Harry’s various experiments scattered around. 

Harry finally stopped pulling and started the arduous process of getting all of the sticky stuff off his hands. “Wait, you’re leaving? Now?”

“Yeah, Zayn’s waiting for me in the office. We’re going to grill up some ribs tonight. Low and slow,” he drew out, trying to get Harry to laugh again. He loved messing with him when he was on camera.

Harry made a face at him. “You and Zayn sure are attached at the hip lately… I mean more than usual.” 

Zayn was Louis’ best friend and producer so it wasn’t that surprising, and Louis didn’t think Harry meant anything by the comment. But Harry was also right. Louis and Zayn were spending more time together because Louis was living with him. Somehow Louis thought that rumors and gossip would spread enough that the few people who _did_ know that he had moved out of his and Tyler’s house—namely, Niall—would manage to get the word to Harry.

Apparently not. Harry really did know nothing about his situation.

Guilt gnawed at Louis. Harry was one of his best friends. There was no reason for him not to know. He _should_ know. Louis wanted to be able to talk to him about it.

But now, on camera, was definitely not the time. Louis needed to play it off.

“You know me and Zaynie. Can’t do nothing without each other.” He looked up at the camera that he could feel being trained on him and gave it a little wink before pushing himself off the bench.

Harry was pulling the last little bits of taffy off his long, deft fingers. “Ooh, wait. Before you go. Taste one thing for me?”

Zayn was probably still standing there waiting for him.

“Sure, hit me.”

Harry reached for a spoon and lifted a piece of plastic wrap off a small metal mixing bowl before dipping into it and pulling out a liquid that looked a little like cough syrup. “I made my own strawberry flavoring. What do you think?”

He held the spoon up in front of Louis for him to taste, and Louis didn’t think anything of it before leaning in and taking what he was given.

A burst of strawberry flavor hit his tongue, but not the sickly sweet sort of syrup found in most commercial candies. This tasted like the juiciest strawberry he had ever eaten.

“Mm, good one Harold.”

“You like it?”

Louis nodded trying to think of a way to explain it. “That tastes like… You know when you have a summer barbeque? Fire pit goin’, kids running around in the field, and there’s like a big platter of fruit that sits out for dessert and you get a sprinkle of sugar on top so it starts macerating and sitting in it’s own juice.” He stopped himself before he got hungry again. “Ugh, that’s the best.”

Harry’s eyes were sparkling and his smile was so wide it spread across his whole face, so Louis figured he had done something else right. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he turned back to the bowl, pulling the plastic wrap across the top again and said, “Yeah, yeah. Those are so yummy.”

Harry always seemed to follow what Louis was trying to say, no matter what. 

Louis put his hand on Harry’s shoulder and squeezed as he passed behind him to head back out of the kitchen.

“Have a good night, Harry.”

“You too, Lou.”

As Louis made his way out he could hear Harry say something else about how he was happy with the syrup now and would use it in the next test.

Louis was excited about how well received his gift was too. Harry was one of the best gift givers there ever was, so for him to genuinely go on about something Louis had picked out felt incredible, he couldn’t deny it. 

Seeing Harry was a good choice, it was the last little hit of happiness he needed to uplift him on his way out. He was going to need it the next day.

All in all the filing was quick. Louis sat across a small table in their lawyer’s office watching Tyler sign the joint petition.

Because they had decided to use a lawyer, it would cost a little extra money in fees but he would take care of all of it for them. Everything would be split down the middle—they had maintained their independence for the most part—and Tyler would keep the apartment.

Nothing about the situation was _good_ for Louis; he was still wrapping his mind around the whole process. But he didn’t mind having to move out, really. It was a way for him to make a clean break and he would have hated going home every day to the omnipresent ghost of their marriage.

Tyler put the pen down and straightened his back in his chair. “So, that’s that, then?”

His gaze lifted up to Louis, and something about the gesture set his teeth on edge.

Throughout their relationship one of Louis’ biggest pet peeves had been Tyler looking to Louis to make whatever decision he needed to make at the time. In general Louis didn’t mind being decisive, but Tyler had almost always already made the decision in his head. Everything was fine if Louis chose correctly, but if he didn’t the tension would rise or he would hear about it a few hours later. Louis felt like he was being tested every time.

Now, it was ten times worse. They were sitting there in the lawyer’s office because of Tyler. Tyler had made his decision on his own and chosen to excise Louis from his life. He couldn’t do that and then turn around and look to Louis for guidance.

Louis was determined to stay calm and collected, but in reality he wanted to rip his hair out.

“I think so,” he said looking to Will, their lawyer. Will and Louis had been friendly in high school, but not really friends, and ended up connecting later in life when they both moved to the city. When Louis and Tyler got married and they needed help sorting everything out, he was the first person Louis thought of to help.

Will nodded and took the papers. “That’s it.” The rest of the paperwork would be taken care of and filed through Will. 

Louis and Tyler both said goodbye to Will and left the offices together. The elevator ride from the fortieth floor had never felt longer.

He could have fallen to his knees and kissed the ground when his phone buzzed in his pocket. The message was from Niall in a group chat that included Zayn.

 **Niall** : _SOS_

“Is that Zayn?” Tyler asked, cutting through Louis’ anxiety at the cry for help.

“No, actually. Niall.”

“Ah,” Tyler nodded before crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

The awkwardness made Louis forget Niall’s distress for a moment. How had they gotten to this place? They used to be intimate with each other. Louis had confessed some of his deepest, darkest secrets to Tyler, and now they could barely piece together the threads of a conversation.

The phone in his hand vibrated again, lighting up the screen with a notification.

 **Zayn** : _whats up?_

Zayn could handle it, whatever it was. 

Louis checked the time on the lockscreen. He would be with Zayn in twenty minutes anyway, depending on how long it took him to get downtown.

He opened his mouth to try and say something, anything to Tyler, but it was hard to rely on awkward small talk with someone you had just signed away. It would take a few weeks before they were officially divorced, but still.

_Buzz-Buzz._

**Niall** : _Did Harry not know about Louis and Tyler?_

Shit.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened on the first floor, so Louis knew he was going to have to say goodbye to Tyler. He couldn’t handle both issues at the same time, so he had to hope Zayn really could answer Niall.

Louis tried again to say something. “Tyler—”

“Look, Louis,” Tyler interrupted him. “I know this is weird, and I’m sorry everything worked out this way.”

Louis bit his tongue to keep himself from asking why he chose to do it, then.

“I just think, all things considered, I expected you to fight for us a bit more.”

Tyler was looking at him with large, expectant eyes as though that was Louis’ cue to fall to his knees on the marble floor in the lobby of this random skyscraper and beg for Tyler to take him back.

Expected _Louis_ to fight a bit more? Relationships were a two-way street.

No matter what he wanted to say, Louis wanted to remain amicable with Tyler, he really did. So all he did was shrug his shoulders.

“You told me you wanted out, and I would never keep you trapped when you were unhappy.”

Tyler pursed his lips and nodded. “Well, there you go.”

The awkwardness was back with a vengeance. Had it ever really left?

Louis sighed. “I’ve got to get to work.” He didn’t, he was late meeting Zayn. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Tyler’s cheek. “See you later.”

He pushed through the glass doors out onto the loud, bustling streets of midtown and didn’t look back.

On the subway platform he finally checked his phone again.

 **Zayn** : _meet at aroma now? lou on his way_

 **Niall** : _Sure_

He locked the screen again letting his phone slide back into his pocket and leaning his head back on his shoulders.

Next crisis.

Harry somehow found out about his and Tyler’s separation. Zayn was the only person who knew about the actual filing, so Niall probably hadn’t spilled the beans about that yet. 

Because it was still so early in the day, Niall had probably told Harry the night before, which meant that Harry had known for a while now. Louis wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Harry was one of his best friends, and Louis wanted him to know, but the more people found out the more it was beginning to feel like Louis failed at something.

He wasn’t big on shame, and for the most part embarrassment tended to roll right off his back, but for some reason Harry in particular finding out was dredging these feelings up.

The train came to a grinding halt and he followed the masses that were flowing up from underground. Aroma was a few blocks away and when he got there, Zayn and Niall had both already ordered. 

Niall was the drinks editor for the magazine, so Louis didn’t even want to think about what his coffee order was—it was never the same thing twice—but he just wanted a big black coffee. He was going to need it to get through this day.

The coffee there was good, single origin, flavorful.

Louis dropped his backpack over the back of the chair, hanging by one strap. “So, what happened?”

On any normal day, Zayn would have made fun of him for the abrupt greeting, but he knew what today was.

Niall took a savoring sip of his drink. “After everybody left, it was just me and Harry and he was wrapping up a few things on Starburst. I don’t remember how it came up, but we were talking about the two of you going home and grilling because we were both jealous. How was it by the way?”

“Excellent,” Zayn interrupted.

“Nice,” Niall nodded. “Anyway. I made a comment about how good you guys must be eating now that you’re both living together.”

Louis sighed. Again, it wasn’t that he didn’t want Harry to know. There was just something about it being Harry. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but he knew his heart was in his throat and his coffee had turned to ash when it hit his tongue.

He guessed he had just hoped to be able to tell Harry himself on his own terms which was harder and harder when Harry didn’t come into the test kitchen to film anywhere near as often anymore.

“What did he say?” Harry was hard to read sometimes, but maybe if Niall could tell, Louis could figure out how to broach the subject with him.

“Not much. He was surprised, for sure. He asked for some details but also said he didn’t want to pry. I kept it sort of vague. I think he was more surprised that you hadn’t told him yourself.”

That was what Louis was afraid of when he heard the news.

“Thanks, Ni.” Louis clapped him on the back, but didn’t know what else to say. Thankfully both of them knew he wanted to move on, so Zayn changed the subject to that day’s filming.

Once again, he wasn’t supposed to see Harry in person for another week, and when he did come in they were going to have a packed schedule of filming between Harry’s Starburst episode and their episode of _It’s Alive._

He was definitely going to need to talk to Harry before that if he didn’t want it to be awkward between the two of them, which he didn’t.

Being separated or getting divorced was starting to feel like coming out. Coming out never just happened once, it happened thousands times whenever he met someone new. That was a pretty universal experience, he figured, and it was what was beginning to happen with the break up of his marriage.

Now that they had filed, there was no reason to keep wearing his wedding ring. He could take it off as a symbol of his newly single status. The only problem was, he was a chef. He barely ever wore the thing anyway because he had to take it off every time he got his hands dirty, but at least it was a start.

The three of them packed up and made their way back to the One World Trade Center and the Bon Appétit offices. Louis stood at his desk to drop off his stuff and very subtly slipped his ring off his ring finger and into one of the side pockets. 

Nobody would notice, it wasn’t anything new, but it felt different to him and he supposed that was all that mattered.

All day, Louis waited for the shoe to drop, waited for Harry to break his silence and ask him why he hadn’t told him about the separation. 

His phone was silent. 

The day was pretty busy, so it was easy for him to forget about it and ignore it for the most part, but on all his breaks he found himself reaching for his phone, which was very much unlike him. 

Finally, as Zayn fell asleep on the train next to him, Louis caved.

 **Louis** : _How ya doin, Harold?_

 **Harold** : _I’m alright._

Yeah, Harry was upset with him.

 **Louis** : _heard you talked to Niall yesterday_

 **Harold** : _I did._

 **Louis** : _wanna talk about it?_

 **Harold** : _Sure._

 **Louis** : _we’re underground now. FaceTime tonight?_

 **Harold** : _Okay. I’m here, call whenever._

Even though it had been Louis’ idea to Facetime Harry, he found himself dragging his feet when they got back to Zayn’s apartment. Initially, he wanted to explain the situation to Harry, and Louis might be oblivious on occasion, but even he could tell Harry was really upset with him. Beyond just joking around.

Zayn threw a couple of quesadillas on the griddle for them, and Louis took his into the spare room. Calling it a bedroom was generous, it was really more like an extra large closet that could fit a twin bed if only to provide more floor space. Louis had made it into a home, as temporary as it was. Most of his stuff was in storage waiting for him when he found a new place. In the meantime, he paid Zayn in utilities and food.

He sat up on the bed with his back against the wall and his feet hanging off the edge of the mattress as he reached for the quesadilla and took a hot, oozy bite.

Avoiding calling as long as he could, he continued to munch happily as he checked the rest of his messages.

Finally, he tapped Harry’s name.

It rang a few times before Harry picked up.

“Hi, Lou.” He had a fluffy light purple bathrobe on and a plastic clippy thing holding his wet hair off his face.

“Hiya,” Louis replied. They had FaceTimed like this plenty of times before. Usually it was Louis calling Harry from the test kitchen if he had a question or needed to find something he had cleaned up. It was just easier to see his face when he called than to just call him and switch halfway through.

Louis hesitated. “So, I heard you talked to Niall.”

Harry scrunched his face up and looked up off camera. “You said that already.”

Never one to beat around the bush, Louis just went for it. “What’s the matter, Harold. Why are you pissed at me?”

“I’m not mad at you,” Harry answered quickly. Too quickly.

Louis refused to continue until Harry gave him a straight answer, and Harry shifted uncomfortably and sighed.

“Look,” Harry said softly after a few moments. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“Alright.” Louis stopped to collect his thoughts as he tried to find a thread to pull that would bring him to the beginning of the story. “We had been having problems for a while, but I was too oblivious to see them.”

“That’s not true,” Harry said immediately, jumping to Louis’ defense, even while he was still clearly upset.

“How do you know, Harold, if you don’t even know the story yet?”

“Fine. Continue.”

Louis cleared his throat. “Well, Tyler felt as though we were sort of living separate lives, but together.”

Harry hummed in agreement but didn’t interrupt again.

“It was true, for the most part. I didn’t go with him to hang out with his friends, he only came to a few work things. I guess I just didn’t have a problem with it before he started pointing it out.”

Louis hesitated again. “We sort of jumped right into a trial separation.”

“You didn’t try any counseling or anything like that?” Harry asked.

Pulling his beanie from work off his head, Louis ran his fingers through his hair. “No, I mean. If he wasn’t happy, he wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to force him into staying or anything.”

Harry grimaced. His reaction combined with how Tyler reacted earlier made Louis defensive. 

“Why is that not okay? He said something this morning that made me think he had a different goal in mind but I was just trying to do what he wanted.”

“You saw him today?” Harry asked, his eyebrows raising towards his hairline.

Not wanting to tackle _that_ just yet, Louis dismissed him. “I’ll tell you that part later.”

Harry relented. “Okay, well, I think jumping into a separation might have been premature. I’ve never been married before, but it feels like you should do a bit more before breaking up a marriage. If you really love someone you fight to not let them go. I think. I mean, I’ve never been married before.”

“I mean I love him, I do. But, because I love him, I didn’t want him to be unhappy being stuck with me.”

“Hey, hey. No one could ever just be ‘stuck’ with you,” Harry chastised. 

Louis could feel the burgeoning smile. “Thanks, Harold.”

“So, why did you see Tyler this morning.”

Louis sighed again. “Well, the trial separation had been going on for about two months. Tyler decided he wanted to file.”

“For divorce?” Harry cried.

“Yeah. We did the paperwork this morning.”

Harry covered his mouth with his hand as he watched Louis on his screen. “Oh my God. Two months?”

“Just about. After a pretty lackluster Valentine’s Day.”

The other end of the line went quiet and Louis could see Harry deflate.

“What’s wrong, Harold? I’m pretty sure this is my problem, not yours,” he added, trying to make him laugh.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Lou?”

Louis froze. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, why didn’t you tell me any of this was going on?”

“What could you have done?” Louis asked, and immediately regretted it. 

Harry’s brow clouded over. “What could I have _done_? I don’t know. Listened? Been there for you? Made you some fucking cookies?”

“You were, though. You _are_ always there to talk to when I need it.”

Harry floundered for a minute. “Yeah, of course. But clearly you didn’t trust me enough to talk to me about this big important thing.”

“Hey, woah. Harry. No. It’s not that I didn’t trust you. Not at all. It was just…” He didn’t know how to articulate it. “It was a lot to deal with, this big _thing_ hanging over my head. Coming in and having something else to talk about, or someone who didn’t know about my failed marriage was nice.”

Harry fell quiet. “I mean, sure. If that’s what you want. But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“Yeah, Harold. I know. I promise.”

“Alright.”

The conversation died, and Harry heaved a sigh. “So, are you going to start testing the sourdough brioche tomorrow for the doughnuts?”

Louis nodded and dug around for the loose sheet of paper with Harry’s notes. “Yep. Got the info right here.”

“Good. Let me know how it goes.”

“I will.” Louis caught Harry stifling a huge yawn. “Hey, you look beat. Don’t let me keep you up any longer.” 

Harry shook his head and his loose curls danced around his face. “No, no. I’m awake. This is important.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

Finally relenting, Harry shrugged his robe up closer around his shoulders. “Goodnight, Lou.”

“Night, Harold.”

Louis clicked the end call button and his home screen lit up burning his retinas. It had gotten darker outside as he talked to Harry, so there was no more light coming in through the tiny little porthole window. 

He took an extra few minutes and changed out of his work clothes before he went out to join Zayn in the living room. Zayn had a joint lit, but Louis didn’t like to smoke during the week because he always still felt sluggish the next morning.

There was an episode of _The Office_ already playing, and Louis had seen the series enough that he didn’t need to watch in any order, so he plopped down on the couch next to him and propped his feet up.

“Talk to Harry?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah.” Louis rubbed his face with his hands, starting to feel as tired as Harry had looked at the end of their call.

“How’d it go?”

Louis shrugged. Thankfully, Zayn knew him well enough to leave him alone while he thought it out.

The truth was, Louis’ brain was fried. Between everything with Tyler in the morning, and Harry being upset with him, the day had taken an emotional toll on Harry and his well-being.

Filing for divorce was easy to compartmentalize because it wouldn’t be relevant again for another forty-five days when it was final.

Louis’ complicated reaction to Harry was a lot harder to shove in a box and ignore, but he had a week before Harry would be back in the test kitchen to film with him, so at least he had time to try.

The next week, Louis and Zayn were up and out the door as soon as they could get their act together. They had a long day of filming ahead of them, and they liked to get into the kitchen early anyway. 

Louis liked to do it because he was still a test kitchen manager and he had a bunch of orders he wanted to sort out before he did any filming.

It was his first day filming with Harry on their sourdoughnut project, and Harry was also filming more of his Starburst episode. Over the past week he had been testing and perfecting their brioche dough and serving the whole kitchen batch after batch of perfectly formed doughnuts.

He and Harry had been texting back and forth a lot too, and Louis was pretty certain they were past whatever had been upsetting Harry the week before, so it wouldn’t be awkward at all when he came in to film.

They were ready.

The next morning, the day they were set to start filming, Louis texted Harry to ask if he wanted him to pick up breakfast.

 **Harold** : _I’m okay_

 **Louis** : _no iced coffee?_

Harry was Louis’ best friend. Louis knew he definitely was going to want some iced coffee.

 **Harold** : _I can get some_

 **Louis** : _don’t worry about it harold I’ll get some and it’ll be here waiting for you_

 **Harold** : _Are you sure?_

 **Louis** : _wouldn’t have asked if i wasn’t_

 **Harold** : _Thanks, Lou_

“Hey, Zayn, we got to stop at Aroma on the way in.”

Zayn slowly blinked at him as he opened his eyes—he was one of those annoying people that fell back asleep on the train and somehow managed to wake up for his stop every time.

“Why?”

“Got to get some coffee,” Louis replied hoping he was sleepy enough that he didn’t call out the fact that they had already had coffee that morning.

“But we had coffee at home.”

Louis really hadn’t wanted to put his desire to do something nice for Harry under a microscope. With all of the weirdness the week before and the fact that they were both filming together and seeing each other in person for the first time since then, he just wanted Harry to be happy and be a good friend.

“I want some more.”

Zayn shrugged and let his eyes drift shut again without questioning it. In fact, he went along with it all the way through Louis’s order of a small black coffee. It wasn’t until Louis ordered a large iced coffee with extra cream and no sugar that Zayn began to suspect him.

“You could have just said you wanted to get a coffee for Harry.”

This time, Louis shrugged.

Zayn let the subject drop because he was a good friend, but Louis could feel the silent, questioning look. 

Louis knew Harry had a 9 o’clock call time, but he also knew Harry was Harry, so he didn’t sweat getting to the test kitchen at ten of nine.

His assumption that Harry would bustle in right at nine was correct. When he held out the large coffee that was dripping with condensation, Harry looked at him like he was the second coming.

“Oh my God, Aroma! I love you,” Harry sighed as he took a big gulp. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheek when he closed his eyes to savor the taste. Louis listened, he knew that Harry thought Aroma had the best iced coffee around.

“Big day, Harold.”

Harry just smiled at him as Liam fiddled with his microphone and someone else loaded the counter up with all of his ingredients for Starburst.

“It’ll be crazy. We’re on for two, though?” That was after Harry’s lunch break when they would film the opening of their sourdoughnuts segment. 

“Yep. I’ll see you then,” Louis backed away from bench one as he headed towards the walk-in. “Godspeed, Harold!”

Liam started to call for the clapboard, and Louis could hear them starting to film. Louis would definitely go back to check on him later to see where he was in the process even before they were set to film their own video. The powers-that-be liked it when he made cameos in Harry’s videos, but Liam always gave him dirty looks if he felt as though Louis wasn’t leaving Harry enough time alone to actually get anything done.

Louis couldn’t help it, though. Whenever he was around Harry there was this instinct that settled deep in his gut. No one had asked, and it wasn’t anything he would share, but in his head he identified it as his “twelve-year-old boy syndrome.” Because when it took over all he wanted to do was pull Harry’s metaphorical pigtails and tease him and make him laugh so hard he bent over and couldn’t breathe.

Something about Harry just made Louis want to mess with him. It was part of the reason they became such good friends; Louis wanted to be around Harry and clown around, and Harry loved it, indulging him by giggling at even the stupidest things Louis said.

He only ever felt uncomfortable about it when someone clearly called him out. Like Liam with his dirty looks. So, to avoid temptation, he tried to limit how many times he walked by in the background or interrupted when Harry was filming.

  
When it was finally time for them to start filming, everything was a little chaotic. Harry had finished his lunch and mellowed out a bit more in time to film the introduction of their sourdoughnut video.

They set up with Zayn at the helm, because it was technically an episode of _It’s Alive,_ and by the time the clapper came down, Harry was still a little tense, so Louis improvised. He had a knack for pulling him out of his own head.

So he turned to the camera.

“Hey guys, today on _It’s Alive,_ we’re here with the lovely Harry Styles, Half-Sour himself.” He paused for a second as he watched Harry process what he had said. “Ooh, that sounded good.”

Harry just barely contained his laughter next to him as he turned his body to face Louis more than the camera. That was more like it.

“Yeah, today we’re going to be making a little sourdoooooughnuts.” 

With Harry successfully relaxed, Louis went on to explain the difference in using a sourdough starter instead of commercial yeast.

“And then, they’re sourdooooughnuts. Right?” He turned to Harry for confirmation, and he saw the indulgent expression on his face.

“Sourdough doughnuts,” Harry explained.

“Sourdoooooughnuts.” As subtly as he could, Louis winked at Harry who blushed and shook his head at Louis’ antics as Zayn called cut.

For the life of him Louis couldn’t remember why they didn’t film together all the time, this was going to be fun.

They combined the ingredients and continued to let the dough mix as they bantered back and forth between themselves. They were talking so much shit and their conversation was so all over the place that Louis kept expecting Zayn to cut them off but he never did.

Totally lost in their conversation, Louis even turned the mixer off at one point when Harry said he didn’t know how to drive a manual car and that he barely drove at all because he lived in the city. 

Eventually, they got back on track and kneaded the dough enough that they could put it away and let it rest. For the rest of the day they just needed to keep an eye on the dough and turn it a few times. Because Harry had to finish filming Starbursts, that was Louis’ responsibility.

Louis had done a few test runs when Harry was out of the test kitchen where he hadn’t quite remembered all of the details of Harry’s turning technique so he might have made up his own.

He was all set to do it again when he pulled the dough out of the walk in and brought it to the window. Zayn was following him with the camera, but they couldn’t use bench one because Harry was using it.

Louis was explaining what he was doing as he lifted the lid off the container and got his hands underneath the giant sticky blob of dough.

“Lou, what did you do?” Harry called to him from across the kitchen.

“What? I did a turn.”

Harry was laughing incredulously as a spoon with hot sugar dripping off it dangled in his hand and his own cameraman, Kevin, began swinging back and forth across the kitchen. “Why does it look so weird?”

Louis looked down at the dough lump with rippling folds. That probably wasn’t how it was supposed to look, was it?

“Well, I had some difficulties, Harold.” Harry came over and looked down into the container. “We were just talking about how pretty yours was, it looked beautiful.”

Harry continued to explain what the end result was supposed to look like as he rushed back over to the hot sugar on the stove. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Louis saw Zayn and Kevin exchange high fives while filming each other.

It was turning into a circus as they simultaneously filmed both _It’s Alive_ and _Gourmet Makes_ at once.

Louis dug his hands back down into the container only for Harry to stop him again. 

“Louis, _what_ are you doing?” Harry could barely get the words out around his laughter.

Louis didn’t know what else to do to fix it so he turned around to plead for help. “I don’t know!”

Harry was doubled over, still stirring his sugar. “Just leave it, you’re done.”

“I’m done?” Please let him be done. 

“You’re done.” Harry dabbed at the corners of his eyes with his wrist to wipe away his tears from laughing.

Louis turned to Zayn and spoke to the camera. “You know, we’ll just try again in another hour.”

Over by the stove Harry snorted and giggled again. Louis had to keep it together to try and wrap this section up, and he barely managed to not laugh until Zayn called cut.

Harry was still filming and Liam was starting to give him dirty looks again—Louis was surprised he had lasted this long—so they couldn’t really stop and laugh about what chaos that had been, but he needed to come back in another hour anyway to do another turn.

An hour later, Louis came back and they did another turn of the dough. Harry made an offhand comment about the dough looking like it had even less air in it than when they started, but Louis was sure he was exaggerating. Hyped up on the restless energy of the day, he made a joke about Harry not helping the video which put another giant smile on Harry’s face and made him laugh again. 

Louis had made this dough twice in prep during the week prior while Harry was gone and he hadn’t had any problems with it.

It was definitely the best dough yet.

The call time was supposed to be 9 am. 

Louis and Zayn had gotten in pretty early because their commute had been light that morning. He wasn’t surprised, it was a beautiful Friday in May and the city was reveling in it.

Apparently, so was Harry. 

Louis checked his watch. 9:10.

Because the call time had been set, Zayn already had the camera holstered filming Louis as he walked around prepping. Harry was still nowhere to be found and Louis was vamping, if only to fill the time.

While he waited, Louis wandered around picking out spices and chocolate and some of his cocoa rouge powder that he thought they might want for toppings later when they actually fried off the doughnuts.

After he was satisfied he had grabbed everything they talked about and more, he settled back at bench one and took a sip of his yerba mate and surveyed his findings.

“What do we need?” he mumbled absentmindedly. “What do we… need?”

He could feel Zayn filming him over his shoulder so he turned to the camera.

“Oh, I know what we need. We need Harry.”

Zayn tried not to laugh as Louis came back to his place in front of the camera.

“Have you heard from him, Zaynie?” he asked Zayn. 

Both Zayn and the camera shook back and forth, so Louis dug his phone out of his pocket. No messages.

“So much for that,” he said as he texted Harry a simple “ _Donuts?_ ” before stuffing it back in his jeans.

Louis could feel himself getting bored. He started playing with his mic pack before Zayn gave him a silent stink eye. To resist temptation he clipped it on his waistband where it should be, but it wasn’t long before his hands found something else to play with instead.

A few seconds later his pocket buzzed.

 **Harold** : _In the Oculus, coming!_

The Oculus was the transportation hub under One World Trade Center, which meant he was only a few minutes away. Thank god.

Zayn kept filming so Louis kept vamping for the camera, but he was quickly running out of things to do or say.

“Ugh,” Louis groaned five minutes later when Harry still wasn’t there. He splayed his torso flat across bench one. “I feel like I’m in school again.”

Another few minutes after that, Zayn finally broke his silence. “Which Oculus is he even in?”

Louis groaned again but thankfully one of the editorial assistants—the first person besides Zayn Louis had seen in twenty minutes—made the terrible mistake of walking by the bench, so Louis roped him in to hearing about what they were going to do. He made a few more jokes about how late Harry was, but finally let the assistant go on his merry way.

He checked his watch again. 9:35.

“Zaaaaaaaaayn,” he whined.

Zayn didn’t answer. He let Louis suffer for another minute or so before he waved to silently get his attention and pointed back towards the door.

There, talking to the editorial assistant, was Harry Styles looking like spring sunshine personified with his big, curly brown ringlets and a yellow denim jacket with embroidered flowers.

“Ooh!” he yelled to get Harry’s attention. “There he is!”

Harry looked dazed and confused as he saw the completely set up bench one and Zayn standing there already filming. 

“Harold, I am _exhausted._ ”

Harry’s brow furrowed. “Why?”

The thing was, Louis should have been mad. He should have been annoyed. If it had been anyone else making him wait, he might have been. Instead he bit back a smile and dialed up the dramatics. “I’ve been dancing in front of this camera for forty five minutes. There was a nine o’clock call time.”

“Forty five minutes?” Harry asked incredulously. “Wait, I thought it was 9:30.”

Louis watched in slow motion as Harry put the straw of his iced coffee in the side of his mouth and sipped suggestively. To be fair to Harry, Louis didn’t think it was meant to be that suggestive, but Harry’s lips were so plump and pink that almost anything he did with them went the extra mile. He looked away quickly and stood up to his full height because Harry was his best friend and that was… weird.

It wasn’t as though he didn’t know Harry was attractive. Louis was a man. With eyes. He knew first hand that people of all genders fell all over themselves to try and get Harry’s attention—even if Harry himself didn’t really see it. Hell, Harry was basically his hottest friend. And Louis was a gay man in New York City, so he had a lot of very attractive friends.

There was just something special about Harry. The way he carried himself, or the way he could be so serious and regimented, but also wasn’t afraid to laugh at himself or at Louis’ stupid humor.

Harry snorted. “I’m still fifteen minutes late if it was 9:30,” he said looking at the front of his phone where it clearly said 9:45.

He took his backpack off his shoulders and placed it at his feet. “But I got you something!” Excitedly, he pulled a tube of cherry chapstick out of his bag.

Louis stopped short. The temptation to mess with him was too strong. “I hate chapstick.”

Harry’s jaw dropped and he scoffed. “You love cherry chapstick!”

“You bought this?” Louis asked, taking it from his outstretched hand. “Thanks, Harold.” He turned around so his back was to the camera as he applied it. He really did like chapstick and he never remembered to carry it around with him. 

Because he was so keyed up, and he knew Harry was watching him, Louis stuck his tongue out and licked the top of the chapstick. 

“Ew, Louis!” Harry cried out. 

Louis turned back around. “What? I just licked it,” he told the camera. Zayn was turning red trying not to laugh.

Harry picked up his backpack again. “I was going to use it!”

The thought of Harry making his lips even pinker with something Louis’ lips had already touched zipped through his brain before he squashed it without a second thought. “Oh, you wanted this back?”

Harry tried to relax his face to roll his eyes at Louis in disgust, but his mouth was turned up at the corners.

Interrupting them, Zayn handed Harry a mic pack and he ran into the next room so that he was off camera while he put his things away and got himself together in record time. 

Louis could have used another minute before Harry came back around bench one with his iced coffee stil in hand—he liked that Zayn let him drink it on camera while Liam usually made him hide it. “Alright, let’s do this.”

Louis took a deep breath to start explaining his set up when he realized they hadn’t done an introduction or anything yet, even though it felt like he had run a marathon. “Oh, we’ve got to really start this episode now. Okay,” he laughed.

Zayn yelled cut and turned around to reset his clapboard while Louis just stared at him.

“You’re kidding, right? _Now_ you cut?”

**Harry**

The afternoon sunlight was streaming into the test kitchen bright enough that Harry succumbed to calling Louis over so he could get up on a ladder and fix the blind that was broken.

Technically, Harry had only asked _how_ to fix it, but Louis took one look at him in his bedraggled state and said no, he would get up and do it himself. Harry tried to tell himself that it was because Louis was so naturally handy, but it was also probably because Harry was a bit of a klutz on a good day.

The day, so far, had not been a good one.

It started out messy when he got to work forty-five minutes late for an early morning call time. Louis hadn’t seemed that upset, but Harry felt pretty bad about it. The weather was so beautiful in the morning, and the city was still relatively calm that early, so he took his time getting downtown. Then, he stopped for coffee, and gotten Louis his chapstick, and by the time he realized he was late, there was no saving him.

That had been the best part of the day.

After that, Liam put him through the wringer filming Starburst. At least he finally found a recipe he liked that tasted okay, but then everything had devolved into pure chaos.

Harry had four of his friends helping him—even Zayn, who hated being on camera—and he gave each of them a batch to help him incorporate the flavoring, knead, and form. Meanwhile he had been running around with hot sugar trying to get it evenly distributed.

Everything happened all at once, and he wasn’t positive, but he was pretty sure that almost nothing had actually worked. 

At the moment, they were waiting for the batches to set, so he was having a quick lunch sitting at bench one while he waited for Louis to finish his meeting. Once he was done, he was coming back downstairs and they were going to film the rest of their sourdough doughnuts episode.

That, too, was proving to be a bit of a failure. Earlier, they knew the doughnuts weren’t proofed enough but they went ahead and fried one off anyway. It hadn’t worked.

Now, they were waiting for the doughnuts to prove. While Harry was simultaneously waiting for the Starbursts to set.

Why on earth had he thought scheduling all his filming for one day was a good idea?

Everyone had dispersed for either the same meeting Louis was in or for lunch, so the kitchen was almost entirely empty save Harry and Perrie who was doing some recipe development at bench two. It was eerie after the pure chaotic energy they had just expended filming Starbursts.

Zayn had his camera up and ready to go when Louis came back.

“Don’t worry, I’m here!” Louis called from the front of the kitchen.

He had no idea he was wading into the calm _after_ the storm. 

After what had happened earlier, Harry wanted to get back at him a little. “I have been waiting for _thirty-five minutes._ ” 

Perrie turned around and chimed in. “ _Hours.”_

Louis grinned as he put his apron on and clipped in his mic pack. “Yeah? How’s it feel, huh? What goes around comes around Half-Sour.”

All of the restless energy after the mess of a day he’d had came bubbling up as the ridiculous nickname made him giggle. 

Soon, he couldn’t stop giggling.

It hadn’t even been that funny.

Louis must have looked confused because Zayn actually started explaining what had happened.

“You missed it, we broke Harry while you were gone.”

Harry pulled himself together enough to add, “You missed utter chaos.”

Louis looked amused at his breakdown. “Are you in a good spot? In a good mental spot right now?”

“No!” Harry cried, shaking his head. “No, not at all.”

“Great, let’s get started then.”

Harry had already gone off the deep end. “I should have known this was not going to be a good day.”

“Harold, this is a _great_ day. Stop. You’ll be fine.”

Realizing he had skipped ahead a few steps, Harry turned to the stove and the test doughnut he had fried earlier while he was waiting for his lunch. 

“I just did a test and they’re not ready.”

Zayn followed them to the stove as Louis started asking questions to figure out where they had gone so wrong. The most frustrating thing for Louis, Harry was sure, was the fact that he had just done a test batch the day before. He had been testing and prepping the recipe all week in preparation for the episode.

They decided it was draping the doughnuts with a cotton towel instead of plastic wrap that had weighed them down, but they still had a few that they might be able to save.

Louis glanced at Harry out of the corner of his eye before turning to the camera to explain what they were going to do. Harry was feeling the effects of the day as his stress began to mount again. He could physically feel the frustration and exhaustion beginning to seep out of his pores. 

Harry was pretty sure he was slipping into a non-verbal headspace. There had never been a better time for Louis to be there so he could do the talking for the both of them.

“Alright, Zaynie, we’re going to do another tester,” Louis sighed. “And then if that falls through, we’ll address plan B.”

The thought of trying something else, anything else, or having to go back to the drawing board, or really having to do anything besides dip a perfectly cooked doughnut into a silky, ribbony chocolate ganache overwhelmed Harry and pushed him over the edge.

“If that falls through, do you want to go get a drink?” He burst out.

Louis’ head snapped to look at him, surprised. As a general rule, the staff of the test kitchen didn’t talk much about their lives off-camera. Harry especially. It was an unwritten rule when they both had started making videos but now was part of the conduct of making videos.

Harry shouldn’t have said it so blatantly. He should have waited until they had cut, but his nerves were so frayed that he didn’t even really care. Besides, Zayn could edit it out later.

Louis was quicker on his feet and did his best to agree but ease them out of the spot Harry had cornered them in as he subtly agreed.

“Oh, I _will_ be drinking tonight.” He took a breath and pivoted back to the matter at hand. “If this test doesn’t work out, we should address our backup plan.”

Harry tried to pull himself together. “Our backup plan is to do it again and pretend like this never happened?”

Louis scoffed. “No, no. We’ll figure it out.”

They decided to try frying off their last “Hail Mary” tester, and Zayn reset so he was filming over their shoulders again.

It failed. Miserably.

Louis had the wherewithal to wrap things up somewhat eloquently by starting to wax poetic about the nature of cooking and how failing is all part of the process.

Harry was so tired that he drifted off to the side to get a sip of water and ended up sitting down on his rolly stool from lunch so he could admire the fact that Louis’ brain cells were still in working condition.

Louis then started explaining to the camera that he had been making the doughnuts perfectly all week leading up to filming and pulled out his phone to show a picture of them to the camera.

Harry wanted to see the picture, but the idea of getting off the stool made him want to melt onto the floor. Instead, he used his heels to roll himself over to the bench.

“Can I see?” 

“Sure,” Louis leaned down so that Harry could see the nice picture he had taken for his Instagram.

“Show the camera,” Harry said. As Louis continued to explain, Harry told him he was going to roll back over to the window.

As he sat back, sipping his water, Louis kept explaining what had gone wrong and kept trying to put a positive uplifting spin on the whole thing.

Caught up in his admiration of his best friend, Harry cut in again. “I think it’ll be okay.”

He didn’t think they were going to be okay, but he was willing to try for Louis.

“Today?” Louis asked.

“It’s still early.” 

Between the two of them they negotiated a time that afternoon to try again before Louis stopped him and turned to Zayn.

“Well, how does that work for you?”

“I’ve got a flight to catch,” Zayn told them both, effectively bringing an end to their planning. They couldn’t keep going without Zayn there to produce and film.

“Now?” Louis asked.

“Yeah, it boards in a couple hours.”

Harry was scandalized. “Oh, Zayn. Go now!” They were within the window of when Zayn should be arriving at the airport, not standing there talking to them. “You should leave.”

When Louis turned to him and asked him how he was doing with Starbursts, Harry glared at him. This was not the time to bring that up. No matter what they did with doughnuts, he absolutely had to finish Starbursts that afternoon, and he still didn’t even know if they were successful or not. He wasn’t sure he could handle another failure.

Just then, out of nowhere, Louis’ phone that was still face up on the counter lit up and pinged with an incoming text message from Eric C.

Eric C. could only be their former colleague who had worked at Bon Appétit until about six months prior when he left to work for a restaurant group that was rapidly expanding in Brooklyn. He was also gay, and had been attracted to Louis. 

Harry had known he wanted to hook up with Louis because the entire office had known he wanted to hook up with Louis, despite the fact that Louis was married. 

Harry stopped short.

Louis _had_ been married at the time. He wasn’t anymore, though.

Momentarily forgetting that the camera was still rolling, Harry nodded to the phone. “He still text you a lot?”

Louis looked down at the phone before looking back at Harry with a sly grin. “Sometimes,” he shrugged.

Louis knew firsthand how annoying Eric was, and how much Harry did not like him at all. 

Harry mostly didn’t like Eric because he had been relentless in his over the top flirting with Louis during work hours. It had been awkward and uncomfortable to witness, and it had gotten so bad that Zayn always either stopped filming or warned Eric not to interact with Louis while he was on camera.

That was a big step to take considering the casual, relaxed, and interactive nature of Bon Appétit’s filming style.

Harry laughed and crossed his arms in front of him on the bench top so he could lean his head down.

Louis coughed dramatically a few times before covering his mic with his hand and bending down so he was closer to Harry. Harry didn’t have the heart to tell him that his mic was still hot, and selfishly he wanted to know what Louis was going to say. Zayn could edit it out later.

“He’s always texted me off and on but he somehow heard about the separation and the filing so lately it’s been more frequent.”

Harry shot up dramatically revealing his mic. “Oh, really?” he asked before breaking down into another fit of giggles.

Louis threw up his hands. “Oh, he’s mic’d! Damnit.” He signed for Zayn to cut with his hand. “Cut! We’re caught!”

Harry was laughing so hard that his eyes started tearing up. He turned away from the camera to dab the corners of his eyes.

Once he pulled himself together, Louis told the camera he was going to make another dough so that the next time Harry came in they could fry them off right away. 

They discussed their schedules for a few more minutes before they gave up and Zayn pointed out, again, that he needed to go catch his flight.

“Alright, alright,” Louis said, putting his hands up to quiet everybody in the immediate area. “We can figure this out later. Come on, Zaynie. Take off. I’ll water the plants while you’re gone.”

Zayn called cut, finally, for the last time on what felt like a mess of a day. Harry reveled in the relief for another moment or two before Liam popped his head around the corner.

“So, are you guys done? Harry, you ready to finish Starbursts?”

Harry felt like his strings had been cut as he fell back onto his rolly stool.

Louis started yelling. “What are you doing, Liam? We can’t have any of that talk right now! We’ve got very important things to discuss.”

Liam rushed away, but Harry knew they had merely kicked the problem down the road and he would have to finish it before the day was done.

“We do?” he sighed.

Louis looked confused for a minute before he understood what Harry was asking. “Right, yes. We do. Drinks? Tonight?”

It had been Harry’s idea in the first place, but now he wasn’t sure he wanted to follow through. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, Harold. Let’s go.” He crossed his arms and leaned back down until they were at eye level again. “Zayn’s going away, and I don’t feel like going home to an empty apartment that isn’t mine for longer than I have to tonight.”

That was a low blow. Louis knew Harry would fall for that argument.

“Fine, okay. Let’s invite everybody.”

Louis clapped his hands together. “That’s what I’m talking about. Two beers, you’ll feel better about all of this, I promise.”

Harry smiled, resting his head down on bench one. “I know, I know. You’ve got to tell everyone, though. I’ve got to finish this.”

Now that the camera was off, Louis freely rubbed his strong hand soothingly across the stiff muscles of Harry’s back for a few seconds. “You can do it, Harold. One last push.”

Harry let his eyes flutter shut to try and hold onto the fleeting relief Louis had provided. “Yeah. I can do it.”

There was a din of chatter as everyone gathered at the elevator bay. Jesy kept loudly proclaiming that she hoped they were going somewhere good for happy hour. Harry was glad they were going, loved when they all got together to do stuff like this, but his headache was quickly catching up to him after the day he had. 

Louis had done his job in spreading the word around to their friends, everyone was definitely ready to go. He stood in the middle of the crowd that had gathered checking his phone to make sure everyone was there who said they wanted to be and fielding the rest of the messages.

Harry leaned back against the wall and let his head rest for a moment against the cool surface to wait. He took an Excedrin before they left the desk area, and he definitely should not mix that with alcohol, he knew that, but sometimes it couldn’t be helped.

Suddenly, the elevator bay went quiet.

Louis was looking at him expectantly. “What do you say, Harold?” 

“Hmm?”

His gaze softened when he realized Harry hadn’t been paying attention. “Your idea, your choice. Where do you want to go?”

“Oh.” Harry didn’t love being the one that chose. No matter what a group was doing, he usually let someone else make the choice and then he would execute that choice to the best of his ability. “Um, we haven’t been to Loophole in awhile?”

He wasn’t in the test kitchen as often, so they could have gone the week before for all he knew, but if that was the case Louis didn’t give anything away. Instead, he clapped his hands together and swung his pointer finger in the air to get everyone to move together as one towards the elevator that said it was only two floors away.

“Let’s go, let’s go!”

The Loophole was a small hole in the wall sort of place that served reimagined classic cocktails. Harry liked it especially on days like the one he had been having because it had dark wooden paneling and soft candlelight and really felt like a quiet neighborhood bar even in the heart of the Financial District. It was popular with other Condé Nast staff in the building and creative types that didn’t necessarily want to go to the sleek modern bars the Wall Street boys went to instead. 

Harry liked it because he could get an interesting cocktail or a nice cold beer depending on his mood, and it was similar to a pub he liked to go to up by his apartment too.

As the group fell out of the elevator together and started the trek to the bar, Harry was observing his coworkers in a sort of aerial way. They were such a great group, it was nice to hang back and watch their dynamic sometimes.

“You’re quiet now, Harold.” Louis snuck up on him.

Harry was quiet, but mostly because he was tired. “Wiped out, but it’ll be nice to relax a little before I head home.”

Louis nudged Harry’s side with his elbow. “That’s the spirit!” he laughed. “We’ll wring you dry, then send you on your way.”

They fell into a comfortable silence until they reached the bar as they all came in and put their things down before dispersing to order at the bar or grab some menus.

Louis managed to end up in the center of the booth against the wall, he always did, but Harry knew he liked it that way because it meant he was able to bounce around between all the different conversations.

Harry settled next to him on the bench and they decided to wait for the waitress to come over to take their order.

Adam, Mitch, and Jade were all engrossed in a discussion about one of the projects they were working on for the upcoming issue on one side while Niall showed Shawn and Liam the newest playlist he had developed. Perrie and Sarah had immediately hit the restrooms, but were back out now chatting with the bartender and looking over the cocktail menu near the bar. 

They all seemed settled there, comfortable. That was why Harry had picked it, even if it wasn’t the trendiest place. Sometimes that was what he needed, and he felt that as “food” people who worked at the forefront of the field, it was good for them to all take a step back.

The waitress came by and Louis ordered something on draft, and insisted on adding Harry’s order to his tab. He ordered a Periodista which he knew was a little boozy but he was only going to have one, maybe two before he headed home.

Ninety minutes later, Harry was still at The Loophole. For people that spent all day every day together, they somehow still all had things to talk about during happy hour.

Sarah and Mitch were the first to leave, and they had just walked out hand in hand. 

When they left, Niall challenged Shawn to a game of darts so he, Liam, and Perrie had all gotten up and gone to the back of the bar. Harry thought Louis was going to join them, but he had lagged behind.

Meanwhile, with Louis paying for his drinks, Harry had lost track of how many he had consumed. He knew he should have paid more attention, and he didn’t think Louis was actively trying to get him drunk—though he had done that before during Harry’s thirtieth birthday party—but he wasn’t actively discouraging the waitress as she kept bringing them fresh drinks.

Louis, too, had been served quite a few pints, though he was notoriously better at holding his liquor than Harry.

And Harry wouldn’t have noticed, either, if he hadn’t gotten up to go to the bathroom after he said goodbye to Sarah and Mitch. Somehow when he was sitting down before, his head was a lot clearer, but now everything was starting to get fuzzy around the edges.

Louis had leaned both his elbows on the table in front of him. The cuff of his flannel shirt was rolled back a few times until it wrapped around his forearm cutting off right at the back feathers of his large bird tattoo.

Louis was real and rugged in a way that a lot of Harry’s other New York City friends weren’t. He loved the outdoors, and didn’t really bother with his style all that much. He had style, he just valued function over what was coming off the pages of the latest magazine. In the back of Harry’s mind, he sometimes managed to admit to himself that when he fantasized about a partner, the amorphous blob was a lot like Louis. Someone attractive but _real_ that had a positive outlook on life.

That was why he was struggling with the concept of his divorce. Harry knew that Louis and Tyler weren’t the most ideal match Harry had ever seen. They seemed like complete polar opposites, which he knew was sometimes the thing that drew couples together, “opposites attract” and all that, but sometimes with couples it felt as though they were so far apart, they were operating on two different planes. 

All that being said, Harry was still having trouble reconciling the idea of Tyler actually making the decision to separate from Louis. If Harry had someone like Louis, he wouldn’t let him go.

Unfortunately, Harry was just drunk enough to take a deep breath and open his mouth to ask him. It was just the two of them at the table, what was the harm?

“Why did Tyler—” 

Louis turned to look at him, but Harry got cut off by the front door of the bar tingling open and someone sidling up to their table.

“Hey, boys. How are we this evening?”

Harry felt dread wash over him. Eric. 

It wasn’t even that Harry hated Eric all that much, he usually tolerated him just fine, but the whole point of their happy hour outing was to relax, and Harry could feel the burden of interacting with an annoying person creep up on him in anticipation.

True to form, the second Eric sat down it was like Harry ceased to exist. To him, at least.

As Eric droned on about how amazing his life was at his new job, Louis made sure to bump his arm against Harry’s as a subtle, steady acknowledgement of his presence even if he couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

Eric did his best to flirt and bat his eyelashes at Louis, complimenting the content he had coming out and talking about all of the videos he had watched recently. Louis was barely responding, being pretty short with him. Harry knew how Louis felt about Eric, but Eric clearly couldn’t take the hint that he was unwelcome, making sure to brush his hand across Louis’ arm in an overly-familiar way.

Harry rolled his lips together watching, probably a little too intently, the spot on Louis’ forearm he kept touching. 

Whatever. His gut was beginning to roll, but he didn’t feel sick. Maybe he needed to stop drinking.

“So, Louis,” Eric preened. “Do you and Tyler still have that adorable place in Park Slope?” 

Oh.

Harry could feel Louis tense beside him. Obviously not many people knew about the divorce, he had only recently told Harry, but word was starting to spread a little bit. Mostly from Niall. He wondered how Louis was going to tell Eric, because it was dangerous giving someone like that so much ammunition. It was both the juiciest sort of gossip and a perceived green light for his flirting to lead to something more.

Uncomfortable now, Harry wanted to see what time it was but didn’t want to interrupt the moment to check the time on his phone.

Louis glanced to his side and made eye contact with Harry for a brief moment before turning back to Eric. 

“I’m actually staying in Jersey City with Zayn for a while right now,” he said as vaguely as he possibly could.

Harry could see on Eric’s face that he was concentrating so hard on the mental image of Louis and Zayn that he missed the lede. He wondered if Louis did it on purpose.

Finally, it clicked. 

“Just you?”

Louis nodded, his mouth drawn tight. “Yep. Well, me and Zayn.”

Eric’s eyebrows raised up into his hairline and his gaze flicked to Harry for the first time since the conversation began as if to question the veracity of what Louis was saying. Or maybe he just wanted to know if Harry already knew.

Harry did his best to keep his face passive. Yes, he knew, and yes, he supported Louis, and no, he wasn’t going to give Eric any more information than Louis wanted to share.

“So you and Tyler have…” Harry could tell that Eric didn’t want to be the first person to say the word. He also knew Louis, and he knew Louis was going to make him squirm a bit.

As Harry’s gaze darted back and forth between the two of them like the world’s most awkward tennis match, he waited for Louis to finally give into the pregnant pause.

“Yeah, we’ve split.”

When Harry was younger he used to watch this show called _Lie to Me_ where a man read people’s expressions to try and see if they were lying. The character would talk about little, subtle ways people could advertise their true intentions with their expressions that they didn’t give away with their words.

Eric was not that subtle. The corners of his mouth turned up into a smile so quickly, even as he attempted to be contrite in what he was saying.

He laid his hand fully flat, curved around Louis’ forearm in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Lou-Lou. That’s tough.” 

Lou-Lou? Harry just barely bit back a grimace.

In what looked like a casual mood, Louis drew his hand back, dislodging Eric’s grip.

Eric simpered at him in put-upon sympathy and pressed his palm flat to his chest. “Do you want to talk about it? You know you can tell me anything.”

Louis shook his head. “Not really, if that’s alright.”

“Right, right. Of course,” Eric flicked his hand dismissively as though he himself was ridiculous for even asking. “Tonight is supposed to be fun! We don’t want to sit here wasting away in the corner like a Debbie Downer.”

Even if it wasn’t a direct dig at Harry, it felt like one. He was known as the office homebody, and he had been the one who chose to stay seated at the table with Louis. They were having a great conversation before Eric came around. Eric always had such a negative effect on Harry’s self-doubt.

“Yep,” Louis nodded noncommittally. “Hey, uh. I feel bad, bud. Niall, Shawn, Liam, Perrie, they’re all here too. I don’t think you even had a chance to say hello to them yet at all.”

There was no polite way for Eric to decline greeting them and he recognized it too.

Louis nodded to the darts game. “Me and Harry will meet you over there in a bit.”

Eric agreed and lifted himself gracefully out of the dingy, lacquered wood chair and glided across the room.

Harry shouldn’t project his own dislike of Eric onto Louis’ feelings, but he thought he felt their combined relief, not just his. He knew Louis had been uncomfortable with Eric’s lack of boundaries before, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like the guy.

“I’m glad he doesn’t work with us any more.” 

Harry snorted and covered his eyes with one hand. There was no way he could look at Louis in that moment without bursting out into hysterical laughter. As it was, some giggles escaped.

When he finally calmed down Harry lowered his hand to find Louis staring at him contemplatively. “How are you doing, Harold? Want another drink?” He nodded to indicate Harry’s empty glass.

If Harry had another one, he wouldn’t be able to get home.

“No, no. I should head out soon.”

Most people they worked with would complain and beg him to stay out a little while longer, but Louis just watched him for another moment before standing up and maneuvering out of the bench. Harry took his cue and stood up as well. 

That was when all of the cocktails he had made themselves known in a variety of ways. His head swam for a second and his bladder screamed. He should go to the bathroom and splash some water on his face before he left.

“Woah,” Louis said, coming around the table quickly and holding a hand out to steady Harry. 

Harry waved him off. “I’ll be good, just got to pee.”

After, he felt a bit more refreshed, and when he left the bathroom Louis was over by the dart section hugging Perrie. Harry felt rude leaving without saying goodbye even though all of his instincts were screaming for him to just leave.

“I’m going to head out guys,” Harry called over the hubbub of the game. Everyone turned and cried out all at the same time, but because it was a group they didn’t push him as much as they could have one on one.

To his surprise, when he began moving towards the exit, Louis moved with him. “What are you doing?”

Louis looked taken aback. “Taking you home? What does it look like I’m doing?”

Harry immediately protested, even as Louis had a hand on his back pushing him out the door. “You can’t do that, Louis, you’re going all the way to _Jersey_!”

“Alright, drunky,” the din of downtown had been muffled in the bar, but now there was a pleasant hum of noise accompanying them. Because the days were getting longer and longer there was still a touch of twilight in the air. “It’s only eight o’clock and I’m only going to Jersey City. That’s the beauty of happy hour. Calm down.”

“But not from my place!”

Louis hooked his hand in Harry’s elbow and began dragging him in the direction of the station. “Come on, let’s go.”

It’s a nice night out, so Louis turns uptown towards Tribeca and they begin to walk in a peaceful, easy silence.

They pass by a small park right at Chambers Street where they probably should have gotten on the train, but both of them keep walking. Normally, Harry would have loved to stop and sit for a minute in that little park because there were a couple of nice benches in it, but it was Manhattan so it was under construction.

There were five more blocks before they hit the next station, and Harry was sobering up but he was still just drunk enough that it had loosened his tongue.

“You know Eric is never going to leave you alone now.”

Louis blew his breath out on a laugh. “Yeah,” he sighed. “I know. I’m just irresistible that way, I guess.”

Harry couldn’t stop himself from shoving Louis halfway across the wide sidewalk on West Broadway. It wasn’t his fault, Louis deserved it.

“I’m serious, Lou.”

Louis was still laughing a bit but he tried to keep a straight face. “I know, I know. He flirts, and it’s weird, but it’s relatively harmless.”

“I think you should say something. Especially now that you’re single.” Harry hadn’t meant to be so callous about the statement, but he could see the moment when it sobered Louis even more. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Shrugging, Louis waved him off. “No, no it’s okay. It’s just weird to think about it like that. Because I am. Single.”

The question Harry wanted to ask him before Eric interrupted them earlier began bubbling up again, unbidden.

“Why did Tyler do it?” Damn alcohol. Prohibition was beginning to make more sense by the minute.

Louis began intensely studying the sidewalk. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how could he leave you? _You_?” Harry asked hysterically. He stopped dead in his tracks, overwhelmed by his confusion and Louis stopped with him. “As someone who is perpetually looking for the last good, available man in any of the five boroughs, I can’t imagine having someone like you and letting them go.”

Louis didn’t say anything for a while and too late, Harry realized how overly dramatic he was being.

“I, um,” Louis squinted away from Harry towards the glittering high rises of midtown. “I appreciate the sentiment, Harold, but I think we were just too… different.”

It was a plausible explanation for him to give, but it was still too simplistic to be a real answer. 

Not that Louis _owed_ Harry anything, he just wanted to understand. Louis was still mulling it over and Harry could practically see the gears turning in his head as they walked.

So, they walked some more. Harry wanted to give him some space and not interrupt his thought process but by the time they reached Franklin Street, Louis began nudging him towards the station. Harry didn’t think Louis was really going to go all the way uptown with him, but it was clear when he actually swiped his way through to the main part of the station that he was intent on it.

It wasn’t until they were standing on the platform waiting that Louis broke the silence. 

“I think what I admired about him at first was that he was so different from me. He liked all of the parties and entertaining and going to things. Glamorous things. With us,” he gestured wildly between the two of them, but Harry knew what he meant. “When I somehow managed to get a job at BA and I was effectively washing dishes, it was too sophisticated for me even then.”

Harry wanted to interrupt and protest, but Louis was on a roll. 

“I’m a pretty simple guy. And then I met Tyler, and he’s— Well, he was almost… aspirational. He was the partner that fit with this new life, especially after the videos took off.”

Louis had more to say, Harry could see, but just then the train came rushing into the station. Thankfully, the break in the conversation didn’t deter him. The train was pretty clear so they had plenty of room to sit down.

“After I got promoted and the videos were doing well, and then I got promoted again, it was…” Louis scrubbed his hand over his face as he readjusted on the hard plastic bench. “Everything about me and Tyler made sense on paper. But maybe that was the only place it made sense.”

Harry hummed his agreement but didn’t say anything else, lest he ruin the moment. Louis was an emotional guy, but it wasn’t very often that he actually expressed what was brewing deep down inside him. It helped that he and Zayn had a weird telepathic thing happening so he probably didn’t have to verbalize everything like this on a regular basis. 

“What about you, Harold?” Louis finally said after they had gone a few more stops.

He was thrown by the question. “What do you mean, what about me?”

Louis leaned in closer. “You said you’re looking for the ‘last good, available man in the five boroughs.’ What does he look like for you?”

Being single in New York in his late twenties—and being raised by strong women—meant that Harry got that question a lot. So often, in fact, that he had a stock answer.

“I just want to find someone nice.”

Louis looked at him with skepticism splashed across his face plain as day. “Nice? What kind of description is that.”

“I mean,” Harry huffed and nudged Louis so he would stop teasing him. “There’s so much drama. Everyone knows everyone who worked with so-and-so and it becomes such a big giant tangled web that people get hurt from all the back and forth. So I just want someone nice.”

There was one beat of silence, then another. 

“You do talk some shit, don’t you?”

Harry honked out a laugh disturbing everyone else in the car around them, but Louis’ instincts were quicker and he slapped a hand over Harry’s mouth. 

“Shh, Harold!” he whisper-shouted as all the other passengers looked at them with the same mild annoyance that New Yorkers directed at everyone. 

Harry’s lips tingled under the warmth of Louis’ palm, and that was something he just didn’t have the energy or brain power in himself to explore right then, so he did the only thing he could think of in the moment.

“Ew! Did you just lick me?” Louis drew his hand back in a flash.

Harry, meanwhile, was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. Soon after that, Louis was also doubled over trying not to make too much of a commotion.

When they pulled into the next station Harry checked where they were. There were only a few more stops until 86th.

Now that the heavier moment had been alleviated, their conversation lightened considerably. It was purely small talk from there on out, even as they climbed up from underground and turned west to get to Harry’s place.

At the base of his stoop, Louis paused.

Harry had already hopped up a step, but he felt the halt in Louis’ movement so he turned back around.

Harry’s street was quiet, for New York at least, and the breeze picked up blowing Louis’ soft bangs off his face for a moment as he looked up at Harry.

There was something new in his eyes that Harry had never seen before. He had seen it in other people, but never in Louis. It was anticipation. 

When Harry first started at Bon Appétit, when he didn’t know anyone, he had seen Louis across the room for the first time and had developed a little bit of a crush on him. Immediate infatuation, that was it, nothing crazy. Louis didn’t wear his wedding ring at work when he was cooking, so Harry had no idea.

After he learned about Louis’ fiancee he forced himself to stop thinking about Louis in that way. Crushing on someone else’s spouse wasn’t wrong necessarily, but by then he had gotten to know Louis and they clicked almost immediately so he wanted to keep Louis in his life. There was no way for him to harbor a crush and still manage to look Louis or Tyler in the eye when he saw them, so he tamped it down.

Over time his crush got easier and easier to suppress. He and Louis became best friends, then they started doing videos together. The channel grew so exponentially that it was a lot to handle all at once, so Harry let himself forget.

But now he and Louis were there, standing on his stoop in the moonlight, both still tipsy from their drinks at the bar.

And Louis was looking at him the way Harry had first imagined he would way back when on his first day at Bon Appétit when all he saw was the attractive, capable man who commanded attention in any room he walked into.

Except that man had been taken. 

The word “rebound” started playing on ticker tape across the bottom of Harry’s consciousness. 

He didn’t want to be Louis’ rebound.

With everything in him, Harry hopped off the step back onto the sidewalk. Before Louis had the chance to do anything they might both regret, Harry threw his arms around his neck and pressed their bodies together in a fierce hug, taking away the choice.

“Thanks for walking me home, Lou. You really didn’t have to do that.”

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s ribcage and splayed his hands flat across his back rubbing comfortingly. Louis gave the best hugs.

“Of course, Harold.”

Selfishly, Harry didn’t want to let go. He wanted to stand there and be held by Louis for as long as he would allow. So he did.

There was no telling how long they stood there on 89th St. just holding each other.

Finally, Louis pulled away. “I should get home.”

Harry nodded, drawing his hands back into him holding himself around the waist to keep the warmth a little bit longer.

“Goodnight, Lou.”

Louis smiled at him, the charming sideways smile he had sometimes when he was holding something back. “Go on, Harold. Get upstairs. I’ll call an Uber.”

Harry nodded before climbing the rest of the steps to the front door and unlocking it. He waved one last time from the window in the door, but Louis just shooed him up.

When he finally got upstairs, he made it to the window just in time to see a car pull up and Louis climb into it before it drove off.


	2. Chapter 2

The Monday morning after their Friday happy hour adventure, Harry was scheduled to go back into the test kitchen so he woke up early and went for a run, the same way he always did.

He probably pushed himself a little too hard, but he was worried about seeing Louis.

Maybe worried wasn’t the right word. He was nervous about seeing Louis again after their near… whatever it was on Friday when Louis walked him home. 

He and Louis texted a couple of times over the weekend and even FaceTimed once so he knew it wasn’t going to be weird or awkward between them, but something changed. Harry’s insignificant crush that he had on Louis when he first started at Bon Appétit—a crush that had mostly gone dormant—was now back with a vengeance. Suddenly, it was all he could think about.

When Harry first learned about Louis’ divorce this hadn’t been at the forefront of his mind, because at first he had only been concerned for his friend. But somehow the combination of Eric making Harry feel what he now recognized as jealousy and their goodbye being fraught with tension all combined to shake something loose.

It didn’t matter, he told himself as he tapped his security badge at One World Trade Center. He had gotten rid of the crush once, he could do it again, for the sake of his friendship with Louis.

“Morning, Harold.” Louis’ bright eyes and charming grin stepped through the retracting elevator doors. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Harry smiled back easily, greeting him before leaning back against the wall. There was one other person in the elevator with them but Harry didn’t recognize her.

Louis crowded into Harry’s corner, getting closer than was probably socially acceptable and the woman clearly gave them a _look_ out of the corner of her eye.

Forcing himself to normalize his interactions with Louis again, Harry leaned some of his weight on Louis’ arm. Like he would have before.

The woman got off on one of the lower floors and as soon as they were alone, Louis turned to him. 

“Are you here for the meeting with the big boss?”

He didn’t move out of Harry’s personal space.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “I think it’s the holiday issue. That time of year.”

Louis clapped his hands and rubbed them together excitedly. “Sure is. I think you’re right.”

The elevator opened on their floor and they exited in step with each other.

“Hey! Look who finally showed up,” Niall called out to them from behind the glass door of the bullpen holding his coffee and notebook, clearly on his way to the meeting. 

Louis looked Harry up and down with concern as he badged into the space.

“What? What is it?” 

“Harold, you’re not holding an iced coffee. Do you need one?” He looked gravely concerned and it was too cute for Harry to handle. 

He felt like a teenager with their very first crush. As each minute passed, he couldn’t believe he had ignored these feelings for so long.

To mask his response, he rolled his eyes at Louis and gave him a nudge towards the hallway where Niall was holding the door open for them.

“I had it this morning on my way. Come on, let’s go.”

They followed Niall through to the meeting area where other people were just starting to gather. Niall snagged them a couch and once again Harry was squished between the arm of the couch and Louis.

Every cell in his body was now painfully aware of where Louis was pressed up against him.

Thankfully when Matt, the Editor-in-Chief, came in, Harry had something else to concentrate on instead.

Everyone settled down as he called the meeting to order. 

“Do we have everyone?” The video staff looked around searching for anyone who wasn’t there but came up empty.

“Perfect,” Matt said looking over at Steve who was lurking off to the side. There were a couple representatives from print there as well, and Harry knew they were right, they were going to be talking about the holiday issue.

When Matt declared that it was holiday time there was a general smattering of cheers and groans alike. Personally, Harry loved the holiday issue. It was always his favorite when he was a child, plus it was the time of year most people were more adventurous with their desserts, which was his wheelhouse.

“There’s going to be a big cross-disciplinary collaboration for both print and video this year. We’re doing holiday meals and recipe development from beginning to end. That means the audience is going to watch you develop the recipes that will then end up in the magazine.”

A couple of people looked a little more excited about that. Usually it was the other way around where a chef would develop a recipe, test it multiple times, publish it in the magazine, and then eventually make a shorter form recipe video for when they needed content.

Matt continued through the din of private conversations. “Alright, everybody, I know you’re excited but stay with me for another minute. We’re going to do a big meeting where we determine what everyone will be developing, and then after that we’ll do a filmed version of the meeting where you help each other brainstorm on camera.”

Not a big surprise there, Harry thought. Planning holiday meant there were a lot of cooks in the kitchen—literally—so it was better for them to do their familial squabbling offline.

“In order to maximize everyone’s time, we’re doing the offline meeting later this afternoon. The call will be: Louis, Niall, Shawn, Harry, Perrie, Leigh-Ann, Jesy, Jade, Adam, and Mitch. Liam and Zayn will be coordinating production and direction, so everything from here on out will go through them with Steve as a backup.”

None of the names was a big surprise except maybe Mitch. He didn’t do as much content, but everyone always commented and called for him to be on camera more, so this was his chance.

Louis leaned back and threw his arm around the back of the couch over Harry’s shoulders. “Ready, Harold?”

As they all stood up to leave, Harry agreed that he was ready but secretly he was beginning to wonder what else the exercise would have in store for them. If Mitch’s involvement was any consideration, video was looking to make this a big centerpiece of the channel and of the holiday season which probably meant he and Louis were going to be doing a video together.

It was probably a good thing they hadn’t seen any of the raw footage from sourdough doughnuts, yet then. They still had to finish filming the last part where they actually made the final product. Louis had prepped some dough for them over the weekend, so they should be finishing it later in the day.

When they passed by Mitch, Niall hooked him into their conversation as well. “Wa-hey! Mitchell is officially joining the gang!” 

There was some more teasing back and forth, but Harry had sort of spaced out thinking about doing a whole video and a half with Louis with this odd tension between them. Maybe Louis was fine and wouldn’t think anything of it, but Harry was still reeling trying to understand how he felt about Louis in this new light.

He only had about two hours before they started filming again.

Zayn hadn’t made it in time for the meeting, but he should be coming in the door from the airport any minute so they could film the end of the doughnut video.

“Hey, Half-Sour! Earth to Harold?” Louis was waving his hand in front of Harry’s face.

Harry snapped back into reality. “Right. Hi, hey. What’s up?”

Louis looked a bit like he was laughing at how startled Harry was. “You good?” When Harry agreed, he kept going. “Good. Zaynie just texted me, he landed fine and should be back in plenty of time to film. The dough’s looking beautiful. We are good to go!”

Because they had gone straight to the meeting when they came in, Harry still had his tote bag over his shoulder so when they hit the test kitchen he made a beeline for the fridge to store his salad.

One step at a time. They had to finish sourdough doughnuts first, then the meeting, then Harry would be out of the test kitchen for two weeks. Two weeks was plenty of time for him to try and grapple with his feelings because it was two weeks away from any sort of exposure to Louis. That would be good for him.

It wasn’t avoidance. It _wasn’t_.

Filming the culmination of their sourdough doughnut video went smoothly after Zayn got back, which was in and of itself surprising given how it went during their first attempt.

Harry and Louis both got a little wrapped up in the excitement of finally being able to serve their friends doughnuts and Harry couldn’t help but watch Louis as he found random ingredients hidden throughout the test kitchen to try throwing on the final product.

All of the people that had been craving doughnuts from the get go managed to swing by and try some, offering their two cents here and there as to how good the final batch was.

For Harry, it was pure torture. 

Louis was acting normally around him, like nothing had happened. But suddenly Harry, for the first time in his digital content career at Bon Appétit, was hyper aware of the camera and how he must look interacting with Louis. It was new and uncomfortable and he definitely needed to snap out of it.

Before the meeting he had been looking forward to his two weeks off so he could concentrate on getting his mind right. After the meeting, he was filled with a sense of foreboding. Based on the big deal everyone was making about the holiday issue and the way people were acting, he was beginning to suspect he was going to be a lot more involved than he might have suspected.

He didn’t mind doing more part time hours there, obviously, but if they were looking to capitalize on things viewers had been requesting, Harry couldn’t help thinking what no one else was saying. The number one thing people ask for is more content with Harry and Louis together. These videos were also usually longer and much more involved.

Harry sighed into his salad. So much for his avoidance plan.

Niall and Shawn greeted him before coming over to sit down with him with their own lunches. InHarry’s perfect world they had a rousing discussion about literally anything other than the holiday issue.

“Well, obviously, Harry is going to end up on desserts,” Shawn proclaimed.

Last time Harry checked, he wasn’t married to David Beckham either so he didn’t have a great track record with his perfect world scenarios.

Niall protested immediately. “It might not just be one thing, though. They could have all of us develop our own individual menus to get a variety.”

Harry leaned his cheek on his hand as he absentmindedly stabbed at a cherry tomato. “No, Shawn is right, I’m definitely going to end up on desserts.”

“What’s the matter, young Harold? Don’t you like desserts? Aren’t they your _rea-son det-er_?” Harry felt Louis tap the arm he was resting on as he passed by the table before coming around to sit down across from him next to Niall.

Harry snorted out a laugh, his spirits lifting immediately. “ _Raison d'etre._ ” Harry had tried to teach Louis the French phrase a couple months prior.

Louis blinked at him and sat back affronted. “Yeah. That’s what I said.”

“At least you remembered what it was supposed to mean,” Harry admitted as he bit down on a smile.

Niall and Shawn continued on their conversation like nothing happened, but when Harry looked back at Louis he was staring at him with his goofy sideways grin.

After lunch, they all packed up and headed to the unofficial offline planning meeting so they could hash out how they would film the on camera meeting. When they first did a series like this with another set of videos they had tried to do the real planning and assignments on camera, coordinating ten different chefs with their own personal agendas. It did not go well.

Large meetings with everyone trying to hash things out always sort of overwhelmed Harry. If they weren’t going to let him come up with a plan and work out the logistical issues for everyone on his own, he tended to get a little overwhelmed.

Because there were fewer people in this meeting, they used one of the real conference rooms and when they made their way in, they filed all the way to the back where Louis drew the second chair from the end out and indicated that Harry should sit in it.

It was a simple gesture, something he had done a thousand times before. And yet Harry’s synapses were going haywire.

Nothing had changed. There was no reason for anything to be different.

Maybe if he told himself that enough times, it would eventually be true.

Once everyone arrived, Steve opened up the meeting. Almost immediately the more assertive people, like Jesy, became the loudest in the room and took over the discussion.

Harry didn’t have a problem with that _per se._ For the most part he respected his colleagues and many of them inherently knew what needed to be done when planning a new issue. It was just difficult to get a word in edgewise.

Steve brought everyone back to attention when it felt like the general discussion had begun to veer off track.

“We were hoping to have videos in pairs, and have about two people on each.” That was almost word for word what Niall had predicted at lunch. “There will be one pair that doubles up, but we already have some ideas about that and we’ll get to that at the end.”

Steve was holding himself pretty stiffly which was unusual for him, and he was avoiding looking at Harry and Louis’ corner of the conference table.

Maybe Harry was being paranoid. Maybe not. 

“But Steve, did you have a pair in mind for a specific section? How can we plan if we don’t know?”

Sometimes Harry needed to be better about keeping his mouth shut. He couldn’t help it, though. His planning brain sometimes worked overtime.

Unfortunately, he had piqued the curiosity of all his fellow staff members and the room went silent.

“Well, actually.” To his credit, Steve didn’t look the least bit awkward and was now facing Harry head-on. “We were hoping you and Louis would take dessert.”

Everyone else around the table deflated, mostly because that wasn’t all that interesting. As Niall said earlier, it was basically expected that Harry would work on desserts, and him doing a video with Louis was always going to be a draw. 

Due to his own personal turmoil, Harry was tearing his hair out and spinning around like a top, but only on the inside.

No, there was something else. Another reason that Steve was being cagey and not giving them all the information, but Harry suspected he had gotten all of the information out of him that he could for the moment.

Harry turned to Louis and when they made eye contact, he could see Louis’ tacit agreement to pretend to deliberate and leave Steve sweating for another minute.

Louis’ smile was finally beginning to break through when he finally addressed Steve. “Sure thing, Steve-O. Sign us up.”

Because they came to an agreement, the rest of the room collectively went back to deliberating who would do what for the other segments with the knowledge that Harry and Louis could still be assigned to another video.

An hour later they had a fully realized plan. Louis and Jesy were going to do the main entree—Harry was secretly excited about seeing their two very strong personalities at work. It was either going to be the best pairing of the series, or the test kitchen would implode. Literally and figuratively. 

After that, Harry and Mitch were going to do sides, Perrie and Leigh-Ann were on appetizers, Jade and Adam were going to do a whole special on what to do with appetizers and holiday pantry ingredients—another one Harry was excited for—and then Niall and Shawn were going to pair up to do holiday cocktails.

By the time they finalized their plan and discussed how to recreate the conversation organically for the camera (they all hated being so fake but sometimes it had to be done) Louis brought up a good point. Steve had told them it all needed to come together in a sort of finale or conclusion, but he hadn’t given them any parameters.

“The biggest issue I can see for our readers is that they don’t all have a big, beautiful test kitchen with thirty five ovens and a giant grill. We’re going to have to make it more accessible for the average reader who’s got family visiting and needs to stop to feed their kids while they’re doing all this.” He gestured widely to the table in front of them with all of their plans.

Harry agreed wholeheartedly. It was something he ran into a lot in pastry making for the general public. Not everyone had all of the random tools needed to make each and every dessert he developed, tested, or filmed, especially his Gourmet Makes recipes.

“That’s true. Maybe we should figure out a way to do it all in one place. With all of us. Like a real holiday weekend but in… July? August?” he trailed off as the wheels started turning in his head.

“Yeah, yeah.” Louis was agreeing softly to his left but everyone else had started talking all at once again. Harry could see Steve mumbling about the budget and digging through the papers in his sleek black folio.

Harry was running through the scenario as quickly as he possibly could in his head. He would need to ask his mom if their place had been rented, but if it hadn’t she could reserve it, and it wouldn’t be that hard for Steve to organize everything else.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he opened his mouth again. “My mom has a cabin. In Vermont. It’s mostly for skiing so it still gives off sort of a winter vibe even in the middle of summer.”

Everyone around the table cheered.

That was it then. Obviously there were a lot more logistics to work out, but he was really going to let his test kitchen family into that part of his life.

It was going to be an interesting summer, that was certain.

When Harry stepped off the train downtown two weeks later, he was feeling much more relaxed. The way he and Louis interacted and communicated stayed the same during his two weeks away, which was good. Harry was encouraged by Louis’ lack of reaction. _He_ was acting like nothing had changed, so Harry needed to follow suit.

On Harry’s schedule for the day was the filmed version of their holiday prep meeting as well as the start of a new Gourmet Makes. He was doing Twix this time, but he had already done a few different kinds of chocolate covered candy bars so he wasn’t going into this challenge blind, like he had in some of the earlier episodes..

Because it was going to be a pretty long day, and it was beautiful outside, Harry detoured on his way to the office, deciding instead to exit to street level and go to Aroma to get a better iced coffee than he could anticipate to find in the test kitchen.

Fifteen minutes later, coffee in hand, Harry badged into the Condé Nast offices feeling much more ready to take on the day. There were times—when he was on long stretches at home alone—that he missed having an office to go to every day. He missed seeing his colleagues all the time and having people to eat lunch with to break up the day. 

This time, though, he needed that time. He spent a lot of time thinking about his relationship with Louis and how it was going to change in the future. It was a two-way street, he knew, but the only inkling he had from Louis was that brief, fleeting moment when they were both drunk.

Summer blooming in the city _did_ something to people, it changed them, made their blood sing with the desire to give into the hedonism of it. It happened every year, and it was perfectly natural. That was clearly what had happened with them. There was nothing to worry about.

Harry got to bench one and Liam was there waiting for him, set up and ready to go.

“I don’t think we have enough Twix,” Harry said drily as he took in all of the boxes and the variety of Twix flavors set up on the counter.

Liam looked at him with a furrowed brow. “Don’t you think? The shot should be fuller.”

He was serious, too, which made his concern funnier. Harry shook his head before going past the bench to put his things away. Sometimes Liam was so focused on what he was doing, he missed what was going on in the rest of the world. 

These shoots were always long and stressful, but Harry usually felt accomplished at the end of them. Most of the time.

The first day was always the easiest, though, and Twix was no exception. The hours passed by quickly while he researched the making of Twix and pulled one apart. Louis and Niall both came by, as well as Mitch and Adam so they could comment on what they loved about Twix. It seemed like they were universally loved in the test kitchen, which was surprising.

By the time they wrapped up for the afternoon they only had thirty minutes left before they needed to do the holiday meal introduction. They were using a lot of the same filming equipment and Liam was directing so there wasn’t much resetting they needed to do.

Harry perched in Perrie’s usual stool at the end of bench two and played on his phone for a few minutes before his coworkers started trickling in to join him there. They were going to have to film on bench two because there were so many of them, the angle needed to be wider for the camera to even get all of them.

Harry was still checking his messages when Louis showed up, startling him when he leaned up against the bench top, completely intruding on Harry’s personal space.

“Harold, how did the rest of Twix go?”

Harry shrugged. “Day one, so not much to report.”

They were interrupted by everyone else finally gathering around the table and Liam taking the helm. He moved everyone to make it look like they were in a random order so they weren’t too close to the pairs they were going to end up in when they “decided” who was going to team up to do what.

That also meant that he and Louis ended up pretty far apart. Producers and directors did this all the time to them especially because if they were too close they always ended up murmuring under their breath and distracting everyone or messing up the audio. It was a valid concern, really.

For all that it was pretty manufactured and predetermined, the conversation flowed naturally between all of them. It ended up exactly how it was supposed to with Louis and Harry pairing up for the extra video. There was a bit of jumpiness, but Liam and Zayn assured them that they would cut the little introduction conversations into each video separately, released once a week in the lead up to the holidays, so it would just seem like one big conversation had been spliced into each one.

When the whole group “decided” on camera for them to be put together he and Louis reached across the bench to high five each other and as they settled back down Louis winked at Harry, fast enough that Harry really had to be paying attention to catch it. 

He didn’t have a chance to talk to Louis anymore than that before he had to leave for the day, but he would be back over the course of the next couple days to finish filming Twix.

“Louis!” Harry huffed and tried to reach for the blow torch. “We’re not talking about this right now.”

Louis pulled the big blue container out of Harry’s reach and put his other hand out to block his hands. “No, no. Show me. What is it that confuses you?”

It was Harry’s second day of making Twix and all he needed to do was heat up some caramel in order to fuse them to the cookie. Louis came over the way he always did and they had been having a great conversation about how to pronounce the word caramel. They had a bunch of wholesome Harry and Louis footage that Liam could use to his heart’s content. 

Unfortunately, as Louis was walking away Harry had mistakenly asked him to grab the blow torch and help him with it.

That was what had landed them in this ridiculous hot water.

Harry took a breath to calm himself down. “There is no ‘right’ and ‘left’ in a circle, there’s just clockwise and counterclockwise.” Everyone always tried to explain it to him and he never understood, and this was really the last thing he wanted to have on camera at the moment because he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Liam was going to cut it into the final edit.

“Yeah, but Harry, to start it you have to go right or left. Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.” Louis turned it to the left to let the butane flow and hit the trigger to light it.

“Alright, sure.” Harry said as Louis finally let him grab it so he could actually soften his caramel. He still didn’t understand but he got what he wanted.

Louis looked at him skeptically but still began to walk away. 

Whatever. Circles were circles, and the rest of the world was wrong.

After the caramel strips had fused to their cookies he stared at the dial on the torch. He needed to turn it off.

He turned it the wrong way and the flame grew, so he quickly turned it back.

“See? I figured it out,” he told himself more than the camera, but he knew it was still going to go in the final edit. Sometimes he really hated this job.

The next morning—the morning of day three of Twix—he and Louis promised each other they were going to get together to discuss what they were going to do before they started filming their dessert episode. 

Harry was getting set up for the day as he and Liam were pulling out all of the materials they were going to need and Louis was helping them set up the sous vide machine so he could temper the chocolate.

“What about lunch? You want to do a working lunch?” Louis asked, distracted as he paired the machine to the app on Harry’s phone.

“Yeah, that works.” 

Liam waved his arms at Harry to get him to come over. “Are you ready for Day Three?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Harry with a leading tone.

“There is no Day Three curse,” Harry insisted even as he heard Louis snickering behind him. Harry rounded on him. “If something goes wrong I’m blaming you because you set this up.”

Louis scoffed. “What? Me? And here I was trying to do something nice for you.”

“Yes, you were, and I appreciate it.” The whole area went silent for a moment as Harry gazed back and forth between the two of them, hell bent on telling him his day was going to take a turn for the worst because his fate was predetermined. “...There is no Day Three curse.”

Five hours later, working lunch plans with Louis entirely scrapped, world falling apart around him, Harry groaned and laid his forehead down on the table in front of him.

Really, he shouldn’t have been so positive at the beginning of the day especially when he knew he was going to have to temper the chocolate to cover the Twix.

That was the first place it had gone wrong. Actually, it was the only place it had gone wrong. He could even blame Louis, either, because the sous vide machine had worked perfectly. Harry just hadn’t thought about the fact that he was putting warm tempered chocolate onto frozen cookie caramel innards so the chocolate set too quickly.

Then, in the midst of it Louis had tried to come over—which he always did—and Harry had been a little bitchy with him telling him to go away and come back. They had both laughed, and Louis knew it was a manifestation of Harry’s stress, but he still felt bad about it in retrospect.

Louis had come back almost immediately when Harry told him he was ready for sympathy. He thought Harry’s direct plea for attention was hilarious, so there was at least that.

The last thing he had done was a wrap up for the camera where he explained how he solved his problem and what he was going to do the next day, and now he was decompressing.

Or wallowing in his misery.

“Hey there, half-sour. Ready to have a chat?” 

Harry groaned. He forgot his brain still needed to function enough to complete another task.

Louis threw one leg over the picnic-style seating bench so he was sitting perpendicular to Harry, close enough that their inside legs were smushed up against each other.

Harry felt a tug on his arm and let his body flop over as Louis scooched forward until Harry’s face was nestled comfortably in Louis’ neck and Louis immediately started rubbing his back.

Sometimes it was tough for Harry to admit what he needed because most of the time he was the one taking care of everyone else, but this was it. This was what he needed.

“That’s it. Come on, you can do it. Just a little bit more and you’ll be home free. Literally.” Louis laughed at his own joke.

Harry let his spine and neck roll up slowly as he lifted his head, even though his eyes were still closed.

“A little bit more, Harold. Holiday cookies. You love those.”

Harry squinted one eye open. “Are we doing cookies or cakes? Ooh, or pies?”

Louis looked at his phone where the brief was open on the screen. “This says at least two cookies, but after that we’re free to provide a variety, and they want at least four recipes.”

“Four?” Harry exclaimed. “And _two_ different cookies? Do they say why?” He had gotten the brief in his own email but he didn’t feel like expending the effort to check it at the moment.

Louis doubled checked. “Nope, they don’t say why. But they have a highlighted section where they insist that we keep a specific weekend open next month.”

“Huh, that’s odd.”

“Yeah. It actually looks like what I get when I do ‘Goin’ Places.’ Do you think we’re traveling?”

Harry frowned. “No, I don’t think so. I never travel.” 

“I guess…”

But even as he said it, the pieces began to slide into place. The insistence that he and Louis end up on a video together, the feeling that everything was predetermined, Mitch getting more air time because of comments online where he got positive feedback and people kept asking for more.

The two most asked about things in their comments always focused on more Harry and Louis content, and the fact that Harry never traveled.

He had never thought much of it because he wasn’t a full time staff member. Surely, they would reserve that privilege for them. He also did some traveling on his own for his book, so it had never really bothered him.

It had also never occurred to him that they would try and kill two birds with one stone.

“Oh my god, we’re totally traveling,” Harry was fully alert now even though Louis remained unphased.

Of course he was unphased, he traveled with Zayn for segments all the time.

For all that Harry spent the past two weeks trying to regulate himself and his thoughts about Louis, the implications of traveling with him had thrown him for a loop.

“Well,” Louis started, picking up a handful of nuts from the small bowl on the table in front of them. “We start filming in two weeks. I guess we’ll find out then.”

Harry tried to feign nonchalance to match Louis’ as he promptly shifted gears to the desserts they were going to make.

“You’re right, we should be ready to go no matter what.”

**Louis**

Watching Harry and Mitch interact on camera was an incredibly entertaining way for Louis to spend an afternoon.

Mitch was newer to the test kitchen and even newer being on camera in his own segment, but he and Harry had become fast friends so it was fun to see their dynamic play out in real time. Mitch always showed up to comment on what Harry was doing on Gourmet Makes, but he usually just said one thing and left. Or, at least that was how it was edited.

They were sweet together, laughing and joking and talking about shared anxieties, even if Mitch still wasn’t as talkative as some other test kitchen staff.

Together they were developing recipes for holiday themed side dishes and struggling. Louis popped in and out a couple of times and each time they seemed to have spiraled even further out of control with no discernable reason why.

Mitch and Harry were the second video to film in the holiday series. He and Jesy had filmed theirs over the course of a few days earlier in the week, but sides were only assigned one day of filming.

Louis and Jesy had a great time as they developed their pot roast. They had gone through different kinds of roasts with different treatments and cooking methods. It was amazing. 

He knew Harry was kind of skeptical but Louis was a fan of this format because it allowed for them to all randomly pair up with other people in the kitchen that they didn’t always get to interact with on camera on a regular basis.

They still had two weeks before they were going to film their portion of the video, partly because it had to be connected to this mysterious trip they were theoretically taking. No one had taken their bait and confirmed that they were, indeed, traveling so they didn’t have much more than that to go on yet.

That was why Louis was loitering around Harry and Mitch’s shoot—aside from the fact that it was hilarious to watch. Steve texted Louis asking him to meet him down there so he could give them a few updates together while Harry was still in the building.

Louis had his back to the staff kitchen and break room and while he was pulling his phone out to check the time, Steve appeared over his shoulder. Louis greeted him quietly because they were still filming but Steve quickly tapped him on the arm and pointed back towards the break room, so Louis followed.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Louis asked as soon as they were far enough away and Steve sat down on the bench at the break table.

“Nothing, man, but I just got called into a meeting last minute so I won’t be able to stick around to talk to you and Harry. Do you think you could give him the cliff notes for me?”

“Of course,” Louis sat down across the table from him on the other bench.

“I’m sorry about the mystery but we were trying to make sure we had all of our ducks in a row first before we told you guys what was going on.”

When Louis dismissed his concerns casually, he continued. “I still don’t have every single detail yet, which Harry is going to hate, but I can tell you guys that you’re going to southern California for the weekend after you film your segment.”

“For a holiday segment?” Louis was pretty sure his confusion was warranted.

Steve confirmed that yes, they were going to southern California for a holiday shoot. 

Louis waited a moment and turned to look back at bench one. Because of the angle he couldn’t see anything that was going on, but he could feel Harry’s displeasure, even if he didn’t know yet.

“You’re right, Harry’s going to hate this.”

Steve threw his head back and laughed before reaching across the table to grasp Louis’ hand as he stood up. “See you later, man. I got to get to my meeting.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Louis, too, stood up and returned to his perch against the wall so he could watch the rest of the shoot.

Harry and Mitch had landed on a sort of side salad that looked crunchy and fresh after taste testing what felt like everything in the test kitchen pantry earlier. They had developed two other recipes for more established holiday sides earlier in the day—a twist on Thanksgiving stuffing, and a cheesy pasta updated with winter vegetables that was basically fancy mac and cheese.

Louis really loved working at a food magazine. His coworkers came up with the best stuff, day in and day out.

As they started to wrap up, Mitch was explaining something to the camera and Harry looked up to catch Louis’ eye before flicking his gaze to the big clock on the wall behind the producers.

He was worried he was taking too long.

Louis shook his head and pointed to himself, hoping to at least reassure Harry that he had control of the situation. Harry’s mouth ticked up at the corner as he tuned back into what was happening. Message received. 

Before he could say anything else, Liam signaled to him. 

“Hey, Lou, want to come taste this?”

The camera didn’t pan, presumably so it wouldn’t catch him there lingering, and Louis was game so he idly walked into frame.

“Well, what do we have here?” Like he hadn’t been watching for the last thirty minutes.

“Squash and radicchio salad,” Harry said proudly as he handed Louis a fork to try it. 

As Louis took his first bite, Harry started telling him all about how it was a designer squash that wasn’t even available in stores yet, but it would be soon. For all that Louis inherently disagreed with using ingredients in this challenge that most people couldn’t just pick up at the grocery store, he understood that there was a suitable substitution in regular squash. Mostly he enjoyed how excited Harry was about it. 

There was something in the way his eyes lit up every time he told Louis about something new he learned. It had been that way from the very beginning when Harry first started working at Bon Appétit. Where Louis would figure out a short cut, Harry liked to really dig in and understand everything. He supposed that was why Harry was on Gourmet Makes instead of Louis’ show which was basically Louis throwing things in a fermenting jar and hoping they worked.

That wasn’t all he did, sure, but the differences in their shows was still comical. 

The salad was fresh and nicely balanced. It wasn’t Louis’ favorite if only because he didn’t love radicchio, but Harry and Mitch were excited. They pulled Perrie in as well and she was giving them enough specific feedback that Louis felt free to lean over onto the bench with his elbows and keep munching on his own.

By the time they finished filming and doing their wrap up, Louis had almost forgotten what his objective was for sticking around to talk to Harry.

After Liam called cut, Harry turned to him immediately.

“Are we meeting with Steve?”

Louis shook his head. “No, he had a meeting to get to, but he told me where we’re going.”

Harry sputtered. “And you didn’t tell me right away?”

It took a fair amount of effort for Louis to keep his laughter contained. “You were filming, Harold.”

Harry glared at him, so Louis threw his hands up defensively. “Alright, alright, next time I promise to interrupt your very important shoot with a deadline no matter how much bodily harm Liam threatens.”

“Well?” Harry prompted.

“We’re going to southern California.”

“For holiday?” Louis’ earlier confusion was mirrored on Harry’s face.

“That’s what I said.”

“And Steve didn’t give you anything else?”

“No, but he did say you would hate the fact that he hadn’t given me any more information.”

Harry crossed his arms and sighed, leaning against the big fridge along the wall. Despite their eventual success, he and Mitch had been filming all day and it had been a long, chaotic process. Harry’s nerves were probably frayed.

“Hey, hey,” Louis said softly, gripping Harry’s bicep. “Come on. You’re tired. Our segment will be fine, amazing even. And look at it this way—we get to go to sunny California! The beach! Or the pool if that’s not your vibe.”

It took a minute but soon Harry’s expression began to crack.

“There you go, Harold.” Louis rubbed up and down the outside of his arm trying to transfer some of his energy by osmosis. “Take some time away at home. I’ll see you in two weeks, okay?”

Harry blinked at him a couple of times. “Yeah.”

“Two weeks.” Louis gave Harry’s shoulder one last squeeze as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Probably Zayn telling him it was time for them to go home. “Then sunny California vacay!”

“I’ll see you then,” Harry agreed. Meanwhile Mitch and Liam were listening in and looked fully capable of taking over from there.

On the way back to Zayn’s apartment that night Louis thought about his living situation. He had basically been living out of suitcases for a while now and Zayn had been a great host, but it was time for Louis to find his own place.

He and Tyler had been negotiating back and forth since the divorce. There wasn’t anything too contentious between them, but there were still a lot of decisions that needed to be made. Louis spent a whole afternoon over at the old place the Sunday before negotiating everything in their shared kitchen. 

Now that they were no longer together it was harder for Louis to ignore some of Tyler’s more annoying traits. Everyone had faults, and his weren’t particularly egregious, but it was difficult for Louis to sit there and not rise up to arguments when Tyler kept claiming various things in the kitchen were his. He was even trying to claim things that Louis had been given as gifts.

Tyler would do this thing where he fought Louis on it for a few minutes before eventually giving in and agreeing that yes, maybe it was Louis’.

The first time it was fine and Louis took a few deep breaths before letting it go, but then it kept happening over and over again. Tyler was wrong every time. It became clear he was doing it just for the fight around the fifth or sixth time.

Finally, Louis blew up. “What do you want from me, Tyler?” 

He was on their kitchen floor surrounded by packing materials and stacks of pots and pans arguing about a dinky little wok—Louis’ first wok—that he bought in a church yard sale for three dollars. A few items had gone by with little argument from Tyler, so Louis thought they had been making progress, but when Tyler tried to claim the pan that had almost single handedly carried Louis through college, he lost his cool.

Tyler scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“This is my wok and you know that.” Louis hated how immature he sounded, sitting there on the floor throwing a tantrum about a wok that was barely worth using anymore. “So what is it?”

“Alright, maybe it’s yours.”

That was it, no other explanation before Tyler walked away from him.

This too was a side of him Louis had never seen before. The immaturity, the petulance. He never believed his mom when she said that divorce brought out the worst in people and he denied that he and Tyler would be like that because their decision had been a fairly amicable one. He had been naive. That was clear, now.

If Louis hadn’t been buried on the floor he would have gotten up to follow him, but as it was it would have taken at least five minutes just for him to break free so he didn’t.

The kitchen was the last of his stuff, everything else he had was already in storage and had been there since he first moved out. He couldn’t help but regret that he hadn’t waited for a day when he knew Tyler would be gone.

Something about that, though, felt petty and passive aggressive and despite their performance today, he really didn’t want to resort to those tactics.

After Tyler stormed out, it took Louis significantly less time to get the rest of his things packed up. There wasn’t a huge difference between waiting until he wasn’t around and packing things up when he wasn’t in the room, but at least he tried to get Tyler’s input.

As he and Zayn unlocked the door to the apartment Louis tried to do the math in his head to calculate how many days it had been since they signed the divorce papers.

In the state of New York there was a waiting period of forty-five days between signing, or filing, and finalization. He was pretty sure he and Tyler were on day thirty-nine. 

At the start of the process, he never would have believed he would be standing at day thirty-nine counting down the days. Again, it was probably naivete, but given the way he loved his soon-to-be ex-husband enough to marry him at one point in his life. He hadn’t thought it was possible, and was downright amazed that he had fallen out of love so quickly.

The question weighed on his mind for the rest of the night: had it really been quick? 

There was a lot about Louis’ life at the moment that was confusing. Everything—except work, which was a blessing—was hanging in the balance of life. The divorce wasn’t final, Tyler had changed, all of his stuff was in boxes. He was transient.

And then there was Harry.

Louis didn’t mind being transient or nomadic, he didn’t mind waiting the mandatory period of time to finalize the divorce, he didn’t even mind dealing with Tyler. But, if he really sat back and looked at his problems with a critical eye, Harry was the biggest question hanging over his head. 

They had a _moment_. One of those big life-changing sort of moments the night Eric had showed up to happy hour and found out about the divorce.

At first Louis tried to brush it off as just being drunk and living in the moment, but the more he thought about kissing Harry, being attracted to Harry, the less he was able to let it go.

He knew Harry was attractive, he was one of the most attractive people Louis knew, but he had never let himself be attracted to Harry before.

Now, there really was nothing stopping him. 

On the other hand, they were such good friends that anything he started with Harry would be serious from the get-go. Both he and Harry were definitely serious relationship people. There was nothing wrong with that either way, but Louis needed to stop and think about how pursuing his attraction to Harry would change things before he dove into it head first. Or dick first, if he was being honest.

A man had needs, and Louis hadn’t gotten laid in months. Many months.

Louis would never say anything like that out loud to Harry, though. He stopped to picture Harry’s fake offended face. 

At least Louis wouldn’t say it at first, but maybe later once they established if Harry was on board.

If _Louis_ was even on board. There was a lot to think through, but as Zayn came back from the kitchen with a plate of snacks and two cold beers, he closed the door on that train of thought for now.

**Two Weeks Later**

“What do you know so far?” The camera was rolling and Sarah was standing next to Harry and Louis holding a manila envelope, watching them with sparkling eyes.

“We’re going to southern California,” Harry glared at her before turning to Louis. “You know what this is, right? They sent Sarah so I wouldn’t get mad.”

Harry hadn’t even let Louis get a word in edgewise, but he was just along for the ride so he didn’t mind.

Meanwhile Sarah threw her head back and cackled before pointing at Harry and saying, “Exactly!”

Louis didn’t even know Sarah made those sounds.

She cleared her throat before reaching into the envelope to pull out a piece of paper.

Louis couldn’t help but see the parallels. “What is this? Am I being served?”

Despite his general skepticism about the whole thing, Harry giggled beside him.

“There is a Danish town in California called Solvang, and their annual Christmas festival is called Julefest.”

“Okaaaaay,” Harry replied, crossing his arms over his chest watching Sarah.

“Obviously it’s the middle of summer now, but in the last few years they’ve started an annual Christmas in July festival where they do some of their normal holiday activities with music, and charity auctions, and...” Sarah pulled the piece of paper out of her envelope all the way. “A holiday cookie contest.”

That sounded kind of fun to Louis, but Harry had a very different reaction. He groaned and put his head in his hands.

“You didn’t.”

Sarah ignored him. “We’ve entered both of you in the holiday cookie contest, and you each can submit two different kinds of cookies.”

Louis could see the gears turning at the speed of light in Harry’s mind as he looked at the clock and then the paper in Sarah’s hand.

“So, how much time do we have?” Louis asked, if only to break the silence of Harry’s internal meltdown.

“You’ve got two days to develop the recipes, and then a half day on Friday before you pack everything up to fly out.”

Harry was pinching his bottom lip as he thought it through, staring at the paper on the counter. “So, it’s almost ten o’clock now. Which means we have time to do two cookies today and two tomorrow. Then the half day for packing up and any sort of mistakes or anything.”

Sarah left them alone and Harry immediately flipped open his notebook to start planning.

“Alright, we need four cookies.”

“We should make them all different. Like, different kinds.” Louis jumped in, cognizant of his role in this video which was basically Harry’s hype man. He was kind of glad it was him, though, because Harry was definitely going to get stressed out, and Louis knew he was the best at calming him down.

Harry stared at him blankly for a second. There was definitely a better way for Louis to get his point across, but he didn’t know the technical terms.

“You mean,” Harry paused. “Different tastes?”

“Yeah, you know how there are different _kinds_ of holiday cookies.” 

“Oh like, a spice cookie, a chocolate cookie, a fruit cookie, that sort of thing?”

Louis knew Harry would get it. “Yes! The shortbread Italian wedding ones were my favorites growing up.” 

Harry nodded, taking notes. “Covered in powdered sugar?”

“I think my grandma’s had a glaze.”

Tucking his pen behind his ear, lost in his mass of curls, Harry started talking with his hands explaining that a lot of cultures, especially Catholic-heavy cultures had some version of it. He had eaten them growing up with powdered sugar.

“But what we’re getting at is maybe some kind of pecan shortbread.” He stopped for a moment, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger again. “Okay so my favorites were always the thumbprint cookies.”

“With the jam in the middle?” Louis had those a couple times over the years.

“Yeah, those are shortbread based too. Sometimes made with almonds or hazelnut.” Harry was scribbling wildly in his notebook now. “And we want to make it holiday-centric. What if we did pecan shortbread thumbprints with cranberry jam in the middle.”

That was certainly creative enough that Louis had never heard of it before. He had no idea how Harry pulled these ideas out of nowhere.

“Okay,” Harry said definitively. “If we want to have time for everything we have to keep going.”

“Alright. I really like a molasses cookie.”

Harry was in the zone but he must have liked the idea enough to write it down, because a minute later he was back to thinking saying, “That was easy, what about the third?”

They both sat for a minute looking around the test kitchen for inspiration. Louis’ eyes landed on Shawn who was just going about his business at the grill. Something a lot of viewers didn’t know was that Shawn hated chocolate.

“We don’t have anything chocolate yet.”

Shawn must have felt Louis watching him because he glanced over his shoulder and waved with his spatula. Louis didn’t bother telling him what he had inspired, he wouldn’t have liked it anyway.

Harry was more reluctant to write chocolate down. He didn’t say why, but Louis thought he knew Harry well enough by now to know it was because he didn’t like the idea of doing something just to do it. There wasn’t anything particularly festive about chocolate-centric cookies.

The fourth type of cookie was where they were really stumped. They talked around in circles for quite some time, trying to at least say interesting things to camera so they had some material for the final edit, but they were still drawing a blank.

Harry slumped against the counter. “Maybe we should just get mixing and then one will come to us as we’re baking. We’ve got to keep an eye on the time.”

“What if,” Sarah’s voice popped up from behind the camera where she was standing next to Liam and Kevin who was filming them. “What if you did a traditional decorated cookie.”

Harry stared blankly at her for a moment and Louis was worried she had broken his brain. “You mean, like, royal icing and everything?”

Sarah nodded.

Harry stayed quiet as he contemplated the idea. “That could work.”

Louis was afraid to interrupt. “Yeah? Classic sugar cookies?”

“I mean, we would have to do it really well. Really well.”

There was no better baker than Harry, so Louis had no doubt he could kill it. “You never do anything but, babe.”

Harry pulled the notebook towards him and wrote it down. “I guess.”

He didn’t seem as enthusiastic, and Louis wanted to lift the mood so he jumped back away from the bench. “Alright, there we go. Cookies, Mr. Half-Sour. Let’s do this.”

Harry reluctantly giggled as he too stood up and pulled out his phone, presumably to start finding the base recipes so they could get started. “Cookies. Here we go.”

The rest of the day was a blur of flour and butter. Because Harry had never made anything like their made up thumbprint cookie he had wanted to start with that one so they had enough time to perfect it over the course of the two and a half days.

They put all of their heads together at the beginning of the day finding reference recipes and ingredients would help them. The hardest part was the cranberry cookie, but Harry said he had some at home so they would try it with a different jam at first and then replace it with cranberry when they filled the final batch the next morning.

Louis maintained the whole time that he was just there to be another pair of hands along for the ride and he wasn’t kidding. 

All day he and Harry talked and measured and bounced ideas off of each other as they mixed, baked, tasted, mixed, baked, tasted.

One of the things Louis loved about Harry was that under his generally nurturing nature, he was extremely competitive. As soon as there was a hint of being able to “win” something, that became his obsession. It was really adorable to watch, actually.

Adorable was a good word for it, too, even when he was trying to be fierce. The whole time they filmed together, Louis couldn’t help letting his thoughts wander to the other night when he had been thinking about the two of them together.

A lot of his friends had been encouraging Louis to get back out on the market after Tyler, insisting that he needed to get him out of his system. Louis had been in a relationship for so long that when they started explaining apps and hook up culture and all that, he got it, he did. He understood why they liked it, but the few times he tried messaging someone it fizzled. 

He wasn’t necessarily attracted to someone through a screen, but he didn’t knock it. Being a gay man in New Yok City, everyone he knew used Grindr. But it had been different with Tyler too, they met in through a mutual friend. Louis had just always been attracted to people’s energies.

It felt like that with Harry.

The way he moved throughout the day mesmerized Louis. His curly hair was up in a bun with little pieces popping out, flying every which way. There was flour on the bridge of his nose, and a handprint on the bum of his black jeans where he hadn’t realized he was still covered after rolling out the shortbread.

The shortbread had been a whole other experience. The two of them had a big bowl of flour, ground pecans, and the rest of their dry ingredients and then Harry told him they had to massage the butter into the flour, whatever that meant.

Harry reached into the bowl and started pinching his fingers together lightly. Before he thought it through, Louis reached his own clean hands in the bowl with him.

He didn’t think he had ever been so attracted to someone’s hands before. The bowl was definitely not big enough, and they didn’t have enough room so they just kept tangling their fingers together over and over again. Meanwhile they were covered in butter that was warming to their hands getting slicker, and it was all around more erotic than Louis was comfortable with given his current drought.

Later, at the very end of the day, Harry whipped up a couple of frostings to add to the thumbprint cookies. His idea was to stripe them across the top to add a little extra sweetness and make them red with white to give them a holiday flair. He was torn though, between a standard powdered sugar and milk mixture or straight white chocolate.

Louis watched him put the white chocolate into a piping bag and tried to copy his movements with the standard, thick powdered sugar glaze.

His stripes weren’t particularly neat, but they would do.

“Now,” Harry started before they tasted them. “Keep in mind the berry jam we had is a little bit sweeter than the one we’re going to use tomorrow. I tried to add lemon to get the tartness of the cranberry but it’s not the same.”

They had a batch of cookies in the fridge—half baked ready to be filled and set the next day—but for now they were just doing smaller trial runs.

Louis took a bite of each, but he hated white chocolate so it was a moot point for him.

Harry took the same bit of each and sat, much deeper in thought. “I think we need to go with the white chocolate.”

Louis waited for him to retract his statement that was so clearly false.

He didn’t.

“Harry, we’re not showing up with white chocolate cookies.”

Harry raised his eyebrows. “Oh, yes we are. It’s got more depth and goes better with the cookie overall. Plus it sets better for transport.”

Louis couldn’t believe they had tasted the same cookies. “But it’s _white chocolate_.”

Harry smiled at him indulgently in a way that told him he was cute for trying but it was Harry’s way or the highway. “I know, Lou. I’m sorry to put you through this.”

Louis groaned but broke down into laughter. They had officially been at this for way too long.

“Come on, Harold. We should pack it up for now.”

Harry agreed and sighed before standing up to straighten up the station. 

Only a day and a half left before they could relax and head for sun, sand, and surf. That was the California motto, or something.

The second day of their cookie baking adventure started out fine. For the first thirty minutes or so.

Harry was going back over his notes and the various prep they had done before—while Louis very helpfully handed him things when he asked for them—and he discovered that they had used the wrong flour in something.

Louis was a chef, he knew the differences between flours, but he wasn’t sure he had ever been that stressed about them before that moment. Again his role was to stand there helpfully and try to make him laugh to alleviate some of the tension.

The more Louis let himself think about being with Harry in a much truer sense, the more he was slipping down the rabbit hole. 

Before, he had always noticed Harry’s extra pink lips, his lithe, lanky frame, and the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed. It was a special laugh, a noise that Louis had only ever heard him make around him where it floated up high in his voice at least two octaves above his impossibly deep speaking voice. 

All of those things weren’t new to Louis, but he was seeing everything in a different light now. He started to think about what would happen if those pink lips pressed against his, or if he ran his hands down the curve of Harry’s torso to let them rest in the little dip of his waist.

He tried to not let his mind wander too far at work, but the worst offenders were Harry’s legs. They were long and lean and perfectly toned. It was bad enough when he wore skin tight jeans, but there had been a few times the summer before at get togethers outside of work when he had worn shorts. At the time Louis had noticed but filed it away in his mind under, “Inappropriate Thoughts; Best Friend.”

Now that he had opened up Pandora's box, he was letting everything loose, even dormant fantasies.

Louis tried to force himself to focus back on what was happening around him. Harry looked defeated before they had even done anything.

“Hey, Half-Sour, we can do it,” he encouraged. “Where do you want me?”

Harry bit down on the plush bottom lip Louis had been admiring minutes before. “Ginger molasses.”

“Done,” Louis nodded.

Because of the time crunch—and the general structure given that it wasn’t an episode of Louis’ show but instead a group effort—this video with the two of them felt a lot less free. Sure, they joked around but it wasn’t anywhere close to the level of their sourdoughnuts video.

In hindsight, that was probably good given the chaos of that footage.

There would be time later, he knew. More videos when the audience inevitably asked for them, but there was some guilt weighing on him because the people weren’t being given what they really wanted.

In front of them on bench one, behind them on bench two, and over by the window they had racks and racks and racks of cooling cookies. 

They had concentrated on both the sugar cookies and the shortbread thumbprints the day before because both of those recipes had components that required them to rest overnight or just took longer in general. The thumbprints were done, as were the ginger molasses and chocolate cookies. They had broken out the really good black and dutch processed cocoa powders that Harry had used during his Oreo episode so they looked extra dark and chocolatey. 

Early in the day, and countless other times throughout the day, Harry had tried to dive straight into decorating the sugar cookies but Louis convinced him to wait until the end of the day. He knew the decorating would be Harry’s favorite part, and he didn’t want him to feel stressed or rushed while he did it. Plus, by then they could let Kevin go if they wanted because they didn’t need that much B-roll of them decorating.

Louis was allowed to help but only with the background colors. He knew where his strengths lay.

“So, tomorrow, we come in, box everything up and get on our way?” Louis knew that Harry knew the plan but he was trying to be explicit for the camera.

Harry hummed in agreement while hunched over concentrating on his paintbrush very deeply. 

No help there, then. Louis, Liam, and Kevin all laughed and Liam called cut. He knew they weren’t going to get any more out of Harry for the rest of the day.

“Psst… Harold.” 

The lights were dim in the cabin as they made their way to the west coast, but the sun was shining in through the windows of the plane.

Harry was in the seat in front of him by himself while Louis had to ride with Zayn the whole day. Zayn who had promptly fallen asleep as soon as they took off. He always did it, and Louis always resented him for it.

Not only was Louis not able to sleep on plane journeys, they usually traveled just the two of them, so he was also deprived of companionship for the whole flight. Some were worse than others, mostly the red eyes.

Zayn was going to function as their on site producer, director, and cameraman which meant it was going to be the three of them, all weekend. Away from home.

Louis was feeling reckless with the possibilities as he fought the urge to tug on one of Harry’s curls like they were on the playground. It was sticking out to the side towards the aisle so Louis could see it from where he was sitting and it just looked so springy.

“What?” Harry replied without turning around. Louis heard the distinct turn of a magazine page.

“Are the cookies okay?” They were all wrapped up and packed into cardboard bakery boxes.

“Yeah, they’re fine.”

Subject dropped, Louis waited a few more minutes before he couldn’t stand the boredom.

“Hey, Harry?”

Harry sighed and turned around fully this time. Louis could see from the spark in his eyes he was only pretending to be annoyed. “Yeah, Lou?”

“Want to play a game?”

Harry snorted at him and giggled. “Fine, but this isn’t going to be very comfortable on my neck.”

Louis wanted more than anything to swap Zayn out for Harry. “Do you think we could manage to get Zayn into your seat _Weekend at Bernie’s_ style?”

Harry laughed outright at that. “I’m not doing that.”

Louis shrugged. “Your loss.”

“And what exactly is the loss here?” 

“My sparkling wit and charming company,” Louis replied. 

“Ah, I see. I think I’ll live.” Harry turned back so his neck was no longer craned backwards. 

Louis was still bored.

Because he had nothing better to do, but he could connect to the plane’s WiFi, he browsed Instagram for awhile, sent his sister a couple of messages, and eventually turned on the screen on the back of Harry’s chair to try and watch something to pass the time.

If he stopped to think about it too much he got nervous about being alone with Harry. A distantly familiar sensation settled in his gut, the sort of anticipation that only came before spending time with a crush. Only Louis was thirty-two so he supposed he shouldn’t call it a crush. ‘Someone he was attracted to’ sounded much more adult.

Zayn hadn’t said anything specific in anticipation of their trip—other than trying to convince Louis that where they were staying wasn’t on the beach—but he also hadn’t been there that night at The Loophole to see Louis and Harry spending time together himself. 

Louis wondered if he could tell that something had shifted. Zayn didn’t give away a lot when it came to stuff like that. Louis also wondered if he should mention something to Zayn the next chance he got to try and convince him to give them some space. 

Either Zayn would be game to play wingman, or Louis would never hear the end of it. Probably both.

The California sunshine hit Louis like a beacon as soon as they stepped out of the main terminal building at LAX. He took a deep, dry breath, closed his eyes, and let his head fall back.

Yes, that was _it_.

Finding the rental car was easy and after both Louis and Harry begged him, Zayn agreed to take at least part of the route up the coast on the PCH. It wasn’t the fastest way to get to Solvang—which was somewhere north of Santa Barbara—but Louis had promised Harry a sunny, California vacation and he was going to deliver. 

They didn’t need to be anywhere until the next morning, so they had the rest of the afternoon to make their way up the coast. Harry was worried about the cookies, but they carefully packed them at Harry’s feet in the front seat so they would be right under the air conditioner vent. They were also packed with some cooling packs that were still going strong.

Unfortunately, Zayn had been right to be skeptical about taking the scenic route. The landscape around them was utterly gorgeous. The Pacific Ocean crashed against the rocks below them and there was nothing but blue sky as far as the eye could see.

Louis and Harry were the problem. Harry pulled up the map on his phone and kept listing off all of the smaller hole-in-the-wall places where they could stop to eat.

They were a bunch of unsupervised foodies, so they wanted to stop everywhere.

Eventually, Zayn simply stopped answering them and kept driving, ignoring their whines when he passed by the sign for yet another seafood shack as they left Malibu and the landscape became less and less developed.

Zayn told them the drive would take two more hours after they left Malibu behind them, so eventually they settled into the drive with Harry playing songs off his weird playlists for the rest of the way. Louis was just going to rest his eyes a bit.

When Louis felt the car coming to a stop sometime later, he was genuinely confused. Darkness had begun to fall and it looked like he had woken up in Tudor England.

“What the hell?”

Harry was midstream in his conversation with Zayn. “Isn’t it adorable? Look at all the buildings!”

The town was cute and all, but where was the beach?

“Where’s the beach?”

Zayn sighed. “I tried to tell you, man, the coast is like twenty minutes away.”

Louis was still groggy, but he knew that was unacceptable. “I promised Harold here sun, sand, and surf.”

The glare he received from Zayn in the rearview mirror was bone chilling.

They were driving through the center of the small town that was bedecked with Christmas decorations and festival signs advertising the Christmas in July celebrations that—from what Louis could tell given how many people were on the street—had already commenced.

Zayn turned into a parking lot with a sign that read “Royal Copenhagen Inn” and it took Louis a minute to remember that Sarah said they were visiting a small, Danish town so his earlier guess of English architecture had been incorrect.

Harry volunteered to go check them in while Zayn found a place to park so they could unload the bags afterwards and go directly to their rooms.

When he came back he was only holding two keys instead of three. Louis should have known that he and Zayn would bunk up, but when they traveled just the two of them they got two separate rooms. Two rooms was apparently Condé Nast’s limit. He was a little disappointed, he couldn’t lie.

The hotel was small and budget friendly, but quaint. It was also right in the middle of the town and the festival given the view of the main street from his and Zayn’s room. There was a small restaurant attached where they had dinner to go over the plan for the next day.

Exhausted from traveling and the time difference, after dinner they all decided to head to bed early to prepare for their shoot.

**Haro** **ld:** _Ready for breakfast?_

 **Louis:** _meet downstairs in five_

The night before, Louis and Harry talked about getting up early to get breakfast down the street at one of the local bakeries recommended to them by the woman who ran the inn. 

If Zayn could sleep, he would, so he was getting an extra couple of minutes before he had to wake up and check the equipment before they started filming for the day.

That left them to explore on their own. Obviously they hadn’t seen much of the town the night before because it was dusk when they arrived, but when they rounded the corner from the parking lot, Louis was surprised at how beautiful Solvang was in the early California light.

There was a bakery a few doors down with a line already forming outside of it and they figured out that it was the one they were looking for. 

Twenty minutes later with iced coffee in hand for Harry and plenty of pastries for both them and Zayn, they were back congregating in their shared room where Zayn had just started to get all of the equipment unpacked.

“Here’s your mics, Lou.” Zayn shoved the neatly wrapped bundles of wires and cords at him surprising him, to Harry’s endless amusement.

When Louis shoved a pack at Harry in turn it got sort of tangled. “Ha! That will teach you to laugh at me.”

Harry was still giggling breathlessly, struggling with the equipment.

Sometimes they had a boom on location but in this case it would be easier for them to have the mic packs. And they did have a secondary boom attached to the camera for when they spoke to other people. Unfortunately, they also liked for the mics to be as inconspicuous as possible.

Louis got his clipped and the cord hidden down his shirt pretty easily because his shirts were always a little looser, but Harry was struggling with the pack and hooking it to his belt.

“Do you have any other pants, Harold?”

Harry shook his head. His hair had dried slowly in the morning and was beginning to sport some of its usual bounciness and pullability. Again, Louis resisted the urge. Louis also resisted the urge to look down at where the fabric of his jeans stretched tight across his crotch and bum. He kept twisting in his tangle with the mic so Louis could practically see both at once. 

“I wear these all the time in the test kitchen,” Harry cried. They were usually clipped to or hidden by aprons there, but Louis didn’t point that out. “Lou, help me!”

“Alright, Half-Sour, let’s take a look.” Louis put down his phone that was violently vibrating with updates from Niall about something or other and stepped up behind Harry. “What seems to be the problem?”

“I can’t get it hooked.”

Louis hummed in thought before he realized what he needed to do. Nothing like a little awkward and inappropriate arousal around his two best friends to start his day.

“I’m going to have to pull back your waistband to get it hooked on there. That okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Harry rushed out. They needed to get going as quickly as possible so they could meet with the woman running the cookie contest.

Louis pulled the mic cord down from where it was resting against Harry’s back under his shirt and connected it to the battery pack. He took a breath before carefully pulling Harry’s jeans out by the belt loop. Once there was a bit of gap, he stuck two fingers down against the skin of Harry’s lower back until he could get enough room to wiggle the clip of the pack into the open space.

It wasn’t until he was trying to clip it that he realized he had accidentally gone too far and was clipping it inside the elastic waistband of Harry’s briefs. The backs of his fingers were brushing up against bare skin the whole way down.

Louis quickly began to adjust it without saying anything, but all he heard was Harry’s slight gasp as he fixed his mistake. Harry didn’t say anything either.

When he was done he withdrew his fingers and awkwardly patted the mic pack. “Good to go.”

Harry cleared his throat. “Uh, thanks.”

Zayn watched them expectantly. “Ready?”

Both Louis and Harry agreed before each reaching down to grab two boxes of cookies. They locked the hotel room behind them and set off into town to find the woman running the cookie contest so they could get some background on the festival.

“We’ve had Julefest here every Christmas season for many years, but a few years ago we decided to bring a little Christmas to the rest of the year. ‘Christmas in July’ has quickly become our most popular summer festival.”

“Well that just proves that people will take Christmas anyway they can get it.” Louis didn’t feel Christmassy in the California summer heat, but the woman they were talking to for the video, Sandra Danielsen, seemed excited beyond belief in her holiday gear.

What Louis could feel was Harry’s antsiness. They were going to have directed, scheduled fun walking around to the different festival activities, but before that, they had to enter their cookies into the contest. Louis was sure that all that Harry could think about was the cookies melting in the heat while they stood there talking.

Sandra explained the rules of the contest and how the competition would work, then led them to the booth where they submitted their entries.

They filled out all their paperwork as Zayn filmed. Louis submitted two types of cookies and Harry submitted other two types of cookies for consideration. 

“Now we wait,” Harry said to him, cheating to the camera.

Louis knew this was the part that would kill Harry. Not only was he competitive, he hated waiting because it just ramped up his anxiety.

“Come on, Half-Sour Styles.” Louis swung his arm over Harry’s shoulder and led him away from the table so he couldn’t just stand watch over their cookies. “Let’s go play some games.”

Louis was having the time of his life messing around all day at the Christmas festival with Harry. The whole theme was centered around beachy California with lots of cheesy Hawaiian shirts that had holiday adornments like a surfing Santa Claus.

Zayn followed them around filming as they played carnival games and painted wooden ornaments that they were able to take with them at the end of the day.

The town had truly figured out how to capitalize on their biggest asset off-season.

After they stopped for lunch, they commandeered a picnic table and went over the judges scoring sheet for the cookie contest.

“We got a copy of the score sheet that the judges fill out,” Harry turned the sheet around to flash it to the camera. “Very official.”

“And Sandra is going to let us grade our own cookies, how nice,” Louis cracked.

“Okay, the first category is flavor. Out of ten.” Harry held the pen poised above the sheet ready to record what they said.

Louis didn’t hesitate. “Ten.”

Harry tsked and nudged him with his elbow. “I haven’t even said which one we’re grading yet.”

“Oh, right.” As if that wasn’t the answer for all four of them.

“I think we should start with the chocolate ones because it’s the least on theme of any of them.”

“So you want to end with the one you think will get the highest grade?” Louis stil thought it was cute how utterly competitive Harry got.

“Duh,” Harry answered as he wrote ‘Chocolate’ under each category so they could grade them individually. “Okay, so flavor.”

“Ten.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Come on, Louis.”

“What?” Louis said, defensively. “ _We_ made them. They’re _your_ recipe. You’re a professional!”

He watched as Harry blushed, bit down on a private grin, and tried to pretend that he was being ridiculous.

“Well I think it was a nine. We used really good cocoa powder. That means it’s a nine and a half.” He wrote down the score next to the type of cookie. 

Zayn signalled them that Louis should read the next one so he leaned over to see the paper on the table in front of them.

“Uh, next is texture. Graded out of five.”

Harry hummed and put the end of the pen to his lips as he thought. “I would say five. They were nice and cakey but still chewy and moist—almost brownie like.”

Louis should probably say something at least moderately thoughtful. “Yeah, and that’s what you usually expect when you’re going for a chocolate cookie. Anything chocolate, really.”

Harry agreed and wrote the score down. “Appearance, also out of five. There’s a note here that explains they’re looking for uniformity throughout in both shape and doneness.”

“Five.”

Harry made a noise of disapproval. “I don’t know. These cookies spread a lot, and I feel like any cookie that spreads while baking is going to be unpredictable.”

“That’s fair, but I also think the chocolate and the black cocoa helps us because it’s a lot harder to tell differences in color, or if any of them got overdone.”

“That’s true,” Harry agreed before writing down four and a half. Louis wasn’t even sure the judges would use half measures but this wasn’t an exact science.

Zayn indicated that it was his turn again. 

“Holiday spirit.” 

“One,” Harry growled. 

Louis almost teased him about his bitterness towards having to come up with four types of cookies but he held back at the very last minute. “How about a three?”

“Fine,” Harry said flatly. “Two.”

“Okay, so total out of twenty-five?”

Harry quickly counted out their scores for each category. “Twenty-one.”

“Alright!” Louis pumped his fist in triumph. 

“That’s a B.” From his tone Louis could tell that Harry was disappointed, but Louis wasn’t having it.

“Yeah! That’s better than I did in school at least.”

Harry was still upset. “I did _much_ better than that in school.” 

“Well, Harold. We make a good team, then.”

Harry leaned his chin on his hand. “Do you think we’re going to get a better score than we gave ourselves?

“I hope so.”

“I hope so, too.”

Louis thought about it for a second. “If we score below twenty…” He didn’t know what the consequences would be, but he might feel a little emasculated, he wasn’t going to lie.

“Then I’ve got to get my book deal back,” Harry finished. 

It took a moment for what he said to sink in but pretty soon they were both snickering as they leaned on each other, and it was then that Zayn figured he had lost them and called a cut even though they still had four more flavors to grade.

Over in the tent where the contest was being held it was a madhouse. While Zayn was getting B-roll Sandra helpfully came over to tell them when their cookies were in the process of being judged which Louis really wished she hadn’t done. 

Harry was vibrating with nervous energy. His usual nervous tic of pinching his bottom lip was easy to spot and Louis had to point it out otherwise his lips would have ended up rubbed raw.

The more Louis thought about being with Harry the more he thought about being affectionate with him in moments like this. There was nothing he wanted more than to gather Harry up in his arms and let Harry bury his face in his neck. They had moments like that occasionally as friends, but nothing to the extent a partner would.

Louis’ exploration of his feelings for Harry were nothing like they had been with Tyler. He had been much younger then, obviously, in his mid-twenties when they first met. Their relationship had been hot and heavy in the beginning which then sort of settled into the day to day routine of a relationship.

What they had been missing, in Louis’ opinion, was that craving for affection. Tyler hadn’t been a fan of public displays of affection and had made that very clear from the beginning. Louis had absolutely no issue with it, and hadn’t really minded either way. 

But now? Now he was thinking—day dreaming—about what it might be like to walk through the festival with his arm wrapped around Harry, holding hands, kissing the back of his hand to try and ease his worry, rubbing the frown lines that had taken up permanent residence over his furrowed brow. He didn’t care that everyone at the festival would see them, but he slid a glance to where Zayn had the travel camera mounted on his shoulder. He did care if the internet saw them. He also cared about what Harry thought about it.

They had never talked about public displays of affection before in such detail. Harry might have mentioned it in passing but they had never had a conversation about it.

That brought Louis up short and he reminded himself he needed to think it through.

They hadn’t talked about it before because they weren’t together. Louis didn’t even know how Harry felt about him. His day dreams had taken off and run away with themselves, but he had no idea if taking their relationship to the next level was something Harry was even thinking about.

There were glances here and there of something more, the most obvious of which was their near kiss in front of his apartment. Louis had also caught Harry admiring his ass once or twice when he was over at the stove with his back turned in the test kitchen before. But that wasn’t proof, it just meant Louis had a nice ass which he already knew about himself.

He was brought back to reality by Harry smacking his chest absentmindedly with the back of his hand. “Lou. Lou! I can see them tasting the thumbprints.” He was whispering harshly right in Louis’ ear.

“How do you know they’re ours?”

“I don’t know, I just _know_ ,” Harry snapped.

Louis turned to the camera with a snicker. “Sorry, I never should have doubted you.”

Harry only barely hummed in acknowledgment.

Finally, ten minutes later, Sandra stepped up to the podium and announced they were done with the judging and they would be tallying the final results.

“Oh, good.” Louis mused sarcastically. “The anticipation hasn’t been tense enough so far.”

“Do you think it’s unfair that we entered the contest as professionals?”

Harry looked so worried that they had secretly cheated the lovely townspeople of Solvang, California out of a whopping one hundred dollars that Louis couldn’t help but melt and give in to some of his instincts.

He reached a hand out and drew Harry in closer to his body before wrapping an arm around him.

“No, you big softy. It’s a $100 prize, and we’ve been told the main event is really the one during the winter festival.”

Harry still looked around the tent at all the other entrants worriedly.

Not one to let an opportunity go by, Louis had to press him a little. “Plus, it’s only unfair if we actually win.”

Harry gasped indignantly and looked even more upset until he turned and saw Louis’ face. “Stop it, Lou. Don’t tease me right now I’m fragile.”

“Deal, Half-Sour.”

“I can’t believe that nickname stuck,” Harry grumbled.

“Well, it did. So get used to it.” Louis squeezed Harry tightly for another second as he pouted before letting him go.

He briefly thought about talking to Zayn later about cutting that part out of the final edit, but if he knew Zayn, asking about it would only guarantee the clip made it into the video.

They didn’t win.

Well, they won a prize, but they didn’t place overall.

Harry was torn between his competitive nature and wanting to support all of the local chefs and home bakers that had entered the contest and it was adorable to watch him grapple with it.

The prize they actually won was “Most Original Cookie.” Harry won it specifically for his thumbprint cookies. When they were giving out the extraneous superlatives and announced theirs Sandra said the judges mentioned they had never had anything like them before.

Personally, Louis thought that went without saying if they were winning “Most Original.” Harry had not appreciated the feedback.

They were back at the hotel relaxing before their dinner reservation at a local gastropub, again a recommendation from a local resident, but this time it had been Sandra from the contest.

Louis and Zayn both had their feet kicked up on their beds with the television playing something random as background noise. Harry said he was going back to his room to call his mom and sister and take a quick shower before they left and there was still a good forty-five minutes before they had to walk down the block to the restaurant.

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Zayn’s tone was deceptively laconic.

“What?” Louis’ pulse spiked.

“With you. And Harry.”

Immediately feeling protective over the situation in a way he hadn’t expected, he lied. “Nothing’s going on.”

He didn’t know why he was feeling so defensive. He had even thought about talking to Zayn about it specifically. 

“Try again.”

Damn.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Way to not sound suspicious, he thought to himself.

Zayn swung his legs over until he was sitting up and his feet were flat on the ground between their two beds. “You’re really not going to tell me?”

He almost sounded… hurt. This was a more serious conversation than Louis initially thought.

“Sorry, sorry. No. Yeah. I mean, I am.”

Zayn laughed outright at his fumbling answer. “I certainly hope you’re better at talking to Harry about this.”

“We haven’t.” Louis sighed. “Talked about it, that is.”

Zayn raised his perfectly formed eyebrows. “Are you serious?”

Louis shrugged. “I don’t know, man. I mean we’re best friends, right? And I want to keep that. I know it’s like this age-old struggle between that and wanting more.” He searched for the right answer to come down like a bolt of lightning. Nothing did. “There have been a few moments, here and there, but neither one of us has made any sort of move.”

“A _few_ moments?” Zayn yelled. It was so sudden and so rare for Zayn especially to raise his voice that Louis actually jumped. “A _few_?” he yelled again.

“Geeze, watch it. Do you want the whole hotel to hear you?”

Zayn rolled his eyes. “Dude. You’ve got to be joking. You don’t have to edit the footage of the two of you whenever we do one of these videos. Why do you think sourdoughnuts needed three parts? _Three_?”

Louis had never thought about that before. “Are we really that bad?”

Zayn slapped his hand to his head. He actually face-palmed. “Terrible.”

“I had no idea.”

The room grew quiet but Zayn still looked like he had something to say. “I was at your wedding. I know how much you loved Tyler, and probably still do in your own way. I’m not going to say that it meant nothing and was a worthless relationship because that’s the cliche, but I know that’s not true.”

It wasn’t that Zayn didn’t talk much, or that he and Louis didn’t talk about deep things, Zayn just usually didn’t make this sort of declaration. Louis sat very still as he waited for him to continue. 

“But I also think that you and Harry have always cared about each other a lot. We’ve joked around about viewers comparing you to a will-they-won’t-they TV couple and the tension is there, they didn’t make it up.”

He paused again and started flipping his phone around in his hands.

“I also think that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone that deserves you.”

When he finally put his phone down and laced his fingers together in front of him Louis could tell that he was done. “And you think Harry is that person?”

It was Zayn’s turn to shrug. “I can’t predict the future. But I know you guys are good together, and trust each other implicitly even though you’re not actually together. That has to count for something.”

“Yeah,” Louis hummed.

“So what I’m saying is, if we’re at dinner tonight and you want me to get lost all you have to do is say so.”

Louis choked on a laugh. “Yeah, thanks man.”

He checked his phone. A little less than half an hour before they had to leave. After Harry said he was going to take a shower, and Zayn now planting this seed in his head, Louis decided he would take one as well.

If this dinner had the possibility of ending up a pseudo-date, he wanted to be prepared.

When they came down for dinner, Harry looked devastating. He somehow managed to look playful and sophisticated at the same time. He was wearing an airy, silky black button up top with little white polka dots unbuttoned far enough down his chest that Louis could see the hint of one of his tattoos. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he was also wearing painted on white skinny jeans, perfect for a cooler Central Coast summer evening.

Louis was still weak for his legs. 

The gastropub had dark wood beams and fixtures and white walls reminiscent of the rest of the town and its Danish heritage. The whole place was packed, even the bar, and Louis was glad they had thought ahead to make a reservation. The waitress led them to a small, quiet corner booth in the back and they each sat on a side of the table. 

They ordered drinks first and the waitress brought them over quickly despite the crowd. Louis watched the way she flirted with the bartender and he rushed to fill their order first. She giggled and blushed like a schoolgirl before loading up the tray to bring back to them.

If only Louis could get that lucky. Workplace relationships were beginning to taunt him.

While she placed their drinks down, Harry looked at the dinner menu and started hemming and hawing over his options. Zayn in turn started making faces at Louis and subtly pointing to his beer glass.

Either the beer was poisoned, or Zayn was trying to say he was only going to have one beer and then leave to give them some time alone.

It was a toss up, really.

They had a fairly generous per diem, and because Zayn refused to stop at all of the delicious looking seafood shacks the day before, they still had a fair amount to burn, and they ordered a few plates for the table.

As they ate they made light small talk about things like the plan for the next day, what was going on back in New York with the rest of their colleagues, and what the rest of filming was going to be like for the holiday special. Preparations were well under way and Condé Nast was drawing up a special shooting location contract to give to Harry’s mom for use of their home. 

Louis found out that Harry’s mom and sister already planned on being there during the filming, and were excited to see what it was like and meet everyone. They lived up in Boston, so he had only interacted with them briefly a few times when they came down to New York.

He went up to Vermont years before when he was young on a family trip so he was excited to see it again, especially with Harry as a tour guide.

As the night grew on Louis’ ale got more and more bitter on his tongue. He had been going slow, taking it easy on the beer mostly because he was nervous. He was already having a little trouble maintaining control and he felt like he had been tripping over his words all night.

Finally, as Harry was talking to the waitress ordering another glass of wine for the end of his meal, Zayn kicked his foot to get his attention and nodded towards the back of the restaurant where the restrooms were, then pointed at Louis’ chest.

He was pretty sure that meant he should get up and go to the bathroom, but he immediately grew suspicious of what Zayn was going to say in his absence. He tried to protest, but Zayn shushed him with a glare.

With nothing left to lose, he followed his best friend, slash tenuous wingman’s plan.

“I’m going to hit the head, be back in a sec.” 

He didn’t actually have to go to the bathroom, so when he got back there he splashed a little water on his face and double checked to make sure his deodorant was still working. He also had no idea how long he needed to wait for Zayn’s plan to take effect. 

They really should have discussed this ahead of time.

When he couldn’t stand it anymore he pushed through the bathroom door back out into the restaurant.

Approaching the table, he saw Harry sitting alone, holding the per diem envelope.

“Hey, where’s Zayn?” he tried to keep his tone casual as he slid back into the booth a little bit closer to Harry than he had been before he left.

Harry looked gravely concerned. “He said he wasn’t feeling well and wanted to walk back to the hotel, but he insisted we stay and enjoy the rest of the meal. I have the cash to pay, though.”

“I mean, the meal is done. Are you sure he’s okay? We could go check on him.” Louis wasn’t sure what his level of concern should be to be believable.

The waitress chose that exact, perfect moment to bring Harry the drink he had just ordered.

“Can I get you another beer?” she asked, sweetly. If Louis had been straight, he would have kissed her.

Instead, he turned to Harry. “What do you think? One more round? Then we can go back to check on Zayn.”

Harry hesitated. “Alright.”

Louis turned his charm on the waitress. “Sorry to keep you waiting. Yes, please. I’ll have another one.”

As soon as she walked away, silence fell until they both started talking at once.

“So—” Louis started.

“Have you heard from Tyler much?” 

Harry’s question genuinely surprised him. It wasn’t exactly the best start to be talking about his ex-husband.

“Uh… Yeah, I guess. Little things here and there. Dividing up the stuff mostly.” Louis was worried that if Tyler was Harry’s immediate topic of choice, he didn’t see the situation they found themselves in—alone in a private booth for two—as very romantic.

That was until Harry brought his thumb and forefinger up to play with his bottom lip.

He was nervous. He had never been nervous before to be alone with Louis or talk about Tyler, for that matter. That gave Louis a glimmer of hope.

“And where are you guys in, you know, the process?” He waved his hand expansively in a circle.

The glimmer of hope began to grow. He was asking if Louis was officially divorced or not, and Louis was immediately curious if that was what held him back a few weeks ago when he walked him back to his apartment.

“It was finalized a little while ago, actually. It’s forty-five days from when it was officially filed as long as neither party screws it up.” 

Harry’s brow furrowed. He took his first sip of his second glass of wine, and Louis couldn’t help but notice he was sipping this one much more slowly. “Was it really forty-five days ago that you filed.”

Louis nodded and sipped his own drink. “Yeah, it was. It was before Starburst and sourdoughnuts.”

“Sourdough doughnuts.”

Louis smirked as he licked the extra head off his lip. “Sure, Harold.”

Harry waited for another beat. “How are you feeling?”

Louis looked around the restaurant. “Well the AC is up pretty high, so I’m a little chilly.” He couldn’t resist teasing him, he loved the way Harry’s cheeks turned pink and his shoulders relaxed when he did.

“You know what I mean,” Harry admonished.

“Yeah, yeah.” Louis took another fortifying sip of beer. He wanted things to develop with Harry, and it wasn’t sexy to be hung up on his ex. And he wasn’t hung up, it was just… complicated. But, he never ever wanted to lie to Harry. Except about Zayn’s digestive system, that was for a good cause.

“I think, honestly, the longer it's been since Tyler and I were really, truly together, the more it fades.”

Harry took a sip of wine and didn’t pressure him to expand on what he said, but he also didn’t say anything in return.

“We hadn’t been in love with each other, or… um, intimate… for a long time before we actually broke up. And all of the talks we’ve had during the proceedings, the things he’s said he felt about me. I don’t know, it was eye opening.”

He wanted to smack his head on the table. He wasn’t exactly doing a great job at selling himself to a potential partner by laying all of his baggage out on the table and talking about the last time he had sex with his ex-husband. 

Harry swirled his wine glass around for a moment before putting it down definitively. “Do you think…” He chewed on his lip for another moment as he thought about what he was going to say. “Do you think you would ever go back to him? If he wanted to give it another shot?”

Louis wanted to jump up and down and scream. He wanted to be with _Harry_ , he had moved on. On the other hand he acknowledged how scary it could be for Harry to take that leap given how recent his divorce. If Louis was in his shoes he would want to know too.

“I know this sounds very black and white, and might not make much sense outside my brain.” There was no better way to explain it, though, so Louis went for it. “If someone makes it clear to me that they don’t want to be with me, that’s a... Well, a turn off isn’t the right word. It’s more like an off switch for me. That’s why before Tyler I had pretty short relationships. I’m not really an on again off again guy.”

For the most part Louis had been looking at his beer or the table. Not really avoiding eye contact with Harry, but not staring him down either. This time, he wanted to make sure Harry understood.

“It goes both ways for me too. When I want to be with someone, I commit. Those three, five, eight months, or forever that I’m with someone, we’re in it from the jump. I don’t want to waste anybody’s time.”

Louis watched as Harry looked away with a shaky breath and downed the rest of his wine all in one go. Scrambling for a way to extend their time together, Louis panicked.

“Do you want to get some ice cream on the way back?” He had seen a small stand and there were some nice benches in the little town square right in front of their hotel where they could sit, he had seen them from their hotel window earlier. 

Harry stared at him for a long time before answering. “Yeah, let’s get the check.”

Even though Louis still had half a beer left he turned to flag the waitress down. She was a professional so she understood the gesture and brought it to them quickly.

Harry excused himself to go to the bathroom while Louis paid and as he was counting out the money to give to her, she winked at him and wished him luck.

Were they that obvious?

After she walked away Louis made his way to the front of the restaurant next to the bar section to wait for him, shooting off a quick text to Zayn to tell him they were going to get dessert.

Zayn sent back a winky face. His best friend was so eloquent.

Harry joined him and he shoved his phone back in his pocket quickly while Harry grabbed an Andes mint.

“Seriously, Harold? We’re about to get ice cream.”

Harry rolled his eyes and nudged him with his elbow. “My book is called _Dessert Person_ , Lou.”

“Should have just named it ‘Sweet Tooth’ and called it a day.”

Harry laughed as they spilled out onto the street. It was a nice night and the festival was in town so the main drag was pretty busy even for a Saturday night. 

Louis turned back towards the hotel to scope out the benches and saw one open one. “Hey, Harold. If you know what kind of ice cream you want, I can grab it while you save us that bench.” He pointed over Harry’s shoulder.

“Sure thing. Mint chocolate chip, please. Or really any sort of mint. Or oreo.”

Louis laughed. Of course he got this excited about ice cream. 

“And jimmies!” 

Yuck. Louis hated sprinkles. “Yeah, yeah.” He waved him off towards the bench.

While he was in line he pulled his phone out again.

 **L** **ouis:** _harry’s waiting for me. Idk man he was asking about Tyler._

 **Zayn:** _Weird._

 **Louis:** _he asked about the divorce being final._

 **Zayn:** _Make a move._

Louis looked up and stepped a few more feet closer to the service window.

 **Louis:** _you think?_

 **Zayn:** _Dude he wanted to know if the coast was clear_

 **Louis:** _okay but you have to deal with us in the car and the plane if it gets awkward_

 **Zayn:** _I can see him from the room. He’s checking himself out in his camera and playing with his buttons._

 **Louis:** _creep_

 **Zayn:** _MAKE A MOVE_

Louis stepped up to the window to order and saw that one of their flavors was mint oreo. He was pretty sure that would be okay because it was a mix of both kinds.

“Two mint oreos please.” The server turned away to scoop them before Louis remembered the worst part. “Sorry, can I also get one with chocolate sprinkles?”

The man nodded and with efficiency that could only be learned in a tourist town, dished out their ice creams. Louis passed him a ten and dumped the change in the tip jar.

Harry grinned when he looked up and saw Louis approaching.

“They had mint oreo so I went for it.”

Harry’s eyes lit up as Louis handed him the dish with the abominations on top. “Ooh!” He took his first bite and moaned with pleasure as Louis settled down on the bench next to him, again sliding a little closer than he might have before.

He couldn’t place Harry’s expression, but there was something lighter about him that had changed from the time they left the restaurant to now. There was something almost smug in the way he tracked Louis with eyes as he licked his spoon clean.

Whatever it was, Louis was sure he would tell him at some point. In the meantime, he concentrated on taking a big bite of his ice cream. 

“Zayn’s perfectly fine, isn’t he?”

Louis choked on the freezing cold bite he had taken, and he was pretty sure his life flashed before his eyes when he thought it might come back up his nose like nose milk.

Harry threw his head back and let out a loud honk that dissolved into hysterical, high pitched laughter at his reaction.

It was Louis’ favorite laugh of Harry’s and he would have appreciated it much more if his heart hadn’t dropped down into his ass. 

The jig was up.

“How did you know?” he asked after he stopped choking.

Harry’s laugh tapered off into a sigh. “I saw him watching me from your window and furiously texting someone. My guess was you?”

Sheepish, Louis rubbed one hand over his eyes. “Would you like a best friend? Mine is for sale. But I will warn you, he’s a dumbass.”

Harry hooked his hand around Louis’ forearm and pulled it down so he could see his face. He didn’t move his hand away.

“No, no. It’s okay. It’s sweet.” Harry licked his lips before letting his eyes dart down to look at Louis’ mouth.

They had been here, in this moment, before. When they were on Harry’s stoop, Harry had been the one to chicken out. Louis didn’t want to stop this, whatever it was, in its tracks, but there was something he needed to do before they went any further.

“Can you…” He got distracted by the light shining off Harry’s lush, pink lips. “Can you just hold that thought for one moment?”

Harry’s eyes dimmed a little and he went to pull back but Louis put his hand on his knee to keep him close before unceremoniously dropping his own ice cream on the bench next to him and hitting one of the pre programmed speed dials on his phone before lifting it to his ear.

As it rang, Louis turned back to Harry making sure he was just as close as he had been.

“Hello?” Zayn answered cautiously.

“Yeah, man. You have like three seconds to close the blinds.”

Louis could hear his confused “What?” as he hung up his phone, and turned his head just enough to watch and make sure he did what Louis asked.

When Zayn moved in front of the window and saw them watching him, his eyes widened and he quickly pulled the curtains closed.

Harry’s eyes were sparkling with mirth again as they turned back, noses practically brushing against each other. 

“That’s one creepy guy down. I can’t promise anything about the rest of them,” Louis quipped, softly.

Harry was the one who finally closed the gap. His lips were as soft as they looked and Louis could taste the hint of mint and cream they shared from both having tasted their ice creams.

They had never done this before. In all of their years knowing each other, they had never kissed once. Mostly because Louis was already with Tyler when they first met, and he had made his stance on commitment pretty clear.

Somehow, even though it had only been about two months since his divorce and even less time since he started thinking about Harry in this way, the sheer relief of their first kiss felt like it had been such a long time coming. He couldn’t really figure out how, but as Harry parted his lips and let Louis in, he found he couldn’t care less about the specifics.

They kissed until Louis’ lungs were burning, and he knew he had to pull away. As he leaned back, he reached up to tuck one of Harry’s errant curls behind his ear and something inside him clicked into place. 

He had always felt the urge to do that, throughout all their years of friendship, but it always felt too intimate.

As he began to lean back in to kiss him again, Harry stopped him. “Lou, the ice cream is melting.”

Louis felt like his strings had been cut as he let the tension go from his upper body and he laughed. Of course Harry was worried about their ice cream. 

“You really do have a one track mind, there, Harold.” 

Harry rubbed his hand up and down Louis’ bare forearm in a way that felt entirely too sensual for such an innocent gesture while they were sitting in a public place. “Yeah, but you think it’s cute.”

Louis leaned in close enough to give him a not-so-brief, but still chaste, peck on the lips. “Yeah. I do.”

“How about this,” Harry said as he shifted to pick up his melty ice cream. “We sit here and finish our ice cream, and then you walk me back to my room to say goodnight more privately.”

Louis mirrored him and picked his up too, though it suddenly didn’t taste nearly as good when he couldn’t taste Harry as well. “Deal.”


	3. Chapter 3

Life hit Louis hard as soon as they got back to New York. 

Almost as soon as they hit the tarmac he got a message about a lead on an apartment. The listing was for the second floor of a brownstone triplex up in Harlem, and the price was actually reasonable so he had to check it out. 

The unit itself was a little beat up, but part of the deal he was getting on rent allowed him the chance to fix the unit up how he saw fit. The landlord knew he had a background in construction, and Louis had found a couple people to vouch for him.

Harlem was a far cry from Zayn’s in Jersey City, but if he got the unit cleaned up and renovated the way he wanted to, it would be suitable for both of them once it was done and they were paying the full rent. Theoretically, he could just ride out the lease where he was, then move across the river and uptown. 

Even though the deal was in the works well before they went out to California, it didn’t hurt now that he would be much closer to Harry’s place on the Upper West Side.

Their dinner-turned-date had been incredible on Saturday. 

Nothing really serious happened between them, but they went back to Harry’s room and kissed for a while. It sounded simple when Louis thought about it, but in reality he felt like he had seen the light or something. 

When they got back to Harry’s room and the reality of what they were doing hit them, it started to get awkward. Talking it out right away seemed like the healthy, grown up thing to do, but Louis hadn’t known what to say or how to handle the conversation, so they grew stilted.

He was attracted to Harry, and there were things they needed to say to each other, but he was worried about putting a damper on the evening.

Harry finally drew close to him, circling his hands around his neck and pulling him close again.

“I know this is weird, but what if, for tonight, we just sort of… go with it?”

Louis let out his breath in relief. “I’d like that.”

Harry’s room was smaller than his and Zayn’s because it only had one bed, but there was a plush armchair in one corner under the window. By the time Louis finally begged for mercy, both of them were breathing heavily, and Harry had somehow managed to straddle him in the chair even with those sinfully tight jeans still wrapped around his legs.

The only reason Louis had to put an end to the evening was because he knew if he didn’t he wasn’t going to be able to hold off much longer.

“You’re killing me Harold,” he whispered as he squeezed his eyes shut on the striking visual of Harry licking his lips while the satin panels of his shirt flowed open, completely unbuttoned, showing off the sculpted planes of his chest. He let his head fall back against the wall as he counted backwards from fifteen and tried to think of the least sexy thing he could.

“That’s the idea.” Harry pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek, which was disorienting after the thoroughly filthy makeout session they just had. He backed off of Louis’ fly—that was way too tight for comfort—and settled farther down his thighs closer to his knees.

Louis heaved a sigh. “I should go.” He didn’t even sound convincing to himself.

Harry pouted in a way that would have made Louis’ ten year old sister proud. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”

Louis hesitated as he rubbed his hands up and down the soft skin of Harry’s arms. “I want to, I do. But we both know what will happen if I stay, and I think we should take it slow.”

Harry huffed for a moment, but began shifting his weight. His limbs were so long and gangly, and he was a few inches taller than Louis, so it was a precarious process in which Louis had to carefully guard his more sensitive areas. Eventually, he sat nestled more securely across Louis’ lap with his feet kicked over the side.

This was the first time Louis had started… anything with someone where they were both already familiar with being in each other’s physical space. They had even been in this same position as friends a couple of times before, but that had been at a few parties when they both had too much to drink. This was new and different, but refreshing.

In hindsight, the fact that they were so physical with each other as ‘just friends’ should have told them something.

Harry had an uncanny ability to curl himself into Louis, making himself smaller and tucking his head into the crook of Louis’ shoulder. Louis luxuriated in the opportunity he was given to press a kiss to Harry’s forehead and bury his nose in his soft, dense curls.

After they cooled down for a few more minutes, Harry eventually got up and showed Louis out.

When he made it back to their room, Zayn was already asleep so Louis had some time to unwind and relax.

The butterflies in his stomach were doing the samba, and he was riding high.

He had missed a couple messages so after he washed his face and changed out of his real clothes he stretched out on his bed.

Most of the messages were from his mom and siblings, and he fired off a couple of responses telling them he would see them later in the week when he drove down there before locking his phone and turning in for the night.

He felt bad that as soon as they got back to the city it was going to be go, go, go, and he and Harry would barely have any alone time together. 

Which was what brought him to the Upper West Side first thing on Monday morning.

On his way out the door in Jersey City he was up and ready to go when he passed zombie Zayn who had just woken up.

“What the fuck.” It hadn’t even been a question, more like an expression of disgust.

Louis didn’t really want to answer any questions. “I’ll see you at the office, yeah? I have to… run an errand.”

Zayn blinked at him a couple of times, his morning brain attempting to catch up. “It’s been what? Like less than forty-eight hours and you’re already whipped?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Louis shook his head as he threw his backpack over his shoulders and grabbed his key off the hook.

He was pulling the front door open when Zayn called back down the hallway. “When you get Harry his iced coffee will you get me a cortado?”

Cortados were Niall’s thing and he was trying to spread them around the office. Apparently it was working.

Louis rolled his eyes and didn’t answer him.

It didn’t matter how much grief Zayn gave him, it was all worth it when Harry came downstairs and his eyes lit up like the Fourth of July when he saw Louis standing there on his stoop with his coffee.

“You know, when you were specific in asking me when I was leaving, I didn’t think this was why.” He held his hand up to block out the bright summer sun on the horizon even though he was also wearing sunglasses.

Louis had checked his phone right before Harry came down so he knew they had plenty of time before they needed to be at the office.

He shrugged and picked Harry’s drink up off the balustrade to hand it to him.

Harry didn’t take it from him immediately, choosing instead to lean in and plant a big, over the top kiss right on his mouth. When he finally did take the first sip, his eyelashes fluttered in ecstasy. 

“Hazelnut,” he moaned.

“If that’s the response I’m going to get I’ll bring you coffee every morning, if you’re coming in or not.” Louis joked as he curled an arm around Harry and held him there in a half hug for a moment while he drank.

“Ha, ha. Very funny.” Harry said.

“I wasn’t kidding.” Louis wiggled his eyebrows, and to his delight, Harry blushed.

“As much as I love this in person delivery, why are you here?” Harry nodded in the direction of the park and they began their walk towards the train.

Louis cleared his throat. “I know we didn’t really get to spend any time together alone on Sunday, and we’re going back to the office today, but then you’ll be out. At the end of the week I have to go down to Jersey to see my family. It’s just going to be a crazy week of holiday prep, and I wanted to make sure we got the chance to see each other.”

A part of him thought it was way too much too soon, and was maybe a bit too smothering, which was something Tyler complained about early in their relationship until they figured out the balance that worked for them. But he had only ever been himself with Harry, so he went with his instincts.

Harry had one hand hooked around the top of his coffee where he was drinking it, but quickly shifted until he was on Louis’ other side, holding out his hand.

Louis recognized the gesture for what it was and his breath caught a little. Thankfully, they were coming up on Broadway which was much busier and louder so he hid it well as he took Harry’s hand and laced their fingers together.

He was thirty-two, divorced, had done his fair share of dating as a young guy in the city. He should be jaded by then, but he found that everything Harry was feeling new again.

They stood close to each other on the train, squished in with the rest of the commuters suffering in the summer heat, though they found a car with working air conditioning which was a small blessing. It was even better when Louis leaned against a pole and Harry pressed up as close to him as he could get to use him for balance.

As they approached the Oculus, Harry got quieter and quieter and started chewing on the straw of his iced coffee. 

“What’s the matter, Harold?” Louis whispered as much as he could as the train screeched on the tracks.

Harry hesitated for a minute. “I think we should keep this to ourselves for a while.” 

Louis’ immediate reaction, he hated to admit, was a defensive one. He was confused, and all of sudden his brain was fogged over with thoughts that he had read too much into what this was between them. “Uh—”

Harry nudged him. “It’s fine, I promise. The test kitchen is just really gossipy, and I’m pretty sure half the people don’t even know you’re divorced yet.”

That was all true, it wasn’t like Louis had taken out a billboard about it. He had kind of hoped people _would_ gossip about it so he didn’t have to have the conversation over and over again. The way that Harry explained it, Louis sort of understood why he didn’t want to say anything, but it was going to be difficult for Louis to hold back now that he was allowed to touch him.

They were so close their noses were almost touching as the car pulled into the stop. Harry searched his gaze. “Is that okay?” 

Louis swallowed the part of him that hated keeping a secret about something, or someone in this case that he was so proud of, “Yeah. Of course.”

They climbed in the elevator and almost immediately saw someone from the Condé Nast offices, so Louis didn’t get the chance to hold Harry’s hand again before he gave it up for a while. Was it possible to get addicted to something over the span of ten minutes?

Harry knew the person so they chatted, but Louis got a little lost in his thoughts. The whole reason Harry was coming into the office that day was to do a holiday wrap up and start a new Gourmet Makes episode before they all went up to Vermont next week. 

He understood what he and Harry had was new and fragile and weird, and it upset the status quo. He also understood that he was jumping in really fast, feet first, ready to go. Maybe he loved commitment—that certainly wouldn’t be a life changing revelation for himself—and it was too much too soon. None of that made him want to stop, though. And he was also going to have to grapple with hiding from their friends the whole time they were up doing the holiday shoot.

On the way in, Harry had told him he was excited for his filming day because he was going to start a new episode of Gourmet Makes. They were doing Pop Tarts this time, and he was glad it had something, _anything_ to do with dough. 

Maybe there was a way Louis could sneak uptown to see him later in the week.

By the time they got off on the thirty-fifth floor, Louis was mentally trying to rearrange his schedule eight different ways. There weren’t many gaps, but he might be able to figure it out before he went down to Jersey.

The first person he saw was Zayn where he was talking to Niall who was sitting on the desk in his cubicle.

“Dude, where is my cortado?”

Louis laughed and slapped him on the back before wincing exaggeratedly. “Ooh, sorry Zaynie. No time.”

Zayn glared at him as Niall’s gaze swung back and forth between them. “Did I miss something?”

Before Zayn could open his big mouth, Louis tried to think of something quickly. “Zayn is too lazy to get his own coffee and wanted me to get one for him.”

It was a perfect tactic. Niall, the drinks editor, _hated_ when Louis called a cortado “coffee.”

He too glared at Louis. “Espresso drink,” he said darkly.

Louis nodded sarcastically. “Oh, yeah. Sure. Big difference. They’re both coffee beans, Ni.”

He could hear Harry, who had been watching the whole exchange, snort from somewhere over his shoulder.

Niall hopped off his desk and grabbed Zayn’s arm. “Come on, Zaynie. I’ll make you one.”

They walked off in a huff as Harry slurped up the last of his own iced coffee from the bottom of the cup where it had mixed with the melted ice before tossing it into a nearby trash can.

Louis swung a look over each shoulder to see that the bullpen was clear. Because the cubicle walls all came to chest height, he reached between them and gave Harry’s cold, wet iced coffee hand a squeeze.

“I think Zayn got it, but I’ll catch him as soon as I can.”

Harry’s eyes sparkled in the morning sun that was reflecting off the buildings and streaming in through the windows. “Thanks, Lou.”

Louis winked and gave him another squeeze before dropping his hand for good. “No problem, Half-Sour. Let’s go make the big bucks. I’ve got to get you to Liam before he hunts me down and kills me.”

A few days later, that Thursday afternoon, Louis had cranked the radio up as he and Zayn cruised down the Jersey Turnpike. They got special permission to leave early to try and beat traffic out of the city. 

Louis was heading down to see his family because it was his sister Lottie’s twenty-fifth birthday so they were having a good old fashioned family cookout. Zayn had decided to join him at the last minute. 

After he and Harry had their talk on Monday morning, they tried to meet up to spend some time alone together, but it hadn’t been in the cards. Louis had to remind himself more than once that it was normal to not spend every minute together when a relationship was so new. He had to remind himself so often that he caved and enlisted Zayn to help him.

Zayn’s first job was to convince him not to invite Harry to Lottie’s birthday party.

“Yeah, you can’t do that,” Zayn said when Louis first floated the idea.

“Why? Harry’s great, and he’s met my mom before.”

Zayn crossed his arms over his chest. “Louis. He’s met your mom, sure, but not as your boyfriend. Wait, are you even ‘boyfriends” yet?”

“I mean… Uh… Well, we haven’t—”

“Right,” he nodded to himself. “I thought so. Look. You’re a romantic and I admire that about you, I do, but take a breath. It’s not fair to you or to Harry to have him be thrown to the wolves before you’ve even been on a real date.”

“Yeah, I guess—”

“Also, isn’t this your first family function without Tyler?”

That startled Louis. He hadn’t even thought about that particular milestone. It really _was_ his first family function since the divorce was finalized.

“I know Harry will love your family, and they’ll love him, but give it some time.”

Louis groaned and threw himself back on the couch. “You’re right.”

“Look on the bright side, Lottie will be the center of attention, and they’ve known about the divorce for so long now, they might not even mention it.”

“Woohoo!” Lottie yelled from the front porch as soon as Louis and Zayn opened the car doors. “Louis’ single!” 

There were a few more whoops and yells from the side yard but he couldn’t see who they were from because the fence blocked his view.

“Oh, they probably won’t even mention it,” Louis said snidely under his breath as he and Zayn dodged the rest of the cars in the driveway on their way to greet everyone.

“I was being optimistic.”

Lottie had a red solo cup swinging precariously in her hand. “It’s my birthday!” 

Louis laughed, pulling her into a hug. “Yes it is, and I can see we’re already celebrating.”

His mom, Jay, stepped out the front door down onto the porch to join them. “Hey, lovey.”

Louis stepped into his mom’s arms and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as the feeling of coming home washed over him. “Hi, Mom.”

After Lottie and his mom both greeted Zayn as well, they got immediately pulled into the kitchen and put to work. Zayn always liked to use the excuse that he was just the camera guy and wasn’t a great chef, but his mom wasn’t having it.

All told Louis had six siblings; Lottie, Felicite, the twins Daisy and Phoebe, and the second set of twins Doris and Ernest.

Louis had only been back for about fifteen minutes when he turned to Zayn.

“You were right. This is a lot.”

Zayn probably would have found it funnier if he hadn’t been drowning in unpeeled asparagus.

Friday morning, the house was quiet. Everyone was asleep, including the youngest twins, after the long night they had all had.

Louis took advantage of the open shower but not before checking the texts Harry sent him the night before checking in on his trip.

The cookout had been everything he missed about being home in the summertimes. Good food, good drinks, they lit the fire pit, played games, and various family members and friends had dropped in and out all night. Lottie and her friends hadn’t gone to sleep until at least three, and even the younger kids had pushed it.

Louis wasn’t as dependent on coffee as a lot of people in his life, but he decided to get a big pot started in the old fashioned drip coffee maker so it would be ready when everyone else got up. It was just starting to drip as he pulled out some eggs and spinach for breakfast.

When he closed the door of the fridge, his mom was standing there leaning against the wall.

“Morning, Boobear.”

Louis groaned. “Mom, I’m thirty-two.”

Her long brown hair curled elegantly around her shoulders and he could see where her mascara had smudged a little bit, and she still looked beautiful in the morning sunlight. Even wearing one his ratty old soccer t-shirts and cotton shorts. She had worn the same basic pajama-uniform since he was a kid.

She smiled at him indulgently, but ignored his complaints. “Thanks for getting the coffee started.”

She climbed onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar and watched him as he whipped them each up a spinach omelette. “What a treat to actually get to try something you make.”

Louis paused as he watched the egg cook. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I watch all your videos all the time and it looks so good but I never get to eat any of it.”

“You watch the videos?” he asked. She had mentioned it before, but never so pointedly indicating that she watched each one.

“Of course, you’re my boy. I watch yours, and the ones you show up in all the time…” her tone was leading somewhere, and Louis was immediately on high alert.

“Oh?” he asked.

“Yeah, I just love the ones with Harry in them. I almost always get to see you.”

Louis sighed and hanged his head. “Did Zayn tell you?”

His mother smirked as Louis plated her omelette and handed it to her while pouring the eggs for his own.

“Tell me what, dear?”

She was going to make him say it. “Harry and I are really good friends, we always have been.”

“I know that,” she was now being outright patronizing. “I met him last time we were there.”

Louis didn’t answer if only because he didn’t know what to say. The pan was already hot when he started the second omelette so it cooked much faster than the first one. Soon, he was sliding it onto a plate and his mom was patting the chair next to hers on the corner of the island.

“Come on, tell me what happened.”

He shrugged as he dug into his food. He wasn’t sure why he was so reluctant to talk about Harry, maybe it was Harry’s desire to keep things underwraps, or maybe Zayn had scared him more than he intended.

“When we went to California, we ended up talking.”

“Just talking?”

Louis choked on the bite he had taken. “I mean no, but nothing really happened.”

Jay nodded as she finished off her own breakfast and pushed the empty plate away from herself. “You know I support you, and I’m sorry things with you and Tyler didn’t work out. This just seems fast, with you and Harry.”

It was, she wasn’t wrong. She always maintained that she liked Tyler, and had been genuinely upset when Louis told her they were getting a divorce, but they hadn’t really talked about in a big picture, life plan sort of sense.

Louis sat back in the chair as he thought about it. “It is, but it isn’t at the same time. I mean, you said you’ve watched all the videos.”

“You boys definitely have some chemistry, I’ll give you that.”

Louis smiled to himself, but if his mom caught him she didn’t say anything. “We do, yeah. It’s more than that, though. When Harry first started there I was already with Tyler. We’ve been friends for a long time, it just felt like a natural next step. Once I started thinking about it I couldn’t stop.”

He took his last bite before getting up to clear their plates. “Sometimes, I can’t help but think about what would have happened if Tyler and I had broken up. If Harry and I might have had a chance earlier in life.”

His mom had been married three times, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she felt the same way about her own experience.

“Boobear, you can’t let yourself think like that. Your relationship with Tyler might not have worked out, but that was what was right for you at the time.”

It wasn’t the most satisfying answer she had ever given him, but he appreciated what she was getting at.

“How does Tyler feel about all of this?”

Louis frowned. “What do you mean?”

“About you moving on so quickly.”

“I don’t really see how it’s his business,” Louis pointed out, a little bit put off by the idea he needed Tyler’s permission to move on with his life.

“Woah, there. Down boy,” his mom chuckled. “I’m not saying anything about how you’re handling everything, my question was more broad. Is he moving on as well? How have the two of you been communicating?”

“We were pretty good in the beginning, but it’s faded a bit. Gotten harder and a little more contentious as we split the stuff up.”

She nodded and tucked her hair over one shoulder. “I’m not saying you owe him anything. But you have a lot of mutual friends, and being blindsided by a new relationship has the potential to add fuel to a fire that you didn’t even know existed.”

“You’re saying I should talk to him about Harry?”

Louis thought about how he might have felt if Tyler had a new boyfriend immediately after they divorced, especially a close friend. He might think Tyler had been with someone while they were still married.

“Only if you want to, but I can’t promise it will end positively.”

“Thanks, mom.” Louis whispered as they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. 

“‘Course, Boobear.” She plopped a kiss on his forehead before pulling out a singular cereal box and seamlessly handing it to Ernest who blearily took it and started pouring it into a bowl.

Even after seven children, his mom was still some kind of sorcerer knowing what each one of them needed at any given time.

As more footsteps pounded and the kitchen began to bustle with life and groans for a hangover cure, Louis pulled out his phone and texted Tyler.

 **Louis** : _Want to get coffee on Monday?_

**Harry**

For the second Monday in a row Harry came downstairs from his apartment to find Louis waiting for him with iced coffee.

His heart flipped over in his chest when he saw him leaning up against the balustrade, messing with his phone. Nothing in the world could have prepared him for _this_ side of Louis Tomlinson.

It was beautiful, picturesque, romantic, all of the above. For about ten seconds.

There was something different about Louis today versus last week, he was distracted.

“Good morning,” Harry said as he shut the heavy front door behind him.

Louis was much less effusive than last week when he looked up, but broke out into a grin anyway. “Morning,” he replied as he reached for the coffee and presented it to him.

“Is everything okay?”

Harry was more than happy for the escort downtown, he was downright ecstatic, but not if it was going to be at the expense of Louis’ sleep schedule.

Louis hooked his arm up behind his head, scratching at the back of his neck. Harry had enough ex-boyfriends to know what that meant, had known _Louis_ long enough to know what it meant. Nothing good.

“Yeah, fine,” Louis sighed as he let his arm drop.

Harry lifted the straw to his lips and took a sip of his coffee. “Cool, could you not lie to me this time?”

The cool liquid hit his taste buds. He really didn’t know where Louis was stopping in to pick it up, but it was heavenly. Last time Harry had been too starry-eyed to ask him where he got it.

As Louis tried to formulate his answer Harry thought about what it meant that they were starting a relationship already knowing each other so well. All of his ex-boyfriends were from chance meetings, dating apps, mutual friends, that sort of thing. He had never dated such a good friend before, and he was discovering a benefit right away. Transparency was certainly easier.

Louis blew out another breath and fiddled with the straps of his backpack. “Sorry, yeah.”

Harry didn’t know what Louis was like in a relationship, but he took a chance that he was something like Louis the best friend. Instead of leaning into the hurt feelings he felt rising up, he pushed through and tugged at Louis’ wrist until he let go of his white knuckle grip on the strap.

The gesture visibly pulled Louis out of his head a little bit and he looked startled as Harry laced their fingers together again. Thankfully, it had the desired effect and his shoulder muscles started to relax. 

“I’m sorry we didn’t have any time together last week before I went to Jersey,” he started.

Harry shook his head as he continued to sip. “That’s alright. It’s a crazy time, we knew that was going to happen.”

Louis tugged at the beanie with his free hand. “I know, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to take you out for real.”

There his heart went, skipping again. Harry tried to get a handle on it because he was afraid the conversation was only going to get worse.

“When we get back next week?” Harry suggested. They were all heading up to the mountains in the morning and people were going to stay for various lengths of time through to the weekend if they wanted. Louis still hadn’t given him a solid answer on how long he was staying, but that was fine. Harry didn’t need to plan. He could be loose. 

He was terrible at being loose and absolutely did need a plan, but he was trying not to be too much too fast with Louis. Though, Louis knew him, so it wouldn’t be a surprise.

“Yeah, yeah.” Louis was distracted again.

“What’s the other thing you have to tell me?” Harry asked bluntly.

Louis let out a shallow laugh. “I’m getting there, Harold. It’s kind of awkward and weird. I’ve got to build up to it.”

“Okay, well I’ll just be here whenever you’re ready.” Harry squeezed his hand as they went down into the station and swiped their cards to get onto the platform.

They joined hands again as they waited, Harry trying to remain calm while he enjoyed his coffee. He was enjoying it so intently he was going to give himself a brain freeze.

The train appeared at the beginning of the tunnel and pulled into the platform. The noise dissipated as the doors slipped open for passengers to load onto the car.

They situated themselves almost exactly the same way they had been standing the week before, squished up against each other surrounded by a million other commuters. With their bodies pressed together like that, Harry let his mind wander. 

It was great that Louis was being a gentleman, Harry was glad he was the same person in a relationship that he was as a friend and all, but he was getting pretty impatient. He thought back to the weekend before in California when they were making out in Harry’s hotel room. Even through his jeans Harry had been able to feel how into it Louis was, and it was a crime that they hadn’t had the chance to take the physical part of their relationship any farther.

This was not something Harry should be thinking about on the subway.

“I’m having coffee with Tyler today.”

“What?” Harry couldn’t help that his hackles rose almost against his own will.

Louis let his head drop against the metal pole for a second before he looked back at Harry. “There’s some stuff we have to talk about, so we’re going to meet up this afternoon.”

There were so many things running through Harry’s head at that moment, he wasn’t sure, “But you don’t really drink all that much coffee,” really encapsulated his thoughts very well. It was a shame his brain to mouth filter was a little slow on the uptake.

Louis chuckled under his breath, squeezing Harry’s hand in his grip, which all of a sudden felt hot and stifling Harry’s stomach began to churn and he became aware of just how many people they were surrounded by in the car. He couldn’t decide if Louis was about to tell him he was going back to his ex or not. He had talked about wanting to take Harry out, and had pulled him closer. Those had to be signs in his favor.

“When I was in Jersey, my mom said a couple things to me, and it really seemed like time to sit down with Tyler and hash a few things out.”

Louis seemed visibly more relieved, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he was looking at Harry so expectantly. Clearly there was something Harry was missing.

“But, I mean, don’t you see him pretty often? Like to do the kitchen stuff and help him move stuff out?”

His shrug was nonchalant, and Harry was glad _he_ was more relaxed, but could have stood not having been the one to take on the burden of the tension instead. 

“Yeah, I mean I’ve seen him every couple weeks I guess. But, there are more things to talk about.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry bit his tongue, but he couldn’t help but wonder how many more things there were to talk about. He had never dated someone with an ex-husband before, and he didn’t know Tyler all that well so there was always the potential for him to be one of those exes that just kept pulling Louis back in over and over again.

Louis was loyal. Louis was loyal to a fault, and he had been _married_ to Tyler. Harry couldn’t compete with that. That argument always seemed sillier in movies, but in real life, in the moment, it was a looming thought.

As the train pulled into the station, Louis reached his hand up to comb his fingers through the escaped curls at Harry’s temple and tucked them behind his ear.

“I love being able to do that now,” Louis whispered as the other commuters came to life around them to get off the train.

Just like that, some of the knots in Harry’s stomach loosened.

As they let the people around them out first, Louis took it one step forward and lifted their hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of Harry’s hand.

When he let go, he gave Harry a heated look as the crowd bottlenecked at the stairs to get above ground. “I had to get one last taste before I can’t do that for a while,” he said as the crowd cleared enough for them to get through.

They kept their distance until they were in the Condé Nast elevators. There were a few other people that got on with them but no one Harry recognized. He tried to remain inconspicuous but gave into the temptation to turn and look at Louis once. Louis was already watching him and winked.

Winking was cheesy, saved for finance bros in bars just starting to explore their homosexual tendencies that they ignored in college. No one should be able to pull it off and look as hot doing it as Louis did.

Louis charmed Harry enough to scramble his brain which ended up being a blessing when he got set up to start filming the second day of Pop Tarts.

He had the bulk of the work ahead of him for the day making the first couple of tests of all of his components; the pastry, jam, and frosting. Last Monday, on the first filming day, everyone kept stopping by and saying he needed to be able to toast his final product, and he still wasn’t sure what the science behind that was going to be yet. 

Louis walked in step with him as they approached the test kitchen. When they were texting the night before he said he had a full day of planning meetings and packing ahead of their trip to the mountains the next day because he had to make sure all of the ingredients they needed were sourced and ready to go.

Right before they parted ways, Louis gave his wrist a squeeze. 

The knots that had begun to ease continued to relax by the minute as long as Louis was there, but soon after that Louis left. As Harry went about working on his Pop Tarts pastry dough, the thought of Louis going out with Tyler kept coming back again and again to plague him.

Louis passed by him a few times throughout the day but never long enough to stop and say anything or chat for the camera. 

He was busy, and Harry understood. As the thought turned over and over in his brain, the thought he kept coming back to was, why? Of all the things to talk to Tyler about, what was so urgent that Louis had to fit him into his crazy schedule for that day in particular?

Soon, unbidden, a new thought popped into his head. It was petty, not a thought Harry was particularly proud of, but once the seed was planted in his brain he couldn’t let it go.

If Louis was going to go talk to his ex-husband, then Harry deserved a little morsel of his time, too. Especially if they were going to be trapped with all their colleagues for at least three days after this with, if possible, even less time to themselves.

A plan emerged.

While he was waiting on the jam filling to finish setting after his lunch, he texted Louis.

 **Harry:** _Do you have a minute?_

 **Lou:** _sure_

He didn’t know where Louis was in the building at that point.

 **Harry:** _Hallway? On 35?_

 **Lou:** _five min_

Harry needed to time his exit perfectly. He didn’t want anyone to be too suspicious, so he had to physically hold on to the bench as he watched the clock tick by until the very last possible second.

“Hey, Liam, while we wait for this I’m going to take a bathroom break.”

Liam, who was concentrating hard on his email, murmured his agreement. 

Harry took off his apron and mic pack and laid them carefully over bench one as he rushed out to the back hallway and prayed no one was filming back there.

Louis was already there waiting for him looking unbelievably good leaning against the wall with the ends of his hair escaping the bottom of his skullcap and his stubble glistening in the terrible artificial lighting.

“Hiya, Harold. How’s Pop Tarts.”

Harry didn’t bother saying anything as he grabbed Louis’ arm and dragged him into the small, hidden one seater bathroom, locking the door behind them in one fluid motion.

“What’s all this?” he asked as Harry backed up towards the counter and hopped up until he was seated with Louis standing in between his spread legs.

“No time,” Harry breathed as he pulled him in closer by his apron.

Always quick on his feet, Louis slotted their mouths together fiercely, bracing one hand on the mirror behind him while digging the other into the hair at the nape of his neck. Secretly, Harry was glad he had decided to take his hair down before coming out here.

As Harry lost himself in the warmth of Louis’ body, he loosened his grip on the canvas of his apron, absentmindedly smoothing it out over Louis’ chest as he nipped at his bottom lip begging to be let in. Harry fell back against the mirror, the hitch of his breath as his back hit the cool glass opening his mouth enough for Louis to deepen the kiss.

Harry had to go back to filming and Louis had to leave and for all intents and purposes this had been a terrible idea. He would have been annoyed with himself except for the fact that his whole body was tingling with pleasure and he was pretty sure all Louis had to do was whisper his name a couple of times to send him melting down to the floor.

The bathroom was a little tight, unfortunately, and just as Harry could feel his own internal clock ticking past the acceptable amount of time for him to have been gone, Louis brought his elbow up to shift his weight. Whatever he did, he managed to set off the motion detector on the paper towels, startling them both.

They were still for a heartbeat, listening as their pulses evened out, before Louis broke down laughing. He was still cupping Harry at the nape of his neck where he had pulled him to his chest to save him from the perceived threat of the dispenser. Harry could feel him nose into the crown of his head as his breath fanned across his curls, and let his own nervous laughter loose.

“Geeze, Harold. Warn a guy before you assault him in the bathroom next time,” he said as he let Harry go and they began to untangle.

Harry leaned back against the mirror again, feeling particularly cheeky and accomplished as he studied the flush of Louis’ cheeks and his bitted-red lips. “Did you not like it?” he asked.

Louis shot him a dark glare. “You’re going to be the death of me,” he mumbled as he pulled back to right himself.

Harry watched him reach a hand underneath his apron and adjust his jeans. “I’ve got to go first or Liam will send out a search party.”

“Yeah, I’m going to need a minute anyway.” Louis looked up sharply. “Wait, you’re still filming?”

Harry pressed a brief, but soft kiss to Louis’ lips. “Text me when you get home,” he whispered. Louis agreed, and Harry slipped out of the bathroom back down the hallway.

If there was any justice, Louis would be thinking about him all through his chat with Tyler now.

Later that night, after Louis texted him, Harry was attempting to extract information from him. They were headed up to the mountains first thing in the morning, and Harry had been packed for a few days, but Louis was a bit more of a fly by the seat of his pants packer.

It was fine, Harry knew that about him, but it meant he was distracted and only answering sporadically. 

**Harry:** _How was this afternoon?_

 **Lou:** _alright_

 **Harry:** _Just alright? What did Tyler want?_

 **Lou:** _well I was the one that asked him to meet up_

Harry sighed and flopped back on his bed. Talking to this man over text was like pulling teeth sometimes.

 **Harry:** _I didn’t realize._

Maybe if he was vague enough in response, Louis would get the picture.

 **Lou:** _Idk I expected it to be rough but it wasnt great_

Harry had no idea what the hell that meant.

 **Harry:** _Sorry :(_

 **Lou:** _Hearing your ex is dating someone isn’t the best news to hear._

Just like that morning on the train, Harry could physically feel his hackles rise. Why, of all people, would Louis admit to Harry that he was jealous of his ex dating someone? They were best friends, obviously, and Harry was a big proponent of honesty with one’s partner, but this sort of felt like a knife to the chest.

He tried to keep it casual.

 **Harry:** _Tyler is dating someone?_

There was a much longer lull between messages this time. Five minutes. Ten minutes. The phone rested on the comforter in front of him where he was pretending to read, and as soon as his phone screen went dark he would unlock it again.

 **Lou:** _no?_

 **Harry:** _You just said it wasn’t great hearing your ex was dating someone_

Again, there was no response for a few minutes.

Harry was staring so hard at his phone on his comforter he was convinced he was going to light it on fire like he was Matilda or something.

It was that level of concentration that made it so easy to startle him when his phone started ringing with a FaceTime call.

His heart lurched and he wasn’t willing to admit how high he jumped in surprise.

The screen showed one of Louis’ promo pictures from the Bon Appétit website, a nice one where his face was in stark contrast and his jawline and cheekbones looked like they could cut glass.

Harry ran a quick hand through his hair to neaten it up before he swiped to answer the call. When the image appeared he could see Louis lying on top of his bed still clothed, his beanie-less head indenting the pillow.

“Hi?” Harry started when all Louis did was sit there staring at him.

Louis’ eyebrow quirked up and he was smirking like the cat who ate the canary.

“Louis?”

“It’s me, Harry. I’m the ex who is dating someone.”

All of a sudden, the light bulb went off. Earlier on the train when he said he had seen Tyler often enough but there were, “more things to talk about.” Louis meant _him._ Harry was the thing they needed to talk about. Because Louis was seeing someone.

He and Louis were seeing each other.

Harry covered his eyes with his freehand and groaned. “Oh my God.”

Louis laughed low in his throat and when Harry split his fingers apart so he could see him, his eyes crinkling at the corners with the force of his grin.

“Was that what the session in the bathroom was about today? Were you… jealous?” he said the last word in a heavy stage whisper.

Harry let his head drop and groaned again. The rest of the conversation came trickling back, piece by piece. “Wait, did you talk to your mom about us?” 

Louis immediately clammed up. “I mean, yeah. I tell her about important things.”

Harry was such a goner for this man. They hadn’t even slept together and he was telling him things like this. He was pretty sure if he had ever had ovaries they would have just exploded.

“That’s… That’s really nice.”

Louis shrugged on the other end of the line, playing with his bangs, something he did when he was uncomfortable in a situation.

“Okay, so now that we’ve established I’m an idiot, what did Tyler say?”

Louis kept messing with his bangs. 

“He was… I mean he was reasonably upset, I guess. Didn’t like that I was telling him.”

Harry didn’t want to say anything that would imply he was questioning Louis’ judgment, but he was a little bit. He wasn’t sure he would have jumped straight to telling his ex about someone new.

“Why did you decide to tell him?” Harry realized this was going to be a longer conversation, so while Louis thought about it, he rearranged his pillows and leaned back against his headboard, getting more comfortable. 

“It was something my mom said, actually. I’m not sure how much I’ve told you about her, but she’s been divorced twice before. Married three times.”

“What did she say?”

Louis folded one arm up behind his head and Harry found that more than anything he wished they were cuddling right now. He would give anything to curl up and lay his head on Louis’ chest like that. They had done it as friends before, there was nothing stopping them, but somehow now he felt tentative. He needed to keep himself in check.

“She said it might be better if I tell him so he won’t be blindsided later on down the road.”

For all that Harry was trying to control himself, it was hard when Louis kept saying things like that. None of his ex-boyfriends just came right out and used language like that, implying things like long term commitment. This was not what all the movies told him was going to happen when he dated someone. Harry was unprepared.

Which was why he was weak to the question sitting on the tip of his tongue. “You think there’s going to be a later on down the road?”

The question was so needy that for a moment he wallowed in the embarrassment of it.

Louis’ smile quirked up. “I mean, I know we haven’t talked about anything. But I think so, yeah.”

Harry purposefully looked away while he blushed to avoid eye contact. He was developing a serious vendetta against the person who invented FaceTime. 

“Okay,” he choked out.

Louis laughed at his suffering. “That’s all I get? Okay?”

Harry threw up his free hand, exasperated. “I don’t know, this all happened so fast. One day it was like you were my best friend and then the next day we were kissing and you were bringing me iced coffee. Is it weird to have you sign something that says even if we break up you’ll keep doing that?”

“I can be a lot, I know.” Louis’ expression sobered. Harry wanted to curse whoever made him feel like he had to apologize for being such a romantic who felt secure in his convictions. Probably Tyler. He didn’t want to be petty or uncharitable… anymore… but he really wouldn’t mind if Tyler moved to Thailand or something.

“No, no. I like it. I like it a lot. I like _you_ , it just feels like I’m trying to catch my breath.”

Louis nodded. “You can catch your breath this week. I’ll be down at the bed and breakfast with the rest of the cast and crew.”

“I know,” Harry pouted. It was his own idea to keep to themselves for a while, so he really couldn’t fault Louis for respecting his feelings and honoring his wishes.

“It’ll be great. I’m excited to see the house up there.”

“I’m excited to show you around. I think I’m going to stay through to the weekend, too.” Harry was still hoping Louis would confirm he wanted to stay as well, but he said nothing.

“It’s getting late, I should finish packing.” 

“Mmkay,” Harry didn’t really want to get off the call, but he acknowledged that he was probably more prepared than Louis.

“See you bright and early tomorrow?” 

Harry finally remembered to ask him about the coffee. “Hey, wait. Will you get me one of those yummy coffees? Where are you finding those anyway?”

Louis looked somewhere off to the left and there was a distant thump. “I don’t think I’ll have time for that place, but I will meet you at the office coffee in hand. Promise.”

“Yeah, but where is it?” Harry persisted.

Louis just shook his head. “Let me maintain some mystery, Harold. Want to be able to treat you.”

It was tough to argue with something that cute. “Fine.”

“Goodnight,” Louis called again.

“‘Night.” Harry forced himself to hang up the call otherwise they could have kept going all night.

When the call ended he saw a few more text messages from his sister pop up in his notifications. He really should answer her, but he really didn’t want to after that call.

He flipped himself over onto his stomach until he was starfished across his mattress and groaned into his comforter. He was such a goner for Louis, it was unfair.

The next morning, as promised, Louis and Zayn were both in the crowd of Bon Appétit employees lingering outside One World Trade Center and Louis was holding an extra iced coffee.

“Bless you,” Harry said as he grabbed the coffee and took a sip before Louis had even let go of the cup.

Unfortunately, because he only had eyes for the beverage descended from the Gods, he missed that Niall was standing there with them.

“Rude,” Niall quipped. “Did you just steal Louis’ coffee?”

Louis scoffed. “Since when do I drink giant iced coffees like that, Ni?” 

“I don’t know, you were holding it. I wasn’t going to judge.”

Harry kept drinking while Zayn watched Louis squirm.

There were three white vans lined up in a row with equipment cases lined up on the paved loading area next to them. Aside from the ten of them on camera, they were bringing crew, as well as a digital content manager, a food stylist, a photographer, and all of the food. 

As far as Harry could tell, two of the vans were for people and one was for food.

“I’m about to say something I haven’t said since I was about twelve,” he whispered to Louis as the four of them stood there watching Liam direct the chaos.

“What’s that?” Louis leaned in to hear him without taking his watchful gaze away from all of the coolers he had packed the day before.

“Sit next to me?”

Louis straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest, settling into his strong manager stance. “Of course.” And then he winked again. 

They were going to have to have a talk about the winking and how dangerous it was.

Once everyone’s bags had been packed, Liam started arranging the seating. “Some people are going to have to take the back seat. It’s a little bit smaller but we have enough room to just put two people back there instead of three.”

Louis raised a hand. “Me and Harry’ll sit back there.”

Liam turned to Harry. “You okay with that?”

Harry nodded. 

“Done,” Liam said definitively before moving onto the next row up.

Louis reached a hand out for Harry’s precious coffee as they approached the van. “Ready, Harold?”

Harry handed it over and climbed up onto the ledge, giving in to the urge to wiggle his butt right when he knew it would be in Louis’ face.

The bench seat was small but with only two of them they would have enough room to position themselves comfortably, and it would be nice to have the illusion of privacy between them and the rest of the van.

He folded one leg under the other and situated himself comfortably pretzeled into the corner against the window as Louis settled down next to him. As soon as he stashed his backpack on the floor between them he reached over and rested his hand on Harry’s knee. 

Harry smiled into his phone screen as he messaged his sister Gemma about a few last minute details.

Niall, Shawn, Perrie, Jesy, Jade, Mitch, and Sarah ended up in their van with Zayn driving up front. They collectively decided against music loud enough for all of them to hear, letting Zayn keep it at a reasonable volume up front.

The trip was a little less than four hours, so Harry popped his headphones in and pulled up his playlist he put together last night as he got ready for bed. 

For his part, Louis had big ear muff looking headphones that were super high tech and probably cost a pretty penny. He looked cute in the morning sunlight as he stared out the window watching as they passed the Village and then Chelsea before leaving the city entirely.

At first, Harry just wanted to tease him. He slipped his Birkentock’s off his feet and spread his legs out, nudging Louis’ thighs with his toes. He wouldn’t have been surprised if Louis maybe let him get away with leaving his feet there, but instead Louis hooked a hand around his ankles and pulled until his legs were stretched out across the whole back seat and his feet were resting in his lap.

Louis smiled lightly at Harry, his head bopping slightly to his music as they exited the tunnel. When there was something to look at again, he went back to watching out the window, only this time he left one hand draped over the tops of Harry’s ankles and his thumb traced out a small pattern on the top of his foot.

Shocked, Harry sat motionless for a minute before he realized the window was a little awkward to lean against. He picked up his sweatshirt and folded it neatly before leaning forward so he could cushion his back, and settled in for the ride.

Every once in a while Louis would change up the shapes he was making on Harry’s skin, or he would shift his weight and need to move his feet for a second before settling down again, but they stayed like that until the rest stop halfway through the ride.

Because they had to be the last ones out by nature of their seats, Louis waited until no one else was in earshot before he trailed his fingers all the way up Harry’s bare legs until he hit the hem of his denim shorts.

“Love these,” he breathed as he fingered the hem. Harry was going to need him to stop that too, if they wanted to get out any time soon.

Harry was confused. “What, my shorts?”

Louis’ fingers followed the same path back down to his ankles. “Sure. The shorts,” he said with a heated gaze.

Oh. _Oh_. 

Harry had never had a guy compliment his legs before. Plenty of women, sure. But never a guy, much less one he was… seeing.

“You guys coming?” Jesy called behind her. Harry pulled his legs down just in time before she popped her head back through the open side of the van.

“Yeah, coming,” Louis said as he climbed out.

Harry wasn’t ashamed of his ass, even though it wasn’t the fullest. But whatever he had was nothing compared to the magnificence of Louis’. No one was around, so he let himself reach up and cop a feel and tug the top of Louis’ pocket out until it pulled away slightly from his jeans.

“Watch it back there!” Louis called as he clambered out of the small space.

Harry threw his head back and laughed as he followed the same path.

They all had a chance to stretch their legs and use the bathroom or get a snack before they were climbing back in the van to finish the journey. 

When they got back in, they got back into the same exact position with Harry’s legs stretched out. It didn’t take him long to decide that he wanted to switch it up and shifted around until he was laying his sweatshirt down and draping across Louis’ lap instead.

Louis was watching him with curiosity when Harry looked up at him with a cheesy grin, silently asking for forgiveness rather than permission.

Louis shook his head fondly before lowering his hand back down to start raking through Harry’s curls.

Yes, that was _it_. Harry loved having his hair played with like that. 

Between the steady hum of the van on the highway, the warmth and comfort of Louis’ lap, and his hypnotic strokes, Harry drifted to sleep easily.

He floated blissfully in and out of consciousness for the rest of the ride until Louis gave him a gentle tug on his ear lobe.

“Where’d Harry go?” Niall asked.

Harry grimaced without opening eyes and he could feel Louis’ stomach jump with laughter behind his head.

“He’s here,” Louis replied.

“What, is he giving you a blowjob?” Jesy called out from the front.

Harry bit down on his lip to keep from laughing as his eyes fluttered open and he tilted his head back so he could see Louis’ reaction. He hadn’t _yet_ , but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to soon.

“What? Oh God, Jesy,” Louis scoffed as the rest of their colleagues hooted with laughter.

As stealthily as he could, Harry flipped over so that he was facing in towards Louis’ body instead of away from him.

Gently, but searchingly, he began nuzzling the fly of Louis’ jeans right over his dick.

The way Louis said, “Harold,” sounded normal, but his gaze was warning.

Harry ignored him as he kept rubbing his face suggestively. “I’m sleeping,” he called out so everyone could hear him.

Louis brought his hand down to hook around the back of Harry’s neck as his thumb pressed against Harry’s jaw. They locked eyes and Harry was sure they both had the same thought at the same time. This was exactly what it would feel like if Louis was leading Harry’s mouth to his dick to give him a real blowjob.

Harry couldn’t believe that he was seriously considering actually starting something in this van surrounded by his colleagues. He couldn’t tell how seriously Louis was considering doing anything, though, so he held off.

“Naughty,” Louis mouthed as he pulled Harry’s face back a bit, out of the immediate danger zone.

Harry pursed his lips together as if to say, “Who me?”

Louis shook his head and pointedly looked out the window.

“Harry, it says we’re getting close.”

Harry hadn’t even been paying attention to where they were, but when he sat up—despite the headrush he felt—he could see that they were pretty close.

He directed Zayn through the back roads until they emerged in a small, quintessential Vermont village called Winhall. There was a bed and breakfast where the crew was going to stay that was a five minute ride from Harry’s place.

They drove down the winding dirt lane before pulling into the small, unpaved parking lot. The bed and breakfast had a modest main house with an out building that had more rooms. Harry knew from personal experience that there was a pool at the top of the hill, even though pools in Vermont were frigid pretty much year round.

Everyone climbed out of their various vans and Liam immediately went into the main building to check them all into the rooms. 

Harry was going to stay up at his own house, obviously, but there wasn’t enough room for everyone to stay there so it would have looked odd if just Louis came back with him. Not that Harry hadn’t thought about eight different excuses they could use and their various levels of believability.

Once everyone was checked in, they were going to bring Harry up to his house and make it look like he was already there with his family waiting for the rest of the test kitchen staff to arrive. Then, they were going to collectively strategize the two days that they were going to be there, and all have a family meal at his house with his mom and sister.

Liam came out and told him that their food stylist Bebe—who drove her own car up—was going to take Harry, Liam, and Kevin up to the house so they could film the test kitchen staff arriving for the “weekend” even though it was a Tuesday.

Everyone else either left their stuff in the vans or behind the desk at the B&B for when they came back after dinner and doled out room assignments.

Louis helped Harry move his bags from the van to Bebe’s car and they headed up the hill to his house.

Harry didn’t get to work with Bebe all that often but he really enjoyed spending time with her and was going to need someone to help him when he finished his book. Maybe he could put her name in with the publisher.

Her car smelled like gardenia and they blasted some fun 90’s R&B on the way up the hill. Harry even caught Liam singing along in the mirror. More than anything he was excited to see his mom and Gemma again, it had been a little while since he had come up to Boston and he was pretty sure it was his turn this time.

They turned down the hidden drive and snaked up to the house which was an old colonial farm house that they had restored and renovated slowly over the course of Harry’s lifetime.

His mom was sitting on the porch swing in the midafternoon sun with a book and a tall glass of iced tea and Harry didn’t realize just how much he needed to see her until that moment. Bebe had barely rolled to a stop before he was vaulting out and running up the steps.

She cried out and waved both her hands as she stood up to greet him. “Harry!”

A few years ago Harry bought her a new Hermès perfume in New York when he started making “real” money, and she fell in love with the scent so he always got her more for Christmas. The light, crisp scent wrapped around him as he squeezed her and lifted her up off the ground for a second.

Bebe, Kevin, and Liam followed close behind and he quickly introduced them.

“This is my mom, Anne,” he said breathlessly. His back was turned to the front door but he heard the screen door swing open. 

“Hey, twerp.” His sister Gemma was a journalist in Boston and was every bit the sophisticated, progressive millennial stereotype. Even on her off days up in the mountains she looked polished and put together.

Harry hugged and greeted her as well. Kevin, ever the gentleman, had brought Harry’s bag with him from the car so Harry took it. 

“I’ll go get settled while you guys set up?” he asked both Liam and Kevin who had already turned back around to go get his equipment.

“Don’t worry about it,” Liam waved as he went to help him.

Bebe had settled in with his mom on the porch, so Harry entered the house and started climbing the stairs up to his and Gemma’s rooms.

The room was exactly how he remembered from the year before, suspended in time. A few years back he and his mom had redone the furnishings, letting it grow up with him. It was nice to always have a space like that for himself away from the bustle of New York or Boston.

“So when does Louis get here?”

Gemma was standing in the doorway when he turned around, leaning against the door frame.

“Uh…”

“I can’t wait to meet him,” she said with a diabolical look.

“You’ve met him at least twice before,” Harry pointed out.

She scoffed. “Yeah, but that was _before_.”

“Okay, well you have to be careful. No one knows.” Harry prayed they would make it through the week with that remaining true.

“No one?”

Harry thought about it for a moment. “Zayn. Zayn knows.”

“Ooh, yum,” Gemma said wiggling her eyebrows.

“Down, girl. You’re not his type.”

Her face fell. “Do you not know any straight men? You work in publishing. Surely there are some.”

“Kevin is, last time I checked.”

She brightened again, “I can work with that.” She turned to go back downstairs. Harry probably should have thought twice before throwing Kevin to the wolves, but he couldn’t back out now.

He took a moment to freshen up and put on a tinted moisturizer before heading back down to film.

Half an hour later his mother’s house, with its expansive open plan first floor, was filled to the brim with all of his colleagues and Harry was having a momentary spike of panic. His worlds were colliding and it was a little overwhelming.

All of the cameras were pointed on the commotion going on in the living room where everyone was trying to organize how the shot would look as they all sat down to create a game plan on camera.

He felt a warm body pull up next to him and a second later there was a hand flat on his back covertly massaging a few of his pressure points.

“You doing okay?” Louis whispered.

Harry paused for a moment but nodded. He was doing okay, it was just a lot all at once.

The hand lifted off and he almost complained, but then he saw his mom coming around the kitchen island.

“Hi, Anne,” Louis said holding his hand out.

His mom’s face lit up. “Hi, Louis, nice to see you again,” she said warmly. They had met a few times and he knew for a fact his mom watched all of Harry’s videos. Louis featured so heavily, it wasn’t surprising she knew who he was.

“I’m sorry we’re taking over like this.” Louis had already unloaded all the food that was just for dinner that evening. They were definitely pushing the house’s food storage to the limits. 

“Nonsense,” she said, taking a sip of her tea. “This is the most exciting thing to happen here in a long, long time.”

Louis cleared his throat. “Tonight after dinner we’ll have to unload all the food for the rest of filming. Harry said you have another fridge out in the garage.”

She nodded. “Are you sure you’re going to be able to handle that before everyone else goes back down the hill?”

Liam and Zayn approached the counter. Harry was pretty sure Liam had a sixth sense where he could feel logistics being discussed. He wondered what the range on that was.

“It should be alright, I can get started unloading and then put it all away after we’re done with dinner. I wouldn’t want to hold anybody up.” 

“Harry can drive you back down in my car if you want to stay later to take your time putting it away without anyone getting in your way,” Anne pointed out.

Harry’s alarm bells started ringing. Private time with Louis, _private time with Louis_. “Yeah, I can take you back down.”

He could practically hear the gears turning in Liam’s head. “That would mean everyone could get back to the B&B earlier,” he pointed out.

Harry could kiss Liam if it weren’t so counterintuitive to his goal.

“Do you have your stuff?” Gemma asked Louis. “Because the guest room is mostly ski storage, but we could make up the bed. Why don’t you just stay up here?”

Harry might faint. Ideally, his first night alone with Louis would be in a fancy five star hotel room with at least twenty miles between them and his family and his coworkers, but he was getting desperate.

“Oh, yeah. Let’s make up the guest room,” Anne agreed.

Louis looked hesitant but Harry could feel him tensing and he hoped he was thinking the same thing. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to overstep.”

Anne looked pointedly at the raucous crowd that covered the entire first floor. “The house is for all of you to use how you see fit. It’s no bother, I promise.”

Louis reached his hand up and scratched the nape of his neck. “I mean, it would make organizing all of the food much easier tonight. Harry could help me, you know how much he loves that.”

Too late, Harry remembered he was supposed to be thinking about something other than Louis naked in his bed.

“Hey,” he pouted.

Louis laughed. “It’s true, whenever you’ve been in the kitchen filming all of the deli containers are so neatly lined up and labeled.”

They locked eyes and he could see that Louis was on the same page as he was. This was the excuse they had both been waiting for to get away.

Zayn piped up, “I wouldn’t mind having the room to myself.” If looks could talk, the look he shot them would have shouted for them to keep it in their pants.

“Excellent,” his mom clapped. “It’s settled, then.”

“Louis, I think your bag got unloaded at the B&B before we left,” Liam said.

Harry rushed to assure him. “That’s alright, I can still drive him down there to get them later.”

Zayn agreed. “Yeah, I can keep them in the room.”

The crowd was reaching a fever pitch and Liam decided they needed to film the planning session so they could get to cooking dinner for the evening.

Harry and his mom went around to make sure everyone had a drink before all of the chefs that would be on camera settled in a circle squishing onto various couches and chairs the same way they did for staff meetings in the office.

“I just wanted to thank everyone for coming up here to my mom’s house,” Harry formally greeted everyone when the cameras were rolling. “I’m glad we’re going to get a chance to really dig into this holiday menu while we’re up here.”

They all cheered and held up their glasses to toast each other and Harry could hear Luke, the staff photographer, with his shutter clicking away behind them.

Harry pulled out his notebook. “Alright, we need to decide what needs to be made when, then it’ll culminate in a holiday dinner party tomorrow night.”

The day after they were going to do individual photography sessions with Bebe and the creative team for more spreads and in depth detail shots. 

“We still haven’t seen each other’s recipes, right?” Louis asked. 

It was a great segue for each pairing to then go through and talk about their components, what they went through to develop the recipes, and what everything would involve when they went to cook it the next day.

Harry took copious notes to help Liam later, but when it was his and Louis’ turn at the end, he had to force himself to keep their eye contact brief. They went to California, and accomplished things there. He definitely remembered being in California but everything before and after kissing Louis was a little hazy.

“Harry won Most Original in the contest,” Louis said proudly.

“We both did, Lou.” Harry added.

Louis mugged to the group. “Yes, everyone here absolutely believes I came up with an original holiday cookie recipe.”

The whole group, including the crew and probably Gemma, laughed and Harry blushed. “You helped with all of the rest of them.”

“How many did you do?” Shawn asked from across the circle.

“There were four recipes total,” Harry explained. “A sort of typical ginger molasses, a chocolate, a decorated sugar cookie, and then the pecan shortbread thumbprints with cranberry jam.”

Everyone oohed and ahhed appropriately before they started talking about the specifics of what Harry would need. He made and froze the chocolate, molasses, and sugar cookie doughs ahead of time so all he needed to do was bake them off first thing while other people put other things together.

As the important parts of the conversation wound down, they started talking about how it was supposed to be a beautiful day the next day while they were stuck inside cooking.

“There’s a big backyard if you haven’t seen it yet, and we have lots of lawn games and other things to play with while we’re switching between groups.”

After that the conversation devolved a little bit and Liam yelled cut on that official segment.

Louis stood up to address the group. “Alright, Harry said they have an awesome grill, so dinner tonight is grilled chicken on the bone with a bunch of other sides. Harry has all the info, and I’ve unpacked the food, so let’s get going.”

There was a flurry of activity as all of the chefs got up and descended on the kitchen. 

Harry’s mom became the unexpected point person as she started doling out jobs and ingredients. He got his love of cooking from watching her in the kitchen when she entertained so it was unsurprising.

Gemma put a summer jam playlist on the house’s audio system, and they all got to work.

Two and a half hours later as they all finally sat down to eat, Harry found Louis watching him from across the table.

Now that he knew he was going to get some private time with Louis away from everyone else, he forced himself to only interact with him in passing while they cooked which was pretty easy because he had manned the grill all night. There was no rush, they had all the time in the world.

Also watching Louis competently play with fire while he nursed a beer was a new and surprising turn on for Harry, so he tried to keep himself away from temptation as much as possible.

Later, once everyone left, it was just Harry, his mom, Louis, and Gemma playing tetris with the food for the official holiday shoot part of the trip.

“It really didn’t seem like this much food when I was packing it up in the city,” Louis laughed as he unloaded one of the coolers.

They had used professional grade cold storage so all of the food was still good, but it was going to be a tight squeeze even with the extra fridge.

Harry had broken down and tried to sneak away with Louis right after the BA vans left but he made him wait.

“It’ll be much better if we don’t have to stop. Work first,” he said definitively.

Harry huffed a bit, but knew he was right. He had never concentrated harder on organizing food in his life, and it was what he did for a living.

“I think that’s it,” Louis said as he wiped his hands on his jeans.

“Thank God,” Gemma exclaimed. “I don’t know who is going to eat all this food.”

“You would be surprised how much this group can put away,” Harry replied.

His mom was digging around in the pantry. “I’ll say. There’s almost nothing left over from dinner.”

This conversation was great and all, but Harry had other things on his mind. “I think we should get going so we can get Louis’ bag before Zayn goes to bed.”

Louis stuck his head in the fridge to hide his smirk. Gemma wasn’t as subtle. “Where’s the fire, brother?”

“Harry’s right. I’m nervous that there’s no cell service near the B&B so I won’t be able to call him to wake him up if he falls asleep.” Louis collected himself and started subtly back up towards the door.

Harry pushed off the counter and grabbed his mom’s extra set of car keys. “Be back in a little bit.”

“Drive safely,” his mom called as they rushed out the door. Gemma cackled and he could faintly hear his mom asking her why, but he had no time to be embarrassed.

Instead of rounding the car to the passenger side, Louis pushed him against the driver side door and pressed a searing kiss to his lips.

“Wanted to do that all day,” he said, pulling away, leaving Harry stunned and needing a moment to catch his breath.

“Yeah,” he agreed as he climbed in and started the car.

The car ride was tense and quiet as they drove down the hill to town and Harry silently thanked anyone that would listen that it was so close.

While he waited for Louis to go inside to get his bag from his and Zayn’s room, Harry strategized. If he picked a side street, there wasn’t likely to be a cop car, but there was always the possibility of one of the people he knew in town finding them.

If he chose an abandoned parking lot in town, there was a very slight possibility that even though everything had closed around eight, some of the BA staff might go exploring.

What to do, what to do.

Technically, the benefit of Louis staying at the house was that they didn’t have to sneak around like this, but it was only nine thirty, and his mom and Gemma usually went to bed around eleven or midnight. He was not waiting that long.

Louis came out of the building with his duffle bag slung over his shoulder calmly walking back to the car. He threw the bag in the back seat and climbed back into the passenger’s side.

They stared at each other for a moment, suspended in time, before they reached for each other. Harry couldn’t remember the last time he made out in a car, but it was probably one of the local boys who worked at the ice cream stand nearby during one of his teenage years.

One of the lights in the hotel flickered on and Harry caught the movement out of the corner of his eye so he pulled back.

“Wait, wait. Not here,” he said as he turned the key so hard he almost broke the end of it.

He peeled out of the parking lot.

“Aren’t we going back to the house?” Louis asked as they passed the turn.

Harry didn’t bother answering, instead he pulled into the long driveway of a house that had been for sale for the last two years, far enough up and around a bend so they would be hidden by some bushes.

“Push your seat back,” he said to Louis who instantly complied. Once he was all the way back, Harry judged the space. It would be a tight squeeze, but he could make it work.

Harry watched as Louis got ready for Harry to climb over the console and into his lap, pulling his knees together. Boy did he have another thing coming.

Harry did climb over the console between them, but instead of staying perched on Louis’ knees, he slid down until his own knees touched the floor mat. The material on the floor wasn’t the softest and he spared a thought for the rugburn he was going to get on his kneecaps.

“Woah, where are you going?” Louis asked. “You’re going to hurt yourself with those limbs of yours.”

Harry smiled up at him as he lifted his wrist up and pulled the hair tie off, tying his hair into a quick bun.

“Jesus Christ,” Louis groaned as he let his head fall back. “Are you sure?”

When his hair was secure, Harry reached for the fly on Louis’ jeans. “If you don’t let me suck your dick right this very second we’re breaking up.”

Louis threw his hands up. “No, yeah. You got it, boss.”

Harry got his button open and his zipper down, but he tapped Louis thighs so he would help him pull the constricting material down a bit. Louis hooked his thumbs in both his jeans and his boxer briefs, wiggling in the small space until his cock was finally accessible.

He settled back down and Harry reached for him. He wasn’t fully hard—which wasn’t surprising given the way Harry sprung this on him—but it meant that Harry could easily take him into his mouth right away to help him catch up.

Somewhere above him, Louis hissed at first contact.

Harry bobbed up and down, but needed more control as Louis hardened in his mouth, so he reached his hand up to wrap his fingers around him.

Lungs burning, needing to take a breath, he pulled back, lightly running his tongue up and down Louis’ shaft, teasing him.

“Shit, Harry,” Louis squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. As Harry’s lips pressed against his head and slid down him again, he thought about how funny it was that Louis rarely used his real name, but it slipped out so naturally now.

Harry lifted up again and saw Louis’ white knuckle death grip on both the center console and the door. Louis was trying to be polite again, which Harry appreciated, but he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the way he held Harry’s neck earlier in the van.

He didn’t know how to ask for what he wanted, so instead he physically lifted Louis’ hand off the door and guided it to his jaw, watching and waiting for Louis to open his eyes.

When he finally did, his gaze bore into Harry’s with his pupils blown wide.

“Yeah?” he asked.

Harry nodded and dipped back down again to take him as far down as he could, feeling Louis’ grip tighten on the back of his neck with his thumb against his jaw to steady him.

God, yes. This was about Louis, and Harry wanting to treat him to something special for how amazing he had been, but he couldn’t help his own briefs getting tighter as he continued.

The angle was still cramped and kind of awkward, but he could feel Louis getting more and more into it as he started guiding Harry with the hand on his neck. Harry could tell he was getting close when his hips started jerking up a little of their own accord.

Louis forced his hips back down and started to mumble an apology, but Harry moaned around his cock and pulled back enough to lick around his head and nod to try and tell him he liked it.

It was Louis’ turn to swear and help him back down. “You’re going to kill me,” he slurred.

Harry kept lightly moaning around him and it didn’t take very long before Louis tried to warn him he was going to come, but Harry ignored his protests and only pulled back far enough for it to be comfortable when Louis came down his throat.

Louis was panting heavily as Harry shifted his weight so his shoulder was leaning against Louis’ leg and the pressure was off his knees.

“Fucking shit, Harold.”

Harry’s eyes were watering and he reached up to dab at them with the back of his hand as he laughed.

Louis lifted his hips to pull his pants back up quickly before gripping Harry’s arm to try and drag him up into his lap.

Harry was a little bit too tall for it to work, but he settled for Harry only coming up halfway before he kissed him languidly.

“What was that for?” he asked reverently.

Harry shrugged. It was hard to explain to someone like Louis that it was just for being him, for being sweet, for Harry having to wait almost six years before he was able to do it, any of the above. “Wanted to.”

His jaw was a little sore, and he needed to remember to rest it before they filmed the next day. He hadn’t had a boyfriend for quite some time and was definitely a little out of practice.

“Let me get you,” Louis said, dragging his hand up Harry’s thigh to the hem of his jean shorts, but Harry shook his head. 

“No, no. This one was for you.” He pressed a brief kiss to Louis’ lips. “Plus, we should get back before my mom gets suspicious.”

Louis ran a hand over his face. “Yeah, okay. I haven’t thought about stuff like this since I was a teenager.”

Harry snickered. “Me neither, I was thinking that earlier when you went to go get your bag and I was deciding where to park.”

Louis shook his head in disbelief. “You planned this all out? You really are going to kill me.”

Harry opened the passenger door and stepped into the cool night air. The car had gotten a little steamy, so the breeze felt good. It was pitch black, so he couldn’t see the state of his knees, but that was probably a good thing. He was going to need to put his pajamas on immediately when they got back. If he knew his mom, she would probably want to sit and catch up or maybe watch a movie together.

He climbed back in the car and started it up again to go back up the hill.

The next morning when Harry’s old digital alarm clock started beeping, he immediately regretted setting it. He could feel the warm press of Louis’ body behind him, and the heavy weight of his arm settled in the dip of Harry’s waist.

As carefully as he could he reached over to tap the button to turn it off. 

“Mmm,” he groaned as he burrowed back down into the blankets.

The central air blowing lightly in through the vents, but it was still humid and Harry could feel a light sheen of sweat on his skin.

After they got back the night before, he was able to make an excuse and sneak upstairs to put on some sweatpants and put Louis’ bag away while Louis distracted Gemma and his mom. They all sat around and watched a random _Spiderman_ movie they found while channel flipping until it was time for bed.

Both Louis and Harry had an exhausting day, so it didn’t take them too long before they were yawning more than they were participating in the conversation, so Anne had hopped up to get Louis a spare set of sheets to make up the guest bedroom.

Harry blinked until his eyes were fully open and darted his gaze over to the sheet set that was piled neatly on the bench in front of the vanity.

Whoops. They were both too tired to do anything else so nothing really happened, but it didn’t look good.

Louis’ arm tightened around Harry’s middle, and as he shifted, Harry became aware of just how awake he was. They were both wearing underwear so it wasn’t the total access he wanted, but it was enough.

“Good morning,” Harry murmured.

Louis shifted his hips backwards. “Sorry.” 

Harry let out a short grunt of protest before trying to follow his warmth, amongst other things. “No, bring it back.”

Louis laughed under his breath. “I haven’t got anything.” His voice was lower and gruffer in the morning and Harry could feel the scratch of his stubble at the base of his neck as he began pressing kisses along the line of his shoulder.

“Seriously?”

Louis stopped kissing him and pressed his forehead against his skin instead. “I was supposed to be down at the B&B, I was not this optimistic.”

Harry didn’t care, he wanted morning sex. Really he wanted _any_ sex with Louis, especially after the floodgates had opened the night before. 

“Wait, I think I have some lube in my bag at least,” Harry reluctantly left the comfort of Louis’ arms to stretch and try to reach the outer pocket of his overnight bag.

Eventually his hand hit a small plastic bottle. “Yes,” his hissed as he pulled his torso back on the mattress.

Louis sat up and pulled the blankets back. Harry’s nipples hardened in the cool air but with the way Louis was watching him move, he was more than happy to be on display for a while.

They continued to shift until the blankets were out of the way entirely, but Louis stopped suddenly and did a double take.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Harry asked.

Instead of answering, Louis climbed off the bed entirely. Harry was too curious to complain immediately, but he was on a very short fuse.

Louis bent down to pick something up off the floor in front of the door jamb. “Um… I don’t know what to do with this.”

He walked back over to the bed and climbed in, handing Harry a small foil condom packet with a note on it.

“Use wisely, but please make sure I am not awake yet.”

Harry threw his head back and laughed. Gemma must have slipped it under their door last night while they were sleeping.

Louis laid down next to him on his side, and Harry lifted his head up to kiss him lightly.

“Mmph, morning breath, sorry,” he said.

“That’s alright,” Harry said as he got off the mattress and first dipped down, back into the pocket of his bag to grab a tin of mints. He popped one in his mouth before tossing one to Louis.

“Where are you going?” Louis asked, patting the bed next to him. “Come back.” 

Harry flipped the note around and pointed to it. “I’m following the instructions.” He wiggled his eyebrows before slowly opening the hall door. 

His mom’s master bedroom was downstairs at the back of the house, but his sister’s bedroom and the guest room were both on the top floor with his. As quietly as he could, he tiptoed down the hallway until he was in front of her door.

Their alarm had been set for seven, and his sister was not a morning person, so he held out hope that she was still asleep. He couldn’t hear anything when he pressed his ear to the door so he took the risk and cracked it open an inch.

He held his own breath as he waited for a sign she was asleep. Finally, she snored delicately. Perfect.

Pulling the door closed again, he took off down the hallway at a much faster pace.

When he got back to his bedroom Louis was casually leaning back against the headboard rubbing his obvious erection through his boxer briefs.

“She’s asleep still,” Harry hissed as he jumped back in bed. 

“So, what does that mean?” Louis asked him coyly. The joke was on him, he should have learned the night before that Harry had no problem asking for what he wanted.

He rolled over onto his hands and knees and began crawling up Louis’ body until he was seated in his lap. “It means,” Harry whispered against the delicate skin at the crook of his neck. “That I’m going to ride you.”

Louis’ throat bobbed as he swallowed heavily. “Deal.”

Harry lifted up again so he could pull Louis’ underwear down and free his cock. He couldn’t resist pressing a few teasing kisses along it as he dragged the fabric off his legs.

“You’re going to have to stop that if you want me to last,” Louis warned.

Harry sat up and tossed his briefs over the side of the mattress before quickly stripping his own down and off his legs. This time when he sat back down on Louis’ lap, it was bare skin to bare skin.

Louis pulled him down for a heavy kiss. This position had decided advantages.

Harry reached down for the lube and pressed it into Louis’ palm.

Letting a little bit coat his fingers. Louis started massaging Harry’s lower back with his clean hand. “You ready?” he asked gently.

Harry nodded as he pressed his face into the crown of Louis’ head, blindly placing kisses along his ear and cheekbone, waiting for him to make a move.

Louis leaned in, mouthing at Harry’s nipple while his fingers slid down and rubbed around his entrance until he finally dipped inside. The lube was still a little cold and it made Harry’s breath hitch, but he liked the sensation as it began to warm between their shared body heat.

Harry was hard between them and he brought the hand he wasn’t using for balance down to wrap around both of their cocks together.

“That’s it,” Louis encouraged as he watched Harry’s hand gently glide back and forth while he blindly opened him up. 

“Hurry,” Harry begged, bracing himself as he felt the tip of Louis’ other finger join the other. Louis couldn’t get the best angle on him because of how he was sitting, so he arched his back further and lifted his hips. Because Louis had used plenty of lube, his fingers naturally slipped farther in with his movements, and Harry was finally beginning to feel full.

As desperate as Harry felt, Louis seemed completely fine with slow, languid, strokes to match the calm summer morning.

Right as Harry was getting into a rhythm, Louis dragged his fingers and out and reached next to him for the condom. He handed it to Harry who ripped the packet open and sat back enough that he could reach Louis’ cock to roll it down.

Louis clicked the lube open again and got himself ready as Harry got up on his knees and braced his hands against the top edge of the headboard for balance.

“Ready, baby,” Louis whispered as he lined himself up at Harry’s entrance. Harry slowly slid down until inch by inch, Louis filled him up. When he finally was fully seated in his lap, he brought one hand down to press against his chest.

“Give me a second,” he choked out. It had been awhile since he had been with anyone like this and while Louis was an average length, he was thick and Harry could feel every inch of him.

Taking a couple deep breaths helped but he didn’t fully relax until Louis strained upwards to pull him into a deep kiss. The distraction was enough to help ease some of the pressure. He probably should have worked up to riding Louis, but he looked so good in the warm light on the white sheets, he couldn’t resist the urge.

When Harry was more comfortable, he braced himself again, lifting up a few inches before dropping back down, then a few more. With each lift, it felt like Louis was going deeper and deeper. 

Finally on a downstroke, Louis hit his prostate and lightning flashed behind Harry’s eyelids as he moaned. “Oh, fuck. _Lou._ ”

“I’m here, baby, I got you,” Louis’ voice was strained and Harry could see the muscles of his stomach tighten as he tried to stay in control.

Harry tried to ride him harder but his thighs were starting to get tired, and he let a small moan escape. Thankfully, Louis recognized the sound for what it was and put his feet flat on the mattress, holding on to Harry’s hips as he tipped forward. 

On his first upward thrust, Harry gasped before realizing how loud it probably was. He clamped his hand over his mouth as Louis continued to build a steady pace. As soon as he could tell Harry was balanced again, Louis brought one hand down to tease the head of his cock before stroking Harry hard and quick in time with his own rhythm. 

Harry should have known he would be good with his hands.

Soon, he had to bite down on his own fingers so his high pitched moans died in the back of his throat. Louis was biting down on his own lip so hard trying not to make too much noise, Harry was worried he was going to break the skin.

They had already begun to slip down the pillows, so Harry pushed them a bit farther down until he could lay his torso over Louis’ as he took over riding again. He kept one arm stiff and left just enough room that Louis could continue to pull him off, but he covered Louis’ mouth with his so they could swallow each other’s noises instead. 

With the new angle, Louis was hitting him in just the right spot and it wasn’t long before he was burying his face in Louis’ neck and gasping as he came. He almost bit down on Louis’ shoulder to stop the noise, but stopped himself at the very last second when he remembered they needed to film.

Louis stopped almost immediately but Harry could feel him vibrating with want. “No,” he rushed out. “Keep going.”

There was a hysterical edge to his voice as he asked, “Are you sure?”

He was a little sensitive but he would be fine. “Yeah, please. Go.” 

Louis’ thrusts got faster as he chased his own orgasm and at the very last second, Harry laid his hand over his mouth before he cried out to muffle the noise.

Harry felt like his strings had been cut as he collapsed on top of Louis. The only piece of him within reach was his ear and jaw, so he pressed his lips against the skin there, not really kissing him, just wanting to feel his heartbeat at his pulse point.

Louis’ chest rumbled underneath him and when Harry finally mustered the energy to sit up, he was laughing.

Harry couldn’t string a sentence together yet so he frowned at him, but Louis instantly brought his thumb up to smooth out the wrinkles on his forehead.

“We should have done that a long time ago,” he finally said.

Appeased, Harry shimmied down until he could lay his hands over Louis’ chest and watch him. “Yeah, probably,” he agreed. “But one of the things I’ve always admired about you is how loyal you are.”

Louis’ face fell. “Even though it might have been to the wrong person.”

Harry shrugged as he teased his fingers through Louis’ chest hair. He had a surprising amount for the rest of him, but it went with… everything else. “I mean, no. Not necessarily. It was right at the time, you did what was right at the time.”

Louis smiled and tucked one of the curls that had come out of his bun behind his ear. They could have stayed like that forever if Harry hadn’t remembered that almost their entire staff was descending on the house soon.

“Shit, we’ve got to go,” he groaned as he pushed up and reached for his phone to check the time. They were definitely late.

Louis’ eyebrows lifted suggestively. “Shower together? Save time?”

That was not going to save time.

“Only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself.”

They made it to the shower quietly enough—with a brief pause at Gemma’s door to make sure she was still asleep—and as they were standing under the hot spray, Harry was thinking ahead to the weekend.

Louis hadn’t said anything yet about staying, and he needed to just man up and ask him.

When Louis opened his eyes again after scrubbing shampoo in his hair and then rinsing it out, Harry couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Do you want to stay for a couple days? We can tell my mom for real when everyone else has left.” 

Louis froze for a second before looking rueful as he drew Harry closer to him by his waist.

“I can’t,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to get back for a couple of meetings and a shoot.” He pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek that was surprisingly sweet given the fact that they were standing there naked and soaking wet.

“That’s okay,” Harry replied. He understood, he did. They just seemed to be victims of bad timing.

“We have all of today, though. And some of tomorrow. I’ll stay tonight even though I don’t really have another excuse. Aside from my stuff being here.”

Harry laughed and took his second turn under the spray. He was pleasantly sore, and it probably hadn’t been his best idea to sleep with Louis right before they were set to have a marathon filming session. Squeezing his conditioner into his hands he tried to reconcile his past daydreams about Louis with the reality of standing in the shower of his summer house with him, having just slept together for the very first time.

It wasn’t conventional, and nothing like he expected. He definitely could have done without his family or his colleagues, but he also hadn’t wanted to wait any longer than he had. They had done enough waiting over the years.

“You called me ‘baby’ earlier.” It wasn’t really a question, they had both been there to experience it, but he didn't really notice it in the moment.

Louis blushed and busied himself with the washcloth he was using to rub down. “Um. Yeah, sorry. It just slipped out.”

Harry shook his head. “No, I liked it. You’ve called me a lot of things over the years. It was new. Kind of like last night, you called me Harry when I went down on you.”

Again, Louis’ blush deepened. “That is your name isn’t it?”

“I know it is,” Harry teased. “I was beginning to think you had forgotten it.”

They both jumped when there was a loud bang on the bathroom door.

“Hurry up, I have to pee!” Gemma called.

Harry groaned. “This is like being fifteen all over again.”

“I mean, six siblings,” he said pointing at himself. “I get it.”

Harry finished rinsing out his conditioner and they turned the water off. He took an extra second to compose himself before they left the bathroom.

“She clearly already knows,” Louis whispered as he nudged Harry in the back. 

“Yes, I do, now move it.” Gemma replied from the other side of the door.

They opened the door and slinked past her disapproving stare wrapped in their towels diving straight into Harry’s room.

“You’re welcome!” She called after them.

They had about thirty minutes before the rest of the staff arrived, so Harry sat down at the old vanity and set to work doing his pre-filming routine. He put some leave-in conditioner in his hair and set the diffuser on it before applying a little bit of tinted moisturizer and mascara.

“I didn’t realize you did all this stuff before filming,” Louis was leaning against the headboard again with his legs kicked out in front of him switching back and forth between watching Harry and checking his phone.

Harry did not need the blatant reminder from earlier, especially if they couldn’t do anything about it.

“My hair I do like this most days, but the makeup helps me... get in the mindset? I don’t know.”

Louis let a shit-eating grin spread across his face. “I think you look cute either way.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Okay,” he said as they both devolved into laughter.

Everything with Louis, even when they were still just friends, had always been fun. A small part of Harry had been worried that it might go away if they ever got together, but now that they had he was happy to have been wrong.

Gemma didn’t comment when they came down together to join Anne for a breakfast of yogurt and fresh berries. She hadn’t showered or changed yet, claiming she was giving them a chance to finish because she didn’t need to be downstairs right away and could get ready after the rest of the staff arrived.

His mom poured them both mugs of coffee and showed Louis where to find sugar and creamer. Harry thought it was cute that he only drank it on certain occasions, and he had yet to figure out what the criteria was for said occasions.

Harry was just finishing up his bowl when Kevin and Bebe arrived to start filming. 

No one gave them any specific direction, but as Kevin set up, Louis went outside to make it look as though he was arriving with everyone else. Because the will-they-won’t-they was so prevalent online, they didn’t want to fuel any more fires. 

Harry snorted into his coffee as he waited for Kevin. He supposed they had an answer on that one now.

Kevin mounted the camera on his shoulder. “Ready, Harry?”

Harry nodded and went out to sit on the porch swing in the same position his mom had been the day before when he arrived. After everything that happened with Louis last night, their arrival felt like ages ago instead of less than twenty-four hours earlier.

The rest of the staff was supposed to arrive at nine thirty, but naturally they were late so Harry and Kevin sat on the porch relaxing for a few extra minutes. Harry could just barely see a Louis shaped blob down at the end of the driveway through the trees.

“How are you doing, Lou?” Harry called. Zayn could edit that out.

“All good down here, Harold!” There was a loud snap and a loud “Ouch.”

Harry waited for a moment as he and Kevin stared at each other barely holding in their laughter. 

“You still good?” Harry asked after he couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Yep! Might have turned my ankle. I’ll be good, though. Walk it off.”

Harry was openly laughing now, and Kevin was trying desperately to prevent the camera from shaking. He felt bad for Zayn and the editors who weren’t going to be able to use the footage.

There weren’t many cars on the road up near them, so it wasn’t hard to pick out the noise of the vans coming up the hill. They slowed to a stop and the metallic sound of the side door sliding was loud enough that a few birds took off from a nearby tree.

“Morning, Lewis.” Harry could hear Niall’s bright voice greet Louis and Louis’ answering grumble before he heard the door slam shut again.

As the car started up again Harry composed himself, sat up straight and took a sip of coffee before looking in the general direction of the driveway.

“Ooh, I think they’re here,” he said as Kevin swung the camera and the first van came into view.

Harry, in his bare feet, hopped down the path to greet everyone.

The first person out of the car was Louis, naturally, and he gave Harry a private wink. Slowly but surely each one of his coworkers filed out of the other two vans. It looked like they had abandoned the one that was mostly food on the way up because of the added space they had from it also not holding Harry, Louis, or the baggage.

Gemma had disappeared upstairs, but his mom was reveling in the chaos. Despite everyone talking about the breakfast at the hotel, there were still a few people that fell down at her feet for more coffee. She had made an extra big batch, and happily poured mug after mug while everyone set up.

Once everything was set, the chefs all stood around the kitchen island, much the way they stood around bench two when they were first planning everything out on camera.

Predictably, the conversation drifted to all of the lawn games and summer activities they had lying around in the garage. Everyone was focusing on what they were going to be doing in their down time.

Louis leaned against the counter behind him, “Before enjoying the beautiful day, we should probably work on our plan for the day.”

Jesy, who was standing next to him, leaned her head over onto his shoulder. “Thanks, Dad.”

The unbidden thought that drifted across Harry’s mind involved that same shoulder where his mouth had been just that morning. He was glad he didn’t leave any marks. 

Harry was surprised at himself and the heat that pricked his skin as he realized he and Louis shared a dirty little secret. There was never really a need for him to keep anything hidden like this before when it came to a relationship, so this was all new.

He forced himself to say something. “We’re all going to be stuck in a hot kitchen cooking on such a beautiful day.”

Louis was across the counter from him and caught him with his knowing gaze, smirking.

Liam let them get away for talking for another few minutes before he told them all he needed to get back on track. He handed Harry his notes from the day before.

“Okay, great.” Harry said. “Louis and Jesy need the kitchen first so they can get the roast ready because that definitely needs to be in the oven the longest and it can be popped in to heat up at the end of the day.”

“Right,” Louis agreed.

“Then your cookies, Harry,” Jesy added. “They all are around three-fifty, right? They can just cycle through on the other racks.”

They quickly ran through the rest of the schedule with all of the pairs having a chance to use the kitchen and oven. Jade and Adam were the trickiest because their segment was leftovers, but they made their “meal” ahead of time with help from the other chefs, and their dishes wouldn’t be included in the menu of their fake dinner party, but they would serve it as well as do all of their filming and photo shoots.

In the meantime, Zayn had a second camera, and the staff photographer Luke would swap between a third camera and taking still photographs throughout the day.

While Louis and Jesy started in the kitchen, Harry was going to set up rolling and cutting some of the cookies so they could go in the oven right away. The night before when they unpacked the food, they had taken doughs out of the freezer and left them in the fridge overnight.

As their pre-game huddle broke up, everyone who wasn’t cooking took off like a shot, excited about spending such a lovely day basking in the sun in Harry’s backyard.

His mom and Gemma watched them throughout all of it, and Harry could tell they liked having people there that were excited about the house and the things they could do. The whole day had a bright, uplifting feel.

Sitting at a table calmly rolling and cutting out hundreds of cookies was already Harry’s idea of heaven. On top of that, Louis and Jesy were two of the funniest people he knew, and because he happened to be within earshot, he was in stitches listening to them talk and bicker with each other as they prepped the meat.

The sugar cookies and the pecan shortbread thumbprints both needed to cool completely before their second steps and Harry focused on those first so they could bake and come out of the oven before anything else.

It didn’t take Louis and Jesy long to prep the roast and get it in the oven and soon Jesy was coming over and tagging him.

“Get on in here, Half-Sour.” Louis hadn’t called him that one in a while. Harry didn’t know why he turned to mush at his wild nicknames even more now that they were together. He would have thought he had become desensitized to them over the years.

Harry brought the rolling pin over and placed the wrapped ginger molasses and chocolate doughs in front of Louis on the counter. Louis reached for the first bundle and began unwrapping it to work on it.

He liked that he and Louis just naturally understood each other. A lot of times Harry got flack for being controlling in the kitchen, but in reality he just wanted it to be done correctly. Louis knew when to pull back and follow directions especially when he was with Harry, and it was nice.

Louis also paused while he was flouring his hands and reached over to open the oven door so Harry could put both trays in at once. He managed to get flour all over the clean towels in the process, but it was the thought that counted.

The kitchen had calmed down and gone quieter as they worked as most of their colleagues, as well as his mom and Gemma, were enjoying the backyard. If he knew Gemma at least, she was leading the charge in laying out to tan.

Niall was the first one to break rank and come back inside. “How’s it going in here?” He approached the counter and surveilled the neat lines of cookies being punched out. There was a scrap of dough near his hand and he swiped it up and popped it in his mouth.

“Niall, there’s raw egg in that,” Harry reprimanded.

Louis scoffed. “What’s it going to do to him that hasn’t already been done?”

Harry glared at him. “Said the man who plays with fermentation for a living.”

Niall opened the fridge and took in the scene. “Have you got any seltzer? Perrie is asking for a seltzer. A couple of other people too, but mostly Perrie.”

“Yeah, we’ve got a bunch of different kinds. And beer and wine, enough for tonight, too.”

Niall messed around a little bit more joking with Louis, but soon Perrie poked her head in the door lifting her sunglasses off her face and perching them on top of her head. 

“What’s wrong? No more grapefruit?” she cried out, eyeing the cans Niall was holding.

“Alright, hold your horses,” Niall grumbled.

“Don’t forget one for Gemma, too!” she called over her shoulder. 

Harry watched through the window as she walked back over to where Gemma, Jesy, Jade, and Leigh-Ann were all laying out on blankets laid across the grass.

The girls were some of his best friends, but he could smell trouble coming from a mile away. “That’s all we need,” he said lowly. “For them to join up with Gemma.”

Niall and Louis both laughed, not understanding the gravity of the situation, as Niall set about purposefully over-engineering five seltzers for them completely with lemon slices and other garnishes.

“Are you going to go tan when we’re done here, Harold?”

Now that he knew how much Louis liked his legs after their car ride yesterday, he just might. Because he knew Louis couldn’t do anything about it on camera, he decided to tease him. 

“Don’t know. I just might try and get some color on my legs. I’ve got some time while the cookies cool.”

Louis gave him a quick look up and down, trying not to linger.

The timer beeped for the first batch, and Harry quickly checked them before pulling them out while Louis slid the next batch in their places.

Harry turned the camera and explained that because they had so many things going in and out of the oven all day and would be opening the door frequently, that might affect the temperature of the oven and it could possibly affect cooking times.

“That’s why we decided to do this, really. We wanted to show cooks at home what some of the real obstacles are that they might face getting ready for a meal like this.”

When Louis turned back around, Harry realized there was nothing left for him to do and he had already been in the kitchen the whole morning.

“I can wait for this batch if you want to go grab Mitch. He and I can get our turn out of the way.”

Louis paused, taking stock of the kitchen. “You sure?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, go ahead. Enjoy the day.”

Louis moved his hand to Harry’s back and moved forward as if he was going to kiss him, and Harry caught himself leaning in just in time before he quickly diverted, trying to be as casual as possible picking up a still-warm cookie sheet barehanded.

It was a little hot but he had pretty much burned his fingerprints off back in pastry school.

Louis’ eyes widened as he realized what he had almost done as well, and if Harry’s pulse hadn’t skyrocketed he probably would have found it hilarious.

“Cool, well, I’m going to go.” Louis buried his face in the fridge and pulled out a mango seltzer before beelining for the backyard.

Harry had recovered enough that he could laugh at that one because Louis hated mango.

While Harry was waiting for Mitch, he cleared off and put away all the cookie supplies and all the supplies Louis and Jesy had left behind as well. A clean kitchen made him feel better. 

A few minutes later, Mitch came inside and Harry pulled the last of the cookies out of the oven, so they set to work on sides.

That same ebb and flow kept pace for the rest of the morning, until it was finally Harry’s turn to tap out.

Shawn had come in at some point and found a book about mushroom foraging, and that planted a seed in everyone’s brain that they should go foraging in the woods behind the house.

The book was from the fifties and probably incredibly inaccurate, but everyone was so excited about it, Harry didn’t have the heart to rain on their parade.

Jade and Adam were in the kitchen working on their leftover dishes, which was actually going to be the group lunch for the day so they didn’t have too long before they needed to be back at the house. Luke needed to stay near the house to shoot some stills, so he and Zayn swapped out camera positions before the group took off.

After his mom made sure everyone had proper clothes and bug spray suitable for walking the paths—even though they were all adults, she was still a mom—they went on their way.

It had been forever since Harry had explored the woods like this. He had gone mushroom foraging before, so he gave everyone tips as they slowed down and started checking tree trunks and logs. They were also at the tail end of ramp season as well, so they kept an eye out for those.

The day had started off so well, and shooting had been so much fun so far. It was refreshing to be away from the test kitchen and shooting in his own backyard. Everything about it had Harry feeling giddy, but he had underestimated how much it would show on his face.

“What’s different about you today, Harry?” Perrie asked as he was excitedly explaining a dish he had developed with ramps a few years earlier.

Gemma let out a loud honking laugh that he suspected was similar to his own. Louis was too far away to have heard the question, or to save him.

“I don’t know. Just love it up here, I guess.”

His sister leaned against a large tree on the path. “Oh, yeah. Harry just has a really special relationship with Vermont. Gets into all kinds of trouble.”

Perrie’s eyes lit up. “What, like when you were younger?” 

Harry wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

“In a manner of speaking,” Gemma said. Her smile was maniacal.

That was also of course, as Louis neared, and Harry realized Zayn had caught the whole exchange with the camera. Great.

Just then Liam called out for them from the end of the path. “Lunch is almost ready, come back inside.”

“Aye, aye, Captain!” Louis yelled.

Gemma leaned over and whispered in Harry’s ear. “Saved by the bell.”

Lunch was family-style chaos—as Harry suspected the whole episode was going to turn out to be.

At one point he caught Louis knocking a chocolate cookie off the cooling rack to break it just so he could eat one.

“Lou! I saw that.”

Louis looked like innocence personified. “What? I needed to make sure they were good.”

When they all sat down outside picnic style with their plates to sample the leftover recipes Jade and Adam developed, they took stock of where they were in the day and what they still needed to do. Some of it was filmed and some of it regarding the behind the scenes things hadn’t accomplished yet was unfilmed.

The only thing Harry had left to do before their fake dinner party was pipe the white chocolate zebra stripes on the thumbprint cookies and decorate the sugar cookies. All of which he definitely had time to finish because it could be done away from the kitchen on the spare surface at the dining table where he had started in the morning.

Perrie and Leigh-Ann put the potatoes in for their sophisticated, crowd-pleaser potato skins before lunch and as they all finished eating the timer beeped on Perrie’s phone.

“Alright, so, while we have everyone here would everyone be able to help us carve out these potatoes?”

Everyone agreed easily and they all stood up to clear lunch and pitch in with the prep.

Niall took it upon himself to put some music on while they worked. It was surreal for Harry to watch ten gourmet chefs stand around the kitchen of his summer home, digging the middles out of potato skins.

Per Perrie and Leigh-Ann’s request, they all dropped their carvings in a large bowl and the fluffy white potato bits would be whipped up into a yummy bonus mashed potato dish. It wasn’t an official recipe because _Bon Appétit_ already had a “BA’s Best Mashed Potatoes” article on the books, but it was something chefs could make instead of wasting the excess.

While Perrie and Leigh-Ann were organizing their newly emptied potatoes and setting out everything else they would need for appetizers, Louis and Jesy pulled out the roast to see what the temperature was in the middle to determine if it was done or not.

Harry set up his mixer away from the center of the chaos to make the royal icing so he could decorate the sugar cookies. As he measured out what he would need Louis came over to help him.

“It’s temping really low,” he murmured.

“The roast? It should be done.” Harry replied, matching his tone as he set the mixer on medium. For all that they had compensated for the oven running a little lower, this was still too long for it to have been in there.

Louis nodded as he came around and started opening up pastry bags and putting them in pint glasses so they could fill them. “It’s not. We put it back in.”

“Maybe no one will notice.”

Louis agreed conspiratorially and held the first glass so Harry could fill it with the now-mixed icing. 

“Should this roast be coming out?” Leigh-Ann called from the kitchen.

Startled, Harry pushed too much of the frosting out of the bowl by accident and most of it dripped down the top of the bag where it definitely wasn’t supposed to be.

“No, just a few more minutes,” Louis replied.

Harry turned to Luke who was pointing a camera directly at him. “Don’t get this on camera.”

Louis leaned over and held a hand over his mouth but cheated the angle to make sure Luke got it. “Harold,” he said in a stage whisper. “We’re surrounded by cameras.”

He was such a shit.

Harry smeared some icing on his bare arm in retaliation.

“Argh!” Louis squawked. “Harold!”

Liam, thankfully, intervened before they could get too far down that path. There weren’t going to be any food fights on his watch.

By the time the cookies were decorated and setting, Perrie and Leigh-Ann were done filming their segment. All that was left was Niall and Shawn making their winter cocktails.

Because all of this was leading to a fake dinner party, everyone brought a nice change of clothes which meant everyone had to scatter to various parts of the house to change.

He and Louis remembered at the very last second that morning to put the guest room sheets on the bed and move his bag and phone charger in there in case anyone used the area to change. Almost immediately as soon as everyone dispersed the girls all went into Gemma’s room while Mitch and Adam commandeered the guest room.

Louis grabbed his clothes before making an excuse about it being a tight squeeze so he would use Harry’s room.

The door barely clicked into place before Louis had him wrapped up in his arms kissing him long and deep.

“It turns out,” Louis broke up his sentences with kisses along Harry’s jaw. “I really like touching you.”

Harry laughed. “That’s good.”

Louis paused for a moment, deadly serious. “No it's not. I want to do it all the time.”

“Yeah, I know,” Harry nodded as he looped his arms around his neck. “Come on, let’s get changed. The faster we get this all over with, the faster everyone else goes home.”

Louis reluctantly agreed and they both freshened up.

“Harry! Where’s the extra toilet paper?” Adam called from the hallway, his voice way too close for comfort.

“Under the sink,” he yelled back.

When he turned around Louis was changed into a much nicer pullover sweater and black jeans. The theme was holiday, after all. Harry had chosen a plain black silk blouse with red, black, white, and a hint of gold plaid trousers.

Louis picked his hand up and held it, rubbing his thumb over the black polish on Harry’s nails. Harry painted them so often he sort of forgot he was wearing it.

“I like them like this,” he said as he lifted Harry’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. He had done that quite a few times now, and as with most things Louis did, it should have been cheesy but it wasn’t.

“Yeah?” Harry kissed him again before opening the door so he could lead the way back downstairs.

While they were upstairs, Jesy had come down and pulled the roast again.

He and Louis made a beeline for her. “Is it done?” Louis whispered. 

Jesy pressed a finger to her lips and shook her head. “Five more minutes.”

They thought they were going to get away with sneaking it back in but they definitely didn’t. The chefs were all appearing from every corner of the house in their holiday party garb and caught them. 

It was even funnier because the other chefs were roasting them about the roast, but the only person who found that funny was Harry, apparently. Louis had not been amused.

Harry focused on plating his cookies and setting some aside to be photographed the next day while the main area of the kitchen quickly devolved into unmitigated chaos. 

Entertaining always meant the last thirty minutes before your guests arrived was chaotic, but on top of that there were ten professional chefs all vying for the same counter space, and it was just too much.

Louis finally called some order to the kitchen. “Alright, Harry, you should QB the table setting. I’ll help you, Jesy will help you, whatever you need.” 

Harry was pretty sure that meant he was in charge of it but he wasn’t great with sports metaphors. Everyone else was given the task of heating and plating their dishes, so Harry left their sides to Mitch and started pulling serving dishes out of the china cabinet.

Despite his promise to help, Harry caught Louis looking at his phone. 

“Lou, you got eyes on this roast?” he asked, knowing the answer.

Louis looked up briefly. “What? Oh, yeah,” he answered before immediately going back to looking at his phone.

It was cute, but Harry’s stress levels were starting to rise, so it wasn’t quite cute enough. On his next driveby Harry prodded him, forcing him to get up and see if the meat was well rested enough.

Five minutes later, as though someone had waved a magic wand over the proceedings, they were miraculously ready.

Perrie and Leigh-Ann plated and set the appetizers on the kitchen island while the cookies were off in their own little corner on display, and the main meal was set family-style on the dining table.

Harry took a few deep breaths while the cameras were off so Bebe the food stylist could come in behind them and fix all of their chaotic plating. This was all about image after all. When she was done, Luke took some more time to shoot stills of the table, and the surrounding area as well as of the appetizers and desserts.

As they all stood watching them work their magic, Louis rubbed his knuckles up and down Harry’s spine. His first instinct was to be worried about what it looked like, but he remembered they used to do that all the time as “just friends,” and it was immensely soothing so he wasn’t going to complain.

The nice thing about the way they had structured this whole shoot, was that at the end, no matter how fake it was, they could enjoy a dinner party amongst friends and sample all of their colleagues’ food in a well thought out meal. It wasn’t often they got to do that.

So, for all of the direction from Liam to ‘pretend they were celebrating,’ it really did feel like a special occasion.

Harry woke up the next morning in a comfortingly familiar position; in Louis’ arms, similar to how he had woken up the day before. They weren’t in as much of a rush, ironically given what they managed to accomplish yesterday.

Most of the chefs and crew were exploring the shops in town and coming back to the house in shifts so they could finish up the last couple things they needed before they went back to the city.

Harry would have preferred if Louis wasn’t going with them, but when Harry got back to the city they would have time. Last night they stayed up comparing their schedules on their phones to make sure.

As Harry soaked up some of the morning light, he felt Louis shift behind him.

“I think I’m losing,” he said, his gruff morning voice once again dancing along Harry’s nerves. He never understood ASMR before, but maybe this was the key.

“Mmm,” Harry hummed as he fell to his back and Louis draped himself on his chest. “Losing what.”

Louis shifted backwards until he could easily tease his fingers across Harry’s pubic bone. “You know. Losing.”

That was all the warning Harry had before Louis pulled the covers over his head.

Harry’s laugh faded into a moan.

An hour later, Gemma was glaring at them over their yogurt and fruit bowls. Harry forgot to check if she was awake that morning the way he had the day before.

Alternatively, given how long Louis had edged him before he let him come, Harry very well could have woken her up. Whoops.

Blissfully ignorant of the brewing fratricide, Louis and Anne were laughing at something in the fridge. Harry couldn’t tell what it was before they shut the door and came back to the counter.

“So, Harry,” his mother started with the sort of voice that meant whatever she was about to ask, she already knew the answer to. “Were you just going to give me back the clean guest room sheets and make me wash them again, or were you going to fess up?”

Louis choked on air.

Harry, having been through this before, stood up and pressed a kiss to his mom’s cheek. “Sorry. If it’s any consolation, I was going to pretend to wash them myself before I gave them back to you.”

“Well, at least you’re doing your chores,” she replied with a knowing look.

“Sorry?” Louis added after realizing the coast was clear.

“That’s alright, dear.” Anne patted his hand as she passed by him to put her mug in the sink.

They didn’t have much time to dwell on the conversation as the first round of Bon Appétit crew showed up to set up. Saved by the bell again.

Because it was only half the crew this time, everything was much less frenetic, and they had a lot more time to relax in the nice, sunny weather. It was nice to have two uninterrupted sunny days up in the mountains like that.

Louis worked hard helping Liam pack everything back up again between the leftovers, the equipment, and all of the bags prepping the vans to go back to the city.

The second van full of people came back after the official check-out time in the B&B and all three vans were lined up in his driveway once again.

As they all stood there double checking everything, Harry patted himself on the back for staying under the radar with Louis over the past two days. He thought they were in the clear.

And they were, until Louis was about to climb up into the passenger seat next to Zayn and Harry realized his backpack was sitting on the ground next to him leaning against the garage door.

“Wait, Lou! Your bag!” He bent down to pick it up as Louis circled around the front of the van and reached out to take it from him.

“Thanks, babe,” he said as he leaned up to pop a kiss on Harry’s lips before turning to walk back.

Harry froze immediately, but it took Louis two full steps before he realized what he had done and he froze as well.

Maybe no one saw it, Harry reasoned.

When he finally looked past Louis, he saw that every one of his colleagues was either standing outside a van watching them or pressing their faces against the windows. Zayn was staring at them wide-eyed like a deer in headlights.

“That’s… new,” Mitch said slowly. 

Niall stood on the foothold of the van and threw his arms up in the air triumphantly. “Yes!” 

That broke the seal and while the rest of the chefs and crew all started talking at once with various exclamations of “I told you so,” and “I knew it,” Louis doubled back to Harry.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he tucked Harry’s curl back behind his ear.

Harry did his best to smile through how embarrassed he was. It wasn’t Louis’ fault and it was actually quite sweet that it felt natural enough for him to do that. Plus, it was all for Louis and his privacy that Harry wanted to stay under the radar in the first place.

“Hey, no. It’s okay. I promise.”

It was Shawn this time that stuck his head out. “Kiss, him. Kiss, him,” he chanted. Everyone else was quick to join him.

Louis raised his eyebrows in question and Harry nodded.

The cheer that went up when they kissed for real was the loudest yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! You can find the Tumblr post [here](https://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com/).
> 
> And please also support [trailsofpaper](https://trailsofpaper.tumblr.com/) here as well!


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